Q and A for everything

It’s all starting to slip away from me.  Slip and slide?  Slide down?  Down and out?  Out and about?  Just about enough of that silliness.

I’m not sure whether or not there is a theme this week.  I’ll let you all be the judge of that.

Late to the party?  Unsure of what’s going on and what the proper etiquette for the occasion is?  You can find all of your answers here.  (Except, of course, for the answers you will find below… and even more so of course for 42… which is the answer to everything, but you already knew that, right?  42.  See, it always works.)

On to the silliness:

Over the long and/or short years of my jestering, and movie watching, life, I’ve incorporated movie dialogue into my day-to-day lingo.  Sometimes I’ve found instances where those quotes fit nicely into situations I’ve found myself in.  Maybe these will come in handy for you at some point too.

Q: (This one’s pretty obvious.)  What should you say when some one owes you a “thank you?”
A: “I said you could thank me later. It’s later, Bert.”
– Leigh Anne Touhy (Sandra Bullock) – The Blind Side

Q: What should you say after someone has burped or farted in your vicinity?
A: “You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.”
– Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) – When Harry Met Sally

Q: (This one is also obvious.)  What should you say when someone calls you a cynic?
A: “I’m not a cynic, I’m a realist!”
– Sara (Eva Mendes) – Hitch

Q: What should you say when you want to sound philosophical?
A: “I’ve lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I’ve learned: Fate doesn’t decide everything. People get to choose.”
– Mary Embrey (Charlize Theron) – Hancock

Q: What should you say after someone has saved your life?
A: “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful… but what are you doing hanging around?”
– Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) – Dogma

Q: (I have no idea what it means and didn’t bother to look it up.)  What should you say when you want to sound smart?
A: “He’s so impetuous.”
– Rita Escobar (Salma Hayek) – Wild Wild West

Q: What should say… well, I think this is another one you can just use your imagination for and come up with your own scenario.  (It’s a real gem.)
A: “Uh-huh, and that’d be the tall one or the short one?”
– Julie Mott (Tea Leoni) – Bad Boys

Q: What should you say when you want to get under someone’s skin?
A: “You seem nervous. Do I make you nervous, Isaac?”
– Luisa Rey (Halle Berry) – Cloud Atlas

Q: What should you answer when someone asks what you like to read?
A: “I usually read history books. They’re long and cheap and usually about men killing each other.”
– Amelia (Catherine Zeta-Jones) – The Terminal

Q: (Um, duh!)  What should you say when you are asked about any of the gentlemen in your life?
A: “Men are shameless.”
– Skylar (Minnie Driver) – Good Will Hunting

………

So, there might be a theme, but just a broad one, and nothing really specific about the quotes.  Did you catch that?  Broad?  Is that even an term that is used anymore?  I have no idea.  They don’t teach us those sorts of things in Jester School.  Anyway, here there be women, lasses, ladies, girls, gals, broads and monsters.  Thanks for playing along.

Redford Newman Q and A

After last week’s Johnny Depp post (and the Val Kilmer and John Candy posts before that one), I decided to continue on the one actor theme but with a slight twist this week.  Rather than my typical “Q” that is a situation you may find yourself in, and the resulting “A” quote, this week we will be doing two (or three) lines: one from Robert Redford and one from Paul Newman.  You’ll understand once you start going through them.

Confused?  Lost?  Filled with angst?  Not sure where you are, what’s going on, and why everyone is laughing?  Well, I can’t help with any of that, but I can point you here just for the heck of it.

As you read these – let your imagine roam, and see where you might be tempted to use them in your life: situations you’ve already lived through, people you’ve dealt with, etc…  I’ve used all or part of every single one of these back and forths:

Butch: “[low voice, to Sundance] Listen, I don’t mean to be a sore loser, but when it’s done, if I’m dead, kill him.”
Sundance: “[low voice, to Butch] Love to.”

…..

Sundance: “I can’t swim.”
Butch: “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.”

…..

Sundance: “Hey, Butch?”
Butch: “What?”
Sundance: “They’re very good.”

…..

