Revis and Matticus save the Kingdom, Chapter 15

For the first few seconds after he went through the portal, all Revis was able to see was a bright light. When he was finally able to see something else, he found himself looking at the angry face of Matticus. “Why did you do that,” the Jester demanded. “And what took you so long in following?”

“What are you talking about,” Revis asked innocently. “I stepped through the portal right after you.”

Matticus didn’t believe that for a second, but he was so grateful that he was no longer alone that he let it go….for now.

Revis turned his attention away from his companion and began surveying their surroundings.  The walls of the small room were made of dry mud. A white door, made out of some material that he had never seen before, was the only other thing in the room. Not knowing what else to do, Revis went to inspect the door. He was wondering how he was going to open it, as it had no handle on it, when it opened by itself.

The Knight took his daggers out and looked for whoever had just opened the door. When no threat made itself apparent, Revis took a cautious step back, thinking that they were dealing with someone else who could turn invisible. As he stepped back, the door closed. An idea struck him. He stepped forward again and watched as the door opened back up.

“Is that some sort of trick?”  Matticus asked as he took a step closer to the door.  “Have you pulled something else out from your bag of wonders?”

“No, the door is opening and closing on it’s own,” Revis replied, scratching his cheek in thought.  “It must have some magical charm on it.”

Matticus looked askance at his Knight and then the door.  He didn’t like the idea of trusting sorcery in a world he wasn’t familiar with, especially when whoever probably controlled that magic was also responsible for sending the sparkly vampires into his kingdom.  “Well, we’re here, some of us for longer than others, now what do we do?”

“Come on,” Revis said as he sheathed his daggers and stepped towards the doorway to have the opening appear again, “let’s see what’s on the other side.”

With that, the Knight stepped out of the small room.  Matticus cringed as Revis crossed the threshold, fully expecting there to be a trap or for the door to close again on his companion.  When nothing happened, he quickly followed Revis through the door, with a little skip over the threshold just in case there was a trigger his Knight had been somehow lucky enough to miss the first time through.

The room they stepped into was constructed in the same manner as the one they just left. It was just bigger and had furniture, including a bed, table, and storage chest. Revis wanted to open the chest to see what was inside, but it was locked. Normally, that wouldn’t have stopped him, but this lock was unlike anything he had ever seen. Strange glowing symbols covered the lock plate. He reached out to touch one of the symbols.

“Are you crazy,” Matticus scolded. “You don’t know what will happen if you touch that.”

“That’s why I’m going to touch it: to see what will happen when I do.”

“This is a wizard’s domain. Those symbols could mean a magical trap.”

Revis was about to argue further when they heard something coming from the outside of the other door in the room. He pointed at the door they had just come from. As quickly, and quietly, as they could, they walked back through the door. Just as the door closed, they heard the other one open. A loud crash soon followed it. That’s when they heard a man yelling.

“What an idiot,” the man hollered. “Those were the droids we were looking for, you moron!”

“What’s a droid,” Matticus whispered.

His Knight ignored him and went back to listening to what was happening in the other room. He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like the man was talking to himself.

“What’s a nerfherder?”  Matticus whispered again.

The man in the other room was ranting so loudly about something idiotic his Captain had done that there wasn’t any concern that the Jester’s whispered questions would be overheard, but Revis silenced Matticus with a glare anyway.  The jester shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes.  He knew that Revis had no idea what was going on or what their next should be either.

Though, if the man yelling in the other room was the person they were looking for, and was a magician of sorts as well, Matticus was loathe to confront him until he had settled down.  Magicians, he had learned, were volatile at the best of times, and irate ones were best to be avoided at all costs.

The Jester was, therefore, mortified as he saw Revis step towards the magic door again as the noise from the other room begin to dwindle down.  He reached out for his Knight, trying to grab hold of the man’s armor and halt his progress, but Revis eluded his grasp.

The door swept open, and the man from the other side said, “What?  Who’s there?  Show yourself or I’ll blast you!”

The threat of being blasted confirmed that the man was indeed a magician and as Revis stepped through the door, Matticus followed knowing that they were about to enter a foray they had little hope of winning.

With his hands up, trying to be as nonthreatening as possible, Revis stepped into view of the other man. It was indeed the man with shiny bone armor. In his hands, he held the most peculiar looking magic wand that Revis had ever seen. Suddenly, red fire shot out of the end of it. The fire went a foot wide of the Knight’s head and left a scorch mark on the wall behind him.

With a voice that sounded surprisingly different than the one he was using before, the man swore, “Dammit!” He began ripping his helmet off as he muttered, “The targeting system in this thing blows. No wonder my squadmates can’t hit anything.”

By the time he had finished removing the helmet, Revis had closed the distance between them and was holding his daggers at the man’s throat. “I could kill you with a twitch,” Revis threatened.

“Try it,” the man responded, showing that he had the wand held at the Knight’s stomach.

Matticus watched it all unfold as his eyes went from the smoking smudge on the wall to the wand held against his knight.  He wasn’t sure what a targeting system was, or what that had to do with the magician’s ability to perform his magic, but he knew that Revis had little hope of surviving a magical blast from that range.

At least they were at a standoff, if Revis moved the man in the bone white armor would surely unleash a devastating spell, and if the magician moved then Revis would quickly dispatch him.  That meant that Matticus was free to tip the balance back into their favor.  He just had no idea how to do it.

