Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom, Chapter 29

As he listened to the back and forth, Matticus realized that Revis was stalling because his Knight was in trouble.  He began to crawl towards the sound of the voices, as quietly as possible, to try and salvage the situation.  However, when he heard that it was a trap to capture him he stopped.  There was something about the way the assailant laughed, something he recognized.

The aha moment came exactly as he felt his arms get grasped and then twisted painfully behind his back, as he was hoisted to his feet.  It was Dani.  She had betrayed them.

The Jester’s mind raced, frantically trying to think of a solution to the current predicament, even as he struggled against the powerful arms that held him in check.

“We’ve got him,” a voice said behind him.

“And now, dear Revis, it is time to die,” Dani said maliciously.

Matticus was horrified to hear the sheer delight in her voice.  He briefly wondered what his Knight had done to draw out such animosity in her even as he was calling out in despair.

Then there was a crack and a thud in quick succession followed by silence.  The arms gripping the Jester slackened a bit as his captors were distracted by something that was obviously a change in the plan.

When Matticus heard Deb speak, he nearly had a heart attack he was so relieved.

“Release the Jester, or you will all die.”

“Do it,” Dani commanded her associates. Then, with glee in her voice, she added, “Too bad, Revis, she didn’t say anything about you.”

Dani stabbed. Her knife sunk into flesh. Blood splattered everywhere. The sound of gagging echoed throughout the room causing Matticus to cringe. “Revis,” he called out, hoping that his Knight wasn’t hurt too badly.

Seconds later, the sounds of gagging drifted away to be replaced by silence. With a laugh, Dani asked, “Who is going to protect you now, Jester?”

Suddenly, light burst into the room when somebody said, “Futbol rules.”

Matticus was confused. It wasn’t until his vision adjusted to the light that he understood what had happened. Revis stood behind Dani, holding the fiery sword at her back. Deb was the one holding onto the Jester’s arms. One of Dani’s helpers laid dead at her feet.

“How….I mean, how….but…”

“Don’t worry about the details,” Revis shrugged at him. “Just care about the outcome.”

As he shook his head at his Knight’s antics, Matticus realized that he knew where they were. They were in the basement of his castle. Of course, that was where they were supposed to be, but after being away for so long, it felt good to finally be home.

The Jester breathed in the familiar smells of home, but then coughed as his nostrils caught odors that didn’t belong.  His home had been overrun.  It was no longer the familiar, the sanctuary, the safe haven for him.  His eyes sought and found Dani’s in the flickering light from the magical sword and he shrugged out of Deb’s grasp, striding towards their would-be betrayer.

“What have you done?  And why!”

Revis brought the sword closer to her garments so she could feel the heat licking off it, and yet her gaze never wavered with fear or uncertainty.  Whatever her reasons were, the threat of dying would not be enough to get her to talk.

Stopping in front of her, Matticus tried to recall every detail about his subject that he could bring to mind, desperate for something that would concern her more than her own life.  When he hit upon it, he couldn’t help the dark smile that twisted his lips.  Using her family against her seemed only fitting considering the threats that had been leveled against his own family.

“How is your wife these days?  Do you have her hidden someplace safe?”

Dani’s eyes bulged and the resolution on her face dropped.  She loved her wife more than anything else in the world.

“It doesn’t matter,” Revis interrupted. “I still have some of that ink left. No matter how good you have her hidden, I can make a portal that will take me right to her.”

With a look of defiance, she stared into Revis’ eyes, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, so you and yours can threaten our families, but we can’t do it to you?” When she didn’t answer, the Knight continued, “I won’t like it, but if it means that my family, the Jester’s family, and the rest of the Kingdom is safe, I will do whatever is necessary to get you to talk. And I guarantee that you will like it a lot less than I will.”

While Dani contemplated the Knight’s threat, Deb disarmed the traitor’s cohorts as Matticus tied them up. Violently, the room began to shake. The four people who weren’t tied were able to hold their balance. All of the others fell to the floor.

“There’s our distraction,” Matticus said. “Rara and Grayson are right on time. What should we do with her,” he asked, gesturing to Dani.

Revis turned to walk towards the door. Over his shoulder, he called out, “Kill her.”

Matticus started to object, she may still have been of some use, information or as a bargaining chip, plus there had already been so much needless loss of life in this war.  However, he stayed his retort.  Dani had picked her side.  She had put his family in danger.  She had betrayed her oath.  Her fate was sealed.

Deb was watching the Jester for confirmation of Revis’ command, and he nodded once, solemnly, and then followed his Knight out of the room.  He wasn’t happy about it, but he had made harder decisions in his time ruling the kingdom.

Sprinting to catch up to Revis, Matticus said, “We got a bit lucky back there.  If Deb had been in on the plot too, we’d have been done for.”

