Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of film dialogue into my day to day lingo. The following is a
useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.
You probably shouldn’t ever use most of these.* However, I’ve used many of them and the rest I’m just waiting for the perfect opportunity.
Q: What do you say when someone says they hurt themselves?
A: “Let me take your mind off the pain.” (At this point I really, really, really don’t recommend breaking their finger. Don’t do it.)
– Maj. Benson Payne (Damon Wayans) – Major Payne
Q: What do you say when someone asks a really good question?
A: “That, is the right question.”
– Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell) – I, Robot
Q: What do you say when someone asks how you got so good at what you do?
A: “I was trained by the best. British intelligence. But in retrospect I would rather have been a poet. Or a farmer.”
– John Mason (Sean Connery) – The Rock
Q: What do you say when you see mob mentality starting to overrun humanity?
A: “That’s a lot of cows.”
– Hatcher (Christopher Walken) – The Rundown
Q: What do you say when someone says they are too scared to do something?
A: “That’s why no-one will remember your name.” (You could also just yell “Hector” a whole bunch of times. That would work too.)
– Achilles (Brad Pitt) – Troy
Q: What do you say if someone asks if you want to go out dancing?
A: “Computer, define dancing’.”
– Captain (Jeff Garlin) – Wall-E
Q: What do you say when someone is talking to you and getting on your very last nerve?
A: “I don’t know what it is about you, but the more you talk, the more you give me the willies.”
– Frank James (Sam Shepard) – The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Q: What do you say when someone asks how much longer you are going to carry on with an activity, if you have a limit?
A: “I guess I just haven’t reached mine yet.”
– The Punisher (Dolph Lundgren) – The Punisher
Q: What do you say when you run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time?
A: “Carl? Carl! Merry Christmas! How is it we’re always talking on Christmas, Carl? Every Christmas, I’m talking to you!”
Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) – Catch Me if You Can
Q: What do you say when you find yourself lost and going in circles while in the car?
A: “Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament… again.”
– Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) – National Lampoon’s European Vacation