Sundance: “What I’m saying is, if you want to go, I won’t stop you. But the minute you start to whine or make a nuisance, I don’t care where we are, I’m dumping you flat.”
Butch: “Don’t sugarcoat it like that, Kid. Tell her straight.”

…..

Sundance: “Which way?”
Butch: “It doesn’t matter. I don’t know where we’ve been and I’ve just been there.”

– Butch (Paul Newman) / Sundance (Robert Redford) – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Johnny Hooker: “‘S good. He threatened to kill me.”
Henry Gondorff: “Hell, kid, they don’t do that, you know you’re not getting to ’em.”

…..

Johnny Hooker: “He’s not as tough as he thinks.”
Henry Gondorff: “Neither are we.”

…..

Henry Gondorff: “You not gonna stick around for your share?”
Johnny Hooker: “Nah. I’d only blow it.”

…..

Henry Gondorff: “Is Lonnegan after you too?”
Johnny Hooker: “I dunno… I ain’t seen anybody.”
Henry Gondorff: “You never do, kid.”

– Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) / Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman) – The Sting

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Bonus Q and A’s just because I want to.

Q: What do you say about someone who has retired after a long career?
A: “She had worked both ends against the middle for so long, the middle decided to give up and go home. ”
– Nathan Muir (Robert Redford) – Spy Game

Q: What do you say when someone asks what code you live by?
A: “A man of honor always pays his debts… and keeps his word.”
– John Rooney (Paul Newman) – Road to Perdition

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Also, I’m giving away one million Matticus Kingdom points to the first person who can tell me what “Setec Astronomy” means.

That’s right.  One.  Million.

………

Redford and Newman are probably two of my favorite actors, and the films they appear in together definitely are near the top of my favorites chart.  It seemed fitting to call them out here after touching on Val Kilmer and Johnny Depp in previous weeks – they are all fine character actors.  Here there be legends.  That says it all.  Thanks for playing along.

Depp into Q and A

After last week’s Val Kilmer silliness (and based in large part on one of the comments), I decided to continue on the one actor theme this week as well.  We all can agree that Johnny Depp is a truly talented character actor… and, this post is all about him.

All previous Q and A madness, silliness, humorousness and other assorted “ness”ness can be found here.

Over the years I’ve incorporated some movie dialogue into my day-to-day lingo.  What follows are some situations and the Johnny Depp quotes I might use in response.

Q: What should you say when you find that you are unable to “participate” because it violates your personal code of ethics?
A: “Morality sucks.”
– Glen Lantz – A Nightmare on Elm Street

Q: What should you say to everyone you know, frequently?
A: “You’re weird, man.”
– Lerner – Platoon

Q: What should you say when someone asks why you do the things you do?
A: “I’m not finished.”
– Edward Scissorhands – Edward Scissorhands

Q: What do you say when someone asks what’s wrong with you?
A: “Because, you know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she’s pretty normal.”
-Sam – Benny and Joon

Q: What do you say when someone asks what you want most out of life?
A: “I wanna be a good person.”
– Gilbert – What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

Q: What do you say to someone who says, “You must be crazy?”
A: “I would say that he has a rather limited and uncreative way of looking at the situation.”
– Don Juan – Don Juan DeMarco

Q: What do you say to someone who says you are hiding something?
A: “You think I’m a rat…?”
– Donnie Brasco – Donnie Brasco

Q: What do you say when someone asks where you are headed next?
A: “Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak, in the freak kingdom.”
– Raoul Duke – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

(I thought that one was especially fitting… “freak kingdom.”)

Q: What do you say to someone who wants to start hanging around with you?
A: “I should probably warn ya: you make friends with us, you make enemies with everyone else.”
– Roux – Chocolat

Q: What should you say when someone asks how you can go through life without any goals, resolutions, etc…?
A: “Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it”
– George Jung – Blow

How many of these have you seen?  What is your favorite Johnny Depp role?  Who do you want to see me do a Q and A post about?