Revis didn’t reply.  The knight continued to stride purposefully towards their next objective.  There was work to be done and he didn’t have the time or brain power to waste on the what-ifs of their journey.  Matticus could see that in his face, so the Jester let the matter drop.

Once they reached the main corridor, they slowed down. The two of them began hiding in the shadows as they moved. Matticus noted that there were no guards in the hallways. Dragons made great distractions, apparently.

Just as they reached the throne room, Revis abruptly stopped. Turning back to Matticus he questioned, “You know I was just joking about killing Dani, right?”


“Come on, now. We don’t kill off fellow bloggers.”

“But you cut off Guapo’s head!”

“Ok, so I killed off one fellow blogger. I haven’t killed any more yet, have I?”

“But you said…”

“Relax. I’m sure Deb knew I was kidding.”

“She doesn’t know you!”

“Oh, yeah. Well, I guess it wasn’t a very good joke then, was it?”

The Jester sputtered through an incoherent response. Revis flashed a smile right before he opened the door to the throne room. After the Knight walked through the door, Matticus stopped his sputtering long enough to follow him. As soon as they stepped inside the threshold, the door slammed shut behind them.

“Welcome,” came a voice that they hadn’t heard in a long time. Looking, they saw Jaded sitting on the Queen’s throne. “I’ve been expecting you.”

Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom, Chapter 26

The adventure continues. Pop on over to 33 Grams of Blog to see what crazy situations Revis and I had to get ourselves out of in this chapter. Hijinks galore!

33 Grams of Blog

“Attack?”  Steph’s eyes went wide with fear, “That can’t be!”

“The vampires must have gotten wise to the disappearing populace,” Revis replied.  “They probably sent out patrols to see if there were any groups camping outside the city walls.  That’s what I would have done.”

Steph shot Revis a death glare.

“What’s the plan,” Matticus whispered, trying to bring the focus back on their current problem.  “We have to go to their aide, right?”

Steph’s eyes went even wider.  She hadn’t ever considered leaving the small community she had been helping to build to their fate.  It troubled her greatly that such an idea would even be a consideration.  Her discomfort grew with each passing second it took the Knight to respond.

With a sigh, Revis shook himself out of his revelry and addressed Steph and Matticus.  “I’ll use my ring to get close to the camp and see what…

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Revis and Matticus Save The Kingdom, Chapter 22

Revis and I continue on our quest to save the Kingdom from the invading sparkly vampires. There are plenty of twists and turns still ahead of us… Go check it out!

33 Grams of Blog

Matticus tried to scream, but he had no mouth, and there was no air to carry the sound waves anyway.  Next to him, he saw that Revis had turned into a whale, and for some reason he thought that was weirder than his own predicament: he had turned into a potted plant.  He tried to laugh, but when nothing happened he remembered he had no mouth.

He did, however, notice that they were falling at a great rate of speed, and the world they were approaching was getting larger and larger.  As he began to feel the air rushing through his leaves he realized he could scream if he had a mouth, and was actually thankful he was a plant so he couldn’t hear the terror in his voice.  The whale thrashing around next time was making plenty of noice for both of them as it was.

As the air grew…

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Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom, Chapter 21

Matticus and Revis’ vision cleared and they found themselves on a green expanse between another soft looking dwelling and a densely populated forest.

“How many more times are we going to jump?”  Matticus’ question to his Knight went unanswered though, because there was a commotion coming from the house.  Knight and Jester watched two people fight there way free from the house and then flee into the words nearby.  There was a brief exchange that they couldn’t quite hear, and then the two people, a child and a woman, vanished into the darkness.  And then the whole world vanished again as they were swept through another portal.

There was no light change to get used to, though, as one darkness was changed for another, deeper.  From the feel of the air and the smell of the place, Revis could tell they had found themselves in a cave.

“Don’t move,” he whispered to Matticus.  His words echoed in the empty spaces of the cavern despite how quietly he had spoken them.  “There could be a drop off anywhere.”

When his words came back to them, however, they had changed to the voice of a very young boy, “Go then, there are other worlds than these.”  The voice was haunting and then it disappeared as the Knight and Jester were transported again.

They next found themselves in a castle. Revis and Matticus were off to the side of the large dining room. Revis saw a man in green tights, a white shirt, a brown vest, and a feathered hat sitting on a table, facing a man with a crown on his head. This person of royalty had a mole on his face and was looking at the man intensely. “And why should the people listen to you,” the crowned man asked.

The Man In Tights answered, “Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.”

The entire room erupted with a giant gasp. A second later, they were in a new place.

They were in a building much like Twindaddy’s home. There were three people in a heated discussion: an older man, a younger man, and a woman about the same age as the younger man.

The older man was accusing the younger one of some grave misdeed. The younger man was protesting his innocence. The woman was pleading with them to stop arguing. Suddenly, the younger man turned into a giant green monster and creating a gaping hole in the wall with its fist.

