Attention Kingdomites!

Wait….

Is Kingdomites a word? Kingdom people? People of the Kingdom? All of you wonderful people reading this here post?

Anyway, however you prefer to be addressed, it has come to my attention that I, Revis Edgewater (First Knight of the Matticus Kingdom) have yet to shamelessly promote the new short story that I have published on Amazon called Blackmoon Conquest.

Blackmoon Conquest

It is the sequel to Blackmoon WarMage, which was written about in the Kingdom before.

If you like sword and sorcery fiction, I hope you’ll check it out. Thank you for your time, oh wonderful people of the Kingdom.

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Blackmoon WarMage

Have you read Blackmoon WarMage yet?  Do it!!  Do it now!!!  That’s an official Kingdom directive.  When the First Knight of the Matticus Kingdom publishes a story, I insist that all layal kingdomites go forth, purchase, and read that book.  Furthermore, I require that reviews be left afterwards as feedback for both the author himself and for potential future readers.  So… stop reading this silliness and go read Revis’ book!!

Blackmoon WarMage (Declevon Blackmoon Book 1) by [Hansen, Michael]

VS. Worst Film Adaptation of a Book

Greetings, fellow travelers of the Kingdom. It is I, Revis Edgewater, First Knight of this land and Master of the Versus arena. During the last few bouts in the arena, I’ve asked for your help. I’m here today to do the same.

Normally, when we do these, we put fictional characters up against each other. That’s not what we’re doing today. Instead, we’re putting movies up against each other. Specifically, we’re putting movies based on books/novels against each other.

We want to know which is the worst.

Here’s where we need your help. We need you to comment on what you think the worst movie based on a novel (written word, not graphic) is and give us at least a sentence or two on why you think your choice is the correct choice. The reasons behind your choice can be anything from the movie straying too far from the source material to it just being a bad movie. The choice is yours.

One week from tonight, I will collect all of the entries and create a poll, letting your fellow readers vote on who they agree with.

So, put in your entries, everyone, and let the games begin!

I’m starting to get bruises

You know what happens when the world famous Zombie Killing Rogue Ninja (and First Knight of the Matticus Kingdom) tags you?

You get bruises.

Big ones.

Revis doesn’t have an “easy” setting.  He doesn’t know how to politely tap you on the shoulder and say, “Pardon me, good sir, but I do believe you are now ‘it.'”  No, no, no.  With him it’s all stealth mode, surprise attack, sword brandishing, mayhem bringing, full on ferociousness, without so much as a “How do you do.”

I was helpless to withstand that kind of onslaught…

So, I find myself “it” again…  (Oh, the horror, the horror!)

“And… here… we… go…:”

THE RULES
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you. 
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post. 
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.

5. Go to their blog/Twitter and let them know they’ve been tagged.

……….

1. Done, done, and done.

2. Photo?  No.  Facts?  Ugh, okay…
a. My lucky number is 13.
b. I have a Manchester United jersey that has my name and #13 on it.
c. I look forward to Friday’s that happen to fall on the 13th day of the month.
d. I’m pretty sure I’ve only seen the first of the Friday the 13th series of movies.
e. I got married on the … 18th day of the month.  (You thought I was going to say 13th, didn’t you?  Silly, silly.)
f. The little prince was born on the ….25th day of the month.  (Fooled you again!  Neener, neener, neener.)
g. I don’t have any other #13 stories, sorry.
h. I’ve climbed Mount Whitney 2 times.
i. I have a 35 mile (one way) commute to work.
j. I know why all the other numbers are afraid of #7.  (It’s because 7 ate 9.)
k. I like to stick with themes when answering things like this.  Had you noticed?

3. Questions from Revis and my answers.

  • What movie quote do you use the most?  Seriously?  Of all the movie quotes I use you want to know which one I use the most?  You are really asking me to go through them all and choose one?  I ….  I don’t think I can do that.  But, I’ll do this for you instead:  When camping or backpacking I use, “That’s not a knife,” from Crocodile Dundee the most.  When talking to my brother I use “It’s possible, pig,” from Princess Bride the most.  When trying to make sense of this world I use, “Deserves got nothing to do with it,” from Unforgiven the most.  When just being my silly Jester self I use, “May the Schwartz be with you,” from Spaceballs the most.  When I don’t know the answer to a question I use, “Who knows such things, only the Oracle,” from the Matrix the most.  When heading off on an adventure I use, “Now bring me that horizon,” from Pirates of the Caribbean the most.  I’m going to stop there… but, you get the idea anyway.  Plus, frequent visitors to the kingdom should already be familiar with my Friday Q and A movie quoting madness…
  • Will you go visit MissFourEyes and ask her about her bowel movements for me?  Done.  http://missfoureyes.wordpress.com/about/  But I have no idea why.
  • Did you actually read all of my answers up there?  Um…. no.
  • Did you actually learn anything about me from them?  Yes.
  • What should I know about you that you don’t think I already know? I forgot to mention in my list of geekiness that I won a science award and competed in math tournaments in junior high…
  • If you could pick a theme song for your blog, what would it be?  Depending on the day, I’d probably want to switch between Solar Stone – Seven Cities, Crystal Method – Name of the Game, Bruce Springsteen – Blood Brothers, and Foo Fighters – Home.
  • Did you like the picture of me that I put up?  Not really.
  • What’s worse: someone loudly telling you that they farted in public, or them not telling you and the smell blindsides you?  Being blindsided is always worse.
  • Can you start giving me money so I can quit my job and blog full-time?  No.
  • I know I asked this in one of my RTotD posts, but I really want to know: Why are Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands considered international even though they’re part of the U.S.?  If we knew the answer to that question they’d have to lock us up.
  • You’re walking with a friend at a local store. Your friend starts to scratch their crotch in a very obvious manner. How do you react?  Ask, “Hey, you need a hand with that, or do you have it under control?

