And the winner is…

A few weeks ago, I asked all you wonderful kingdomites to join in a game of blogosphere tug-of-war…  In this addition, the contest was between Team Coke and Team Pepsi.

I should have realized that something was amiss when the first backer came in to support the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group (it’s a thing, I promise)….

And then, for a time, the game dissolved into chaos.  Bloggers were tugging in every which way, and I thought it was going to have to be abandoned altogether.

But then!!!  But then Team Coke showed up, and heaved, and pulled, and tugged, and won in a landslide.

Unfortunately, our official kingdom tally keeper quit, so I don’t have the exact numbers for you.

You’ll just have to take my word for it.

Hey, I’m a Jester.  You can definitely trust me.  Definitely.  I assure you.  Believe me.

Thank you to all the players and CONGRATULATIONS to Team Coke, who once and for all have decided the age old battle of the sodas, colas, pops, carbonated sugary drinks of deliciousness…

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Support Your “Local” Author

Local, as in you are all my faithful kingdomites, right?  Right!

Nothing says, “I love what you write,” like buying an author’s book.  As luck would have it, I happen to have a fun book ready for you to buy right here: The Erratic Sun

The Erratic Sun - Cover

Yep, just click the link, select Kindle or paperback, add it to your cart, check out, and then enjoy the heck out of it when it shows up in your mailbox.

And then do you know what says, “I love you more than the rest?”  Writing a review or two (or forty-two) and leaving them all over the internet for other people to find.

Did you need that link again?  Buy my book here, here, here, and here.

Or…

You could buy a signed copy of the book by sending $20 to me via: PayPal

If you decide to go that route, send me an email (djmatticus @ yahoo dot com) to let me know so we can talk inscription for the autograph and so I can get the address you want it shipped to.  (Also, some restrictions apply.  That price is for US only.  I’ll happily ship anywhere in the world I’m allowed to, but I’ll need to factor in the appropriate costs if you are in Azerbaijan.  Again, when in doubt or if you have any questions, just shoot me an email and we will figure it out together.)

Happy reading!

 

A Jesterly Challenge to Challenge the Jester

IMG_20150808_1329330_rewind

The writer, the scribe, the teller of tales, the spinner of magic, the Belle in a box?  Perhaps.

Last week, in response to a post called Wandering Spirits, an idea occurred to me while responding to the very nice comment left by Aul, aka Dominic.  The basic premise is: can you stump me?

November is nearly upon us, and that means Nano Poblano madness.  I hadn’t thought it possible for me to post every day next month as part of those festivities, but… what if you all sent me prompts?  Maybe then, if I had enough time to write and schedule ahead of time, I could actually participate.

So…

The gauntlet has been thrown:  Is there anything I can’t write about?  Let’s find out.  In the comments leave a topic and a style that you either want me to tackle because you’d like to see what I come up with, or that you think I’ll struggle with and want to laugh at what I come up with.

Examples:  Magic / Poem, Politics / Haiku, Astrophysics / Flash Fiction, and so on and so forth.

Okay?

Comments left first will be answered first.  First comment will be answered on November 1st, Second on the 2nd, etc…

Have fun with it.  Leave me a challenge.  Leave me something silly.  Leave me whatever you fancy.  And I’ll turn it into a post, and hopefully we’ll all have a bit of fun.  Sound good?

Let’s begin.

A Thank You To All

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you to everyone who played along with our silliness. Thank you for everyone who read, and commented, and even wrote their own additions to the storyline. And thank you to Revis, who wrote all the funny parts, all the action scenes, and all the plot twists. The story itself was even his idea! Honestly… I’m not sure what I contributed at all. Anyway, if you enjoyed the Save the Kingdom series make sure you show some love to all the guests who made it that much more special!

33 Grams of Blog

As you know, Matticus and I just finished up a story in which we saved his Kingdom from sparkly vampires. Along the way, we ran into many of our fellow bloggers. These are all amazing people. Not only did they make the writing process fun, they were also very good sports about the whole thing.

There are a few of our fellow bloggers who we would like to give extra special thanks to:

First and foremost, we’d like to thank Goldfish for agreeing to be our villain. Every good story needs a good villain, and you were the best, my fishy friend.

We’d also like to give thanks to Faithhopechocolate, who took the time to write her own story about the happenings in the Kingdom. Your adventure is a welcome addition to the Kingdom’s legends.

Last in this category, but certainly not least, is another blogger who was awesome…

View original post 133 more words

Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom, Chapter 33

Matticus didn’t have time to check on his Knight.  He had to hope that Revis’ cry of pain didn’t mean he’d lost the duel, and didn’t mean that Goldfish would have the energy and mental strength to cast a spell that could repel his attack.

His anger fueled his legs.  The miles that he and Revis had crossed no longer weighed them down.  The atrocities they had witnessed and the battles they’d fought gave him purpose.  The belief that the end of the war, that the kingdom would once again be safe, gave him renewed purpose, and he closed the distance with a speed he hadn’t know he was capable of.

Brandishing his sword, Matticus prepared to strike Goldfish with the flat of the blade.  He was happy to see her eyes go wide with surprise as he began to bring the swing around.  Just before his attacking blow landed, he had a moment of doubt.

He should have saved something in reserve in case she was able to defend the first attack.  It was too late, though.  His rage and speed had taken him too far to change tactics.  In a heartbeat he would know if the attack had been a mistake or not.

A bright light flashed as his sword was stopped by an invisible sphere surrounding the sorceress. The force of the blow allowed the sphere to be seen by all in the room. Sharp, shrieking voices cried out as cracks started appearing in the mystical shield. Then, the voices erupted all at once as the magic holding the sphere together exploded.

Matticus opened his eyes to find that he was now halfway across the throne room.  His ears were ringing and his head now pounded. As he raised himself up onto his hands and knees, he saw that Goldfish had been thrown by the blast, as well. She was making her way off the floor, looking around for the one person who was unaccounted for.

Revis was nowhere to be seen.

The Jester knew he needed to keep Goldfish occupied so his Knight could do whatever he needed to do. All he had to do was clear his head first. So, he tried to shake the cobwebs out as he finished getting to his feet.  His head wasn’t completely clear, but he didn’t have time to wait until it was.

He charged at the sorceress, with his sword held high, as he shouted his battle cry, “SPOON!”

“What the ….,” Goldfish’s jaw dropped.  In the face of the Jester’s ridiculous charge she almost lost her nerve and froze.  But, she regained her composure with enough time to calmly side-step Matticus.

“That’s your battle cry?”  She mocked with a mixture of disbelief and rage.  Equal parts laughter and fire danced behind her bewitching eyes.

Having turned around to once again face the sorceress, panting after the exertion, his head still throbbing from the blast seconds before, Matticus took a moment to steady himself.  “Of course…  A spoon is dull.  When I land a blow it will hurt more than you think.”

Goldfish rolled her eyes.  “Before I kill you.  Do you have anything original to say, or are you just going to quote others?”

As she taunted the Jester she kept scanning the room looking for any sign of movement so she could get a fix on the Knight.  It was frustrating her, and scaring her, that she couldn’t see through whatever magical means he was using to stay hidden.  At the same time she was frantically rebuilding her warding shields.

Matticus leveled his sword at Goldfish, the flames flared along the razor sharp edge, dancing in the swirling air currents of the room.  “Your reign of terror is nearly at an end, Fishie.”

Goldfish began moving her hands in the beginnings of one of her spells when her eyes suddenly got big. Revis appeared out of the shadows behind her, stabbing both of his daggers at her heart. The blades were slightly deflected by the few wards the sorceress enacted, but they still