I’m off…

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings”

“The snow is melting into music.”

“I know that our bodies were made to thrive only in pure air, and the scenes in which pure air is found.”

…..

“The mountains are calling and I must go.”

…..
…..

All the images are mine.  All the words are John Muir’s.  The first 3 quotes are from here.  The final quote is from here.  I’m off the wild places of the world.  Like Muir, they call to me and I must go.

SS Q and A

I know what you are thinking: Matticus, what does SS stand for?  Something Stupid.  Silly Sisters.  Savory Snacks.  There are just so many options!  But, this week, SS stands for Steven Seagal.  That’s right!  Musician, martial arts expert, friend of the environment and terrible actor.  But, that hasn’t stopped me from pulling in several of his movie quotes into my lexicon.

Do you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions?  Or a theme?  Or a specific actor?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: What should you say when someone asks why you are always so serious?
A: “I’d like to make something very clear: I don’t have rage. I’m a happy guy. You see this face? This is a happy face”
– Orin Boyd – Exit Wounds

Q: What should you say to someone who has just insulted you?
A: “I can’t believe you can still eat with that mouth.”
– Det. Gino Fellino – Out for Justice

Q: What should you say when someone asks about the angel and devil that used to sit on your shoulders?
A: “One thought he was invincible… the other thought he could fly.”
– John Hatcher – Marked for Death

Q: What should you say about someone who you’d really like to see six feet under but won’t do it yourself?
A: “I wouldn’t dirty my bullets.”
– Forrest Taft – On Deadly Ground

Q: What should you say when you get pulled over and the cop asks why you were speeding?
A: “Let’s face it, I don’t believe in authority.”
– Jack Taggart – Fire Down Below

*I’d like to take a moment here to remind you all that these are for laughs only and should not be attempted in the real world.  We absolve ourselves of any jail time or other consequences should you actually insult an officer when you have been pulled over.*

Q: What should you say to your daughter when she first starts talking about boys?
A: “No dating until you are 40.”
– Dr. Wesley McClaren – The Patriot

Q: What should you say to a random girl you find yourself having drinks with at a bar?
A: “You’re Machete’s girl. I know, cause you’re his type.”
– Rogelio Torrez – Machete

Q: What should you say when you didn’t do as well at something as you wanted to?
A: “Number 4? I wanna be number 1.”
– Nico Toscani – Above the Law

Q: What should you say when someone asks what you are good at?
A: “I’m just a cook”
– Casey Ryback – Under Siege

Q: What should you say when playing chess with someone and they’ve left themselves open for checkmate?
A: “’Cause if that’s the best you got, I’m just gonna have to kill you.”
– Lt. Jack Cole – The Glimmer Man

………

Do you have an actor you love to hate?  Someone you agree is terrible but that you still watch all their movies anyway?  I bet you do.  But, really, who can argue with a martial arts action flick… they are just so much fun!  Here there be cooks and cops, black bets and rock stars, and glimmering, lots and lots of glimmering, and, as always, a monster.  Thanks for playing along.

Q (Forrest) and A (Gump)

This week’s theme is fairly evident, if you haven’t figured it out just based on the post title, it’s all quotes from Forrest Gump.  This series was thrown together based on a request from Merry aka Marlene.

Do you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions?  Or a theme?  Or a specific actor?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: What should you say when you find yourself in a scary situation?
A: “Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here.”
– Young Jenny Curran (Hanna Hall)

Q: What should you say when someone asks what your purpose is?
A: “To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

Q: What should you say when your wife asks you to mow the lawn?
A: “And cause I was a gazillionaire, and I liked doin it so much, I cut that grass for free.”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

Q: What should you say when you to the public pool?
A: “I’m here to try out my sea legs.”
– Lieutenant Daniel Taylor (Gary Sinise)

Q: What should you say when someone asks why you don’t have a car?
A: “Now you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows.”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

Q: What should you say when you hear about a bad person getting away with an evil deed?
A: “Sometimes, I guess there just aren’t enough rocks.”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

Q: What should you say when you don’t want to talk about something?
A: “That’s all I have to say about that.”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

Q: What should you say just before it is your turn to pick up the next round at the bar?
A: “I’m pretty tired… I think I’ll go home now.”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

Q: What should you say to the various religious groups that come knocking on your front door?
A: “You can’t keep trying to rescue me all the time.”
– Jenny Curran (Robin Wright)

Q: What should you say to your sweetheart when she asks why you are always so good to her?
A: “You’re my girl!”
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

………

I could watch this movie every day and I would never tire of it.  I find that is true of most Tom Hanks films.  And you?  Did you love this one or find it too cheesy, too over the top, too in your face?  I use several of these quotes on a weekly basis, I bet you can guess which one I use the most.  Here there be fast running, shrimping, love, rebellion, war, and life which may or may not be a monster.  Thanks for playing along.