4. Questions for the people I’m going to gentle tap on the shoulder… I’m too beat up to do more than that anyway:

1.  If the world were being overrun by zombies, what would be your weapon of choice, and why?
2.  Would you have rather been Butch Cassidy or the Sundance Kid, and why?
3.  Which superhero movie is your least favorite, and why?
4.  What movie can bring you to tears without fail?
5.  Have you ever said, “Oh captain, my captain” to someone?
6.  If you answered “yes” to #5, why did you do it?  If you answered “no” to #5, do you at least know the reference?
7.  If you answered “no” to #5 and “no” to #6, what is your favorite Robin Williams movie?  Otherwise, what is your favorite Mel Brooks movie?
8.  If you gave your favorite Mel Brooks movie in answer to #7, what is your favorite Robin Williams movie?  If you gave your favorite Robin Williams movie in answer to #7, what is your favorite Mel Brooks movie?
9.  Did you see what I just did there?
10.  If you were stranded on a desert island, with a movie player and a big screen TV, and you could only have one movie from each of the following genres, which ones would you want with you?  Drama?  Western?  Comedy?  Action?  Thriller?
11.  Have many of these questions had nothing to do with movies?

5.  I will accomplish this task through the magic of pingbacks.  Look out, you’ve been tagged!

These first three I’m tagging because they tagged Revis, who in turn inflicted this pain on me, so I’m holding them responsible:

Twindaddy
Alice
Miss Four Eyes

The rest I’m tagging because they are awesome and I want to see their answers to my silly questions (Okay, okay, Twindaddy, Alice, and Miss Four Eyes are all awesome too, and I want to know their answers too, but I wanted to point out that all of this is their fault.  So feel free to blame them as well in your posts.):

Moi
Kim
AR Neal

Revis prompts me to ramble about movies

Revis asked: If you could make a sequel to any movie that doesn’t already have one, what would it be, and what would it be about?

I spent a whole lot more time pondering these questions than I thought I would.  With the vast catalog of movies constantly rumbling around in my brain I thought it would be super easy to pick one where the ending had begged for a sequel that had never been delivered.

Unfortunately, as is often the case with the mind of a jester, I went straight to joke answers.  For example:  There should definitely be a sequel to Spiderman 2 (there was, of course, but the third movie was so terrible that I refuse to recognize it.)  Or, there should definitely be a sequel to The Return of the Jedi (while these haven’t been made yet, the rights have been purchased and it is only a matter of time before the next trilogy gets rolled out).  Or, they should definitely make Dragons of Winter Night into a movie…  That one probably means a lot less to most of you, but those who watched the terrible Dragons of Autumn Twilight Movie understand that it really wouldn’t have been good for them to make the sequel – they would need to just start the whole thing over – either with better animators, or with a live action cast.  The story deserves better.

So…  you see, my mind tumbled from one joke answer to the next, which did nothing to help me come up with how to actually respond to Revis’ prompt.

Currently my mind is spinning around all the movies where the ending felt unfinished, hanging, and where I was furious that they had ended the way they did.  Often this happens in most of the anime series I watch – I never like the endings, because they don’t “end” but then they also don’t have any new episodes to continue the story line, leaving me feeling incomplete.  “What happens next?!”  I felt the same way at the end of the Harry Potter series (more the books than the movies), okay great (spoiler alert) the good guys win, but then what?  What adventures does he have after the fact?  I want more!

Still, I think I can do better than that.  I’m going to cut myself off from superhero movies altogether, and movies based on books, and anything that is part of a series already.  Where does that leave me?  What genre should I pick?  Would we want a sequel to So I Married An Axe Murderer?  Would we want a sequel to Contact?  Or Signs?  Or Sixth Sense for that matter?  How about learning what happens after The Day After Tomorrow?  Would we want to know if the love stories worked out in the end with sequels for Notting Hill or Love Actually?  What would the next chapters in Lost in Translation or The Royal Tenenbaums look like?  So many movies, so many unanswered questions, so many story lines that could be.

And now this is getting a bit long so I need to wrap it up… make a choice… get it down and explain it away…  I better reread the prompt:

If you could make a sequel to any movie that doesn’t already have one, what would it be, and what would it be about?

If I could make a sequel to any movie that doesn’t already have one, I would write the next scenes after the final credits rolled on Wall-E.  The movie would tell a tale of Wall-E and EVA helping the humans figure out how to survive on Earth.  The first half would consist of trying to wean people off the ships automated food services as they waited for plants to grow, relinquishing their chairs and getting healthy working in the soil under the sun, and relearning how to communicate face to face, resolve issues, fall in love, etc…  The second half of the movie the characters would face the major problem of having to protect their crops from the raging dust storms, and ward off an attempted mutiny by some of the passengers who didn’t trust that they could survive on Earth and tried to figure out how to get the ship up and fully operational again (including turning AUTO back on).  There would be laughs, and drama, and tears, and a cockroach that never gets squished.

What sequel would you make?  (Make sure you link back to Revis’ post when you answer.)