many questions and one firm statement

I was bullied in Junior High: pantsed, laughed at, mocked, knocked around, chased, tormented…

I was fast, though, and, when I could, I would run.  I’d run away from my tormentors, run away from my bullies, run away from the pain…  Sometimes I managed to get away clean.  Sometimes I didn’t.

Regardless.  I could never outrun the shame and humiliation.

I often wished I had the courage to stand and fight, to take the punches and kicks, and lash out with my feet and hands, returning blow for blow.  I wished I had the strength to turn my shame into channeled fury.  I wished I had the fortitude to turn my fear off, to not worry about what they would do to me if I stood to fight, to not worry about what it would mean for my school career, the suspension, the possible expulsion.  I wished I could inflict the kind of pain on them that they had inflicted upon me.

But…

Would that make me as bad as them?  If I hurt them as they had been hurting me would I too be a bully?  Where was the line between defending myself and taking it too far?  Would I have known that line?  Would I have ever even come close to the line… me, against all of them…

Would I be a different person now if I had?

Because I like who I am now.  I like where I am now.  I love the people in my life and I wouldn’t give them up for anything.  Did those terrible experiences in junior high set me on this path?  Did I have to go through those trials and tribulations to make it here, to appreciate what I have now?

As much as I wonder how my life back then would have been different if I had chosen fight over flight, I wouldn’t go back and change anything.

However, if my little prince is ever bullied, I will let him know it is okay to stand and fight, it is okay to set aside the fear of the consequences and give as good as he gets, because if the time comes we will face the aftermath together.

not fighting the good fight

I’m struggling to fend off a head cold today, and I’m afraid to say I’m losing the battle.

I had ideas for solid posts today: insightful, funny, perhaps a touch irreverent.  Alas, my poor besotted brain couldn’t articulate any of those ideas into anything tangible for your consumption.

So, instead you are getting some more pictures of one of my kitties and another shameless self promotion.

A few days ago I found myself on the couch.  Yes, that one, that wondrously evil pile of cushions and comfort and distractions.  Once again, I had the full intention of working on editing my NaNoWriMo project, which I’ve dubbed Sierra Storm, but then Sara jumped up on the couch with me.

And.

I.

Was.

Distracted.

 

What are you working on there?
What are you working on there?

 

How could I work when all that cute was going on?

I’m so glad you agree that I absolutely couldn’t.

It certainly helps me feel less guilty about missing out on prime editing time.

And we could leave it at that, but then this happened:

Nom.  Nom.  Nom.
Nom. Nom. Nom.

I’m hoping that isn’t her review of my work…

 

Rise a Knight

All comic book nerds in the blogosphere raise a hand.

I’d like to raise my hand but I don’t think the rest of the group would actually accept me.  It’s been a long time since I’ve read a comic book.  It’s been even longer since I bought a new one.  And, I didn’t get around to watching The Dark Knight Rises until yesterday when it came out on DVD. 

So, you see, I don’t think they’d actually associate with me.

*hang my head in shame*

I’m some lesser form of comic book nerd.  A wanna-be perhaps?  Or, just a semi-nerd?

…..

I’m not really into the “reviewing” of things.  That’s not something my blog has tackled in any depth before.  And I’m not going to start now even though I do have a few comments on the ending.

However, I will say that if you haven’t seen the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight movie trilogy, you should probably get on that and stop reading now because there are some spoilers below.

…..

 

As the movie neared its end I was fairly upset with the direction the story was headed.  Call me old-fashioned if you want, but I don’t like it when movies kill off the main characters (the good guys anyway) even if it some heroic act of self-sacrifice that saves an entire city. 

However, the “fairly upset” turned into outright rage when the movie ended with so many teasers for continued storylines in movies to come.  Those are all movies we will never see though because the trilogy is complete and all the principles are walking away.  I want to know what happens next!

Movies ending on cliff hangers like that is one of my least favorite things ever.

Just slightly above speed bumps.