Q and A Redemption

This week’s theme is fairly evident, if you haven’t figured it out just based on the post title, it’s all quotes from The Shawshank Redemption.  This series was thrown together based on a request from Behind the Mask of Abuse.

Do you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions?  Or a theme?  Or a specific actor?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: What do you say when you are about to attempt your first black diamonds of the season at your favorite ski resort?
A: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
– Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins)

Q: What do you say to your friend who is about to attempt their first black diamonds of the season?
A: “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
– Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins)

Q: What do you say when someone asks where you are going?
A: “Zihuatanejo.”
– Red (Morgan Freeman)

Q: What do you say when someone has told you a whopper of a lie?
A: “I have to say that’s the most amazing story I’ve ever heard.”
– Warden Samuel Norton (Bob Gunton)

Q: What should you say on the off chance that someone asks if you want to play chess?
A: “The man likes to play chess; let’s get him some rocks.”
– Red (Morgan Freeman)

Q: What should you ask the person in the car in front of you that just cut you off, without using a turn signal, going 15 miles under the speed limit, while talking on their cell phone?
A: “What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?”
– Captain Hadley (Clancy Brown)

Q: What should you say to your friend that just successfully made it to the bottom of their first black diamond run of the season?
A: “Well, I’ll be damned. Did I say you were good? Shit, you’re a Rembrandt!”
– Red (Morgan Freeman)

Q: What should you say when approaching the warming station at the midway point of your favorite ski resort?
A: “Salvation lies within.”
– Warden Samuel Norton (Bob Gunton)

Q: What should yous ay when you are lacing up your snow boots getting ready to spend the day on the mountain?
A: “I find I’m so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.”
– Red (Morgan Freeman)

Q: What should you say when someone asks for your help trying to find something?
A: “I’m known to locate certain things from time to time.”
– Red (Morgan Freeman)

………

Sorry, I had snow on the brain when I put this together.  The coming fall means the coming of snowbaord season.  And it was such a hot late summer that I can’t wait to cool off in the snow this winter.  Shawshank is one of my favorite movies and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t already included it in a previous Q and A post.  I use several of these quotes on a weekly basis.  How about you?  Here there be innocents and one guilty person, along with several monsters.  Thanks for playing along.

Silver Q and A

And on and on we go, tackling moves that punch above their weight, only this time I will try not to offend anyone…

Maybe…

(Not sure what’s going on, start here and all* of life’s mysteries will be revealed to you.)

*I highly doubt this is a factual statement, but strangers things have happened.

Let’s see what I’ve learned and used from “Silverado.”

It’s me.  You knew I’d have to do a western at some point…

Q: What should you say when you realize you should stop before you do something foolish?
A: “Today, my jurisdiction ends here. Pick up my hat.”
– Sheriff Langston (John Cleese)

Q: What should you say when someone doesn’t believe you will keep your word?
A: “Well, if we don’t you can keep my brother.”
– Emmett (Scott Glenn)

Q: What you should you say to your closest friends every chance you get?
A: “You know, hangin’ around with you is no picnic.”
– Paden (Kevin Kline)

Q: What should you say when someone asks the best time to reach you?
A: “I’m always there, but I only shine at night.”
– Stella (Linda Hunt)

Q: What should you say when someone is pestering you, a telemarketer for example?
A: “I got things to do, kid, I’m a busy man.”
– Jake (Kevin Costner)

Q: What should you say when you’ve caught someone in the act of doing something you aren’t very happy about?
A: “We’re gonna give you a fair trial, followed by a first class hanging.”
– Cobb (Brian Dennehy)

Q: What should you say when you are about to start a neighborhood block party?
A: “I got my people down there throwin’ snowballs and rarin’ to go.”
– Hobart (Brion James)

Q: What should you say when you get home from work and you are handed the honey-do list?
A: “I wanted a drink and a bed. I guess I came to the wrong place.”
– Mal (Danny Glover)

Q: What should you say when someone asks what you want out of life?
A: “I want to build something. Make things grow. That takes hard work. A lifetime of it. That’s not why a man comes to a pretty woman. After a while I won’t be so pretty. But this land will be.”
– Hannah (Rosanna Arquette)

Q: What should you say when you walk into the employment office to look for a job?
A: “Excuse me, Sheriff, I’m a gambler who’d like to run an honest game in your town. To whom do I speak about that?”
– Slick (Jeff Goldblum)

………

To prove the point of how awesome this movie is I only used one quote from each character.  Did you see those names?  Jeff Goldblum, Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner, Danny Glover, John Cleese…  This movie is fantastic.  Here there be gun battles, love, devotion, bravery, chivalry, and all kinds of western bravado including more than a few monsters.  Thanks for playing along.