Then, they jumped again and found themeselves in a store the likes of which neither man had seen before.  An attractive blonde, wearing far too little clothing to be seen in public was talking with a man who seemed to be purchasing what Matticus and Revis immediately recognized as the tools for dark deeds.

Then the man left the store and entered a very loud contraption that defied gravity.  Knowing that some sort of magic had to be at play, Revis tried to activate his ring, but before he could, the Jester and Knight were pulled from the world and dropped in a new one.

They were immediately assaulted by lights and thunderous music, and a pervaling smell of alcohol.  They felt saturated by it.  People swirled by them in various gawdy outfits, obviously engaged in some form of dance, but it wasn’t one that either man recognized.  The live band, playing on an elevated stage, seemed to become more and more frenzied with each passing second.  The gathered throng responded by increasing their own frenetic movement.

Matticus covered his mouth, the sound, the motion, it was more than he could handle.  He turned to disgorge the contents of his stomach, but was jostled by a well appointed gentleman before he could.

“Oh, excuse me, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could find Gatsby?”

When next they opened their eyes, they were standing outside a house. Looking through the window, they saw a little girl sleeping on the bed. With a loud crash, the door to the room came crashing down as two grappling men burst through it.

They watched as the two men fought. One was fully enraged. The other one seemed content to let the mad man vent his anger and stayed on the defensive. A woman ran in, trying to break up the fight. She fell to the ground in the ensuing melee.

By this time, the little girl was awake and crying. None of it seemed to matter to the enraged man. He continued until both men went through one of the room’s walls. The wall fell on top of the little girl. Revis and Matticus were about to break in through the window to help her when, suddenly, a man appeared out of nowhere.

“There’s someone else who can do this,” Matticus exclaimed.

“Let’s go ask him how we control this,” Revis added.

Before they could question him, the calmer man jumped on top of him and they both disappeared. Then, they saw another light flash and found themselves in the shadowy recesses of the oddest looking outhouse.  A giant mirror lined one wall, along with a group of basins, and there was a woman standing at them who appeared to be talking to herself.

“No, Al, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do this time around.”

“I know.  But, I …”  Looking up, the woman saw Matticus and Revis and asked “Are you supposed to be here?”

Stepping out of the corner, Matticus replied, “No, Dr. Becket, but you aren’t supposed to be here either.  The three of us are lost at the moment, aren’t we?”

“Who is that?  How do you know her?”  Revis stepped forward too, but kept his right hand ready to draw a dagger if needed.

“Him, actually.  Dr. Sam Becket.  He’s just trapped in a woman’s body right now.”

Revis was obviously confused, “What?”

“How do you know that?”  The quantum physicist backed away from the knight and jester.

“Not important,” Matticus responded calmly.  “But, I do know why you are here.  You are supposed to help us get home.  That is the wrong you are supposed to right this time.”

“What?”  Revis asked again.

Right as Matticus was about to explain, they were gone again. The next place they found themselves was in a kitchen. Sitting at the table were a white dog, sipping something out of a glass that Matticus remembered seeing at a bar, and an infant with an oddly shaped head. Both men weren’t sure what to make of the scene in front of them.

“What the deuce are you staring at,” the infant demanded.

Thinking he was hallucinating, Matticus turned to Revis and asked, “Why don’t we get out of here?”

“Why don’t you burn in hell!”

“Don’t mind him,” the dog said, once again making Matticus question whether or not he was hallucinating. “He’s just upset because I won’t let him play with his newest toy.”

“Why won’t you let him play with his toys?”

“The dog is afraid we’ll be trapped once we step through the portal,” the infant answered.

“You have a portal?”

Revis jumped across the table and grabbed the dog by his collar. “Take us to this portal,” he ordered.

Without a word, but after gulping down the rest of its drink, the dog led them all up a flight of steps, into a room with a baby bed. He opened the closet door, revealing the portal. “You ready,” Revis asked.

With a nod, both men stepped through the portal.

Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom, Chapter 20

The adventure continues. Pop on over to 33 Grams of Blog to see what shenanigans Revis and I are up to this week. Keep your eyes open for dinosaurs, er, um… dragons Yes, dragons…

33 Grams of Blog

The portal shimmered, revealing a brilliant flow of colors. Those colors swirled until they turned into a blurry image of the dungeon cell where they had left Jaded.

Jaded slept in the corner. A loud sound echoed through the hallway, waking her up. She watched as a shadowy figure walked up to the bars. No, not walked. It glided up to the cell’s bars. There were no feet or legs coming out of the shadows to touch the floor.

At first, Jaded smiled as the figure came closer. Then, when the shadow got next to her, Jaded lunged, trying to grab the figure through the bars. “You never told me that they’d turn me human,” she spat venomously, her voice sounding strange coming from the portal.

The shadow laughed. “I told you they were more formidable than you’d give them credit for. You still did good to get them to go through the…

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