………

I’m not really sure how many of these I’ve done, but it’s odd that I’m just now wondering if I should be attributing the quotes to the writer rather than the actor.  Has anyone else noticed that?  Thoughts?  Anyway, never forget, here there be bread that dances, monsters with and without scissors for hands, and other assorted greatness, but not a single pirate, lizard, or tea party throwing hatter.  Thanks for playing along.

Poorly Reviewed Q and A

Has anyone noticed that I’m just putting the theme for these posts right there in the title for everyone to see?

And while I’m not running out of quotes (that will never happen), I am running out of creative ways to say: “Hey, you can find all the previous Q and A silliness with this link right here.”

Anyway, enough of that silliness, let’s get on with it, shall we:  Over the years I’ve incorporated some movie dialogue into my day-to-day lingo.  Sometimes those quotes can even come from movies that have been universally panned.  Maybe I’m just a sucker for a flick on the silver screen, but I can usually find some redeeming qualities from every movie I watch.

Q: What should you say when you are about to get all preachy with someone?
A: “Let’s have an intelligent conversation here: I’ll talk, and you listen.”
– Deacon (Dennis Hopper) – Waterworld

Q: What should you say to someone who always makes you feel better?
A: “You give out hope like it was candy in your pocket.”
– Abby (Olivia Williams) – The Postman

Q: What should you say to someone after they use a pun?
A: “Oh, don’t make jokes; I’m serious.”
– Kira (Olivia Newton-John) – Xanadu

Q: What should you say when someone tells you to calm down?
A: “I can’t be calm! Oh, no, no, no, no, I’m the “Master of the Mechanical Stuff”! And I have to help you! You, the master of the STUPID STUFF!”
– Artemus Gordon (Kevin Kline) – Wild Wild West

Q: What do you say when nobody else wants to do what you want to do?
A: “But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.”
– Julian (Dylan Sprouse) – Big Daddy

Q: What do you say when…  Well, actually, you should probably never seriously say this one, but what should you say when you want to be silly after going someplace new?
A: “Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?”
– Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger) – Last Action Hero

Q: What do you say before embarking on a dangerous adventure?
A: “If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer.”
– Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) – Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Q: What should you say to motivate someone to do their best?
A: “Do it for the butterflies!”
– Valerie (Patricia Arquette) – Little Nicky

Q: What do you respond with when someone asks what you are going to do with your life?
A: “Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.”
– Joe Dirt (David Spade) – Joe Dirt

Q: What do you say to someone who doesn’t clean their plate?
A: “If you don’t eat them now, they’ll be waiting here for you at dinner.”
-Tutti Bomowski (Estelle Getty) – Stop or My Mom Will Shoot

I know that one kind of goes without saying, but I still think it’s funny.

………

All of these either received Razzies or didn’t fare well with the whole Rotten Tomatoes thing or I just remember getting a lot of flack from the critics.  Hmm, I wonder if I would make a good critic.  Well, probably not if I like every movie, and from the number of quotes I’ve got bouncing around in my head it sure seems like I do.  Oh well.  Thanks again for playing along, even with this sad lot.  And never forget, here there be monsters, and really really really terrible movies, alrighty then.

Inconceivable!

Really?  Really, WordPress?  Really?

It’s inconceivable that you think I could narrow down the movies that I enjoy to pick a favorite.  I could pick a favorite twenty-five, maybe… in one genre… that I’ve watched recently.  And that would just be the first twenty-five I could think of.  After hitting publish I would think of least five more I should have included.

It’s inconceivable that if I were somehow able to pick one movie that I could then pick one line from that movie.  If you are a follower of my silliness you’ll already know that every Friday I’ve been putting together a post that is full of quotes from movies.  There are just too many good lines to select only one.

It’s inconceivable that I could play along today.  Not even with “my brains, his steel, and your strength.”  Not even if it were “as you wish” it were.  Not even if it were necessary to survive the terrors of the fire swamp.  Not even if it were the only way to survive the machine.

It’s just all too inconceivable!

Then again, maybe that word doesn’t mean what I think it means.

And, in any case, I guess I have played along.  I’m silly like that.  I am the jester, after all.