He considered pulling his flaming sword and using it as a distraction to draw the sorcerer’s attention and hope that Revis could break away from the wand, but the weapon was too close.  He couldn’t risk it.  He considered trying to talk the men out of their current situation but didn’t have the best track record with that sort of thing.  The seconds seemed to stretch for hours and the Jester’s mind raced from idea to idea.

“This is stupid,” he muttered as he launched himself at the pair.

“What?”  The magician caught sight of the mid-air Jester and his hand jerked slightly away from Revis to brace himself against the impact.

At the same moment, Revis activated his magic ring and turned invisible.

The blaster fired, filling the air with a surge of electric power.

spin, spin, spin the black circle

A bird in the hand was worth two in the bush when I purchased my turntables.

I knew that I shouldn’t deplete more than half of the money I had in savings.  I knew that it was a big risk and I’d probably never make that money back through gigs.  I knew the smart thing would be to either buy cheaper turntables (rather than the top of the line ones you’d find in clubs) or to be realistic and buy nothing at all and continue to save that money for life.

But, at that time, having those turntables and getting to learn on them and become a DJ for a few years was worth far more to me than anything in the future I could have used that money (and the interest it would have accrued) for.

Spin me right round, like a record baby.

And when your team lets you down…

throw a coin at the opposing team… ?!  Okay, we’ll come back to that.

Sunday was derby day in Manchester: United vs. City.  Blue hosting Red.  2nd against 1st in the early league standings.  So, pretty much epic on all fronts. 

Last year City won both derby matches, including a victory of monumental proportions away to United at Old Trafford that could be argued handed them the league, since they ended level on points but ahead on goal difference at the end of the season.  (My heart still hurts a little thinking about that game.)

To continue on my theme of not really doing a full review of anything, here are my comments on the game:

Wayne Rooney was immense.  Showing up at the right time for the second goal.  Creating good space for himself on the first goal.  His vision, his tracking back, and every other aspect of his game were spot on (except for a few passes that didn’t come off quite as he (and the rest of us) had hoped they would.)  He was the man of the match, without a doubt.  His 10 derby goals are a testament for what he has meant to United and what he will continue to mean for the Red Devils.

That’s kind of all I want to say… but, since that doesn’t seem like enough, here are some extra tidbits:

It was good to have Valencia back on the right side, and I hope with some more game time he’ll get in a few better crosses in the coming games.  Ashley Young had a great game and it’s not often I find myself saying that.  I have a bit of a man crush on Robin van Persie.  And, if it wasn’t him, then it would probably be Rafael.  It’s too bad that someone didn’t step in front of Yaya Toure’s shot because if that hadn’t resulted in a goal, David De Gea’s two saves right before that would have been contenders for save of the year.  Zaboleta’s goal was fantastic.  There isn’t much I like about Samir Nasri, but I find myself strangely fond of his right foot this morning.

Okay, that pretty much wraps that up.

What?  Really?  Okay fine…  The officiating:  Yes, Smalling handled the ball.  Yes, Evra should have been awarded a PK.  I still think Young was offside.  Yes, the ref should have given Toure the advantage when he was on a breakaway rather than halting the play to hand Rooney a yellow card.  It pretty much all evened out.  Pretty sure the game would have ended with the 3 points going to United even if all of the above had been called “correctly.”  Argue with me if you want.

Okay, now, that pretty much wraps it up.

Wait, what?  Oh, yeah, I guess I should explain the title of this post.  You are correct, my team didn’t let me down.  So, what am I talking about?  In the 92nd minute, after Robin van Persie had scored the winner for United, a City fan threw a coin out of the stands that struck Rio Ferdinand in the face, opening a gash that forced him to come off the pitch to get the blood cleaned up.

I’m fairly passionate when it comes to football (soccer).  I will readily admit that I am a fan in the true sense of the word (fanatic) when it comes to my two teams: Los Angeles Galaxy and Manchester United.  But never at any point when I’ve experienced a frustrating and demoralizing loss (including a certain derby last season already mentioned above) did I think, “Hey, I’m very upset and I just happen to have this coin in my pocket, maybe I should throw it.”

Who does that?

where were you?

I was there when Landon Donovan hoisted the MLS Cup this afternoon…

I was there when Juninho borrowed one of the giant Galaxy flags and waved it in celebration.

I was there when David Beckham was substituted in stoppage time at the end of the second half to a prolonged standing ovation.

I was there when Beckham threw himself at the far post trying to turn in Robbie Keane’s cross.

I was there when Robbie Keane slotted home the third Galaxy goal and went into his sommersaulting routine, knowing he had just put the game out of Houston’s reach.

I was there when Landon Donovan sent his spot kick bulging out the back of the net to put the Galaxy in the lead.

I was there when Omar Gonzalez rose highest and slotted home the equalizer.

I was there while Josh Saunders came up with save after save to keep the Galaxy in the game.

I was there early, I was there late, I was there singing, and chanting, and clapping and screaming.

I am losing my voice, much to my wife’s immense humor.  Totally worth it.


Adieu Beckham.  You are class.  You’re heart and your quality can never be questioned.  Thank you for the six years of memories and best of luck on your next adventure.

Donovan…  if you choose to walk away, I support that 100%, you need to do what is right for you.  But you will be missed.

Omar Gonzalez, you fully deserved the MVP today.  Thank you for being the general on that back line and cleaning up cross after cross after cross.

Robbie Keane, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Is it March yet?  I’m ready for the next season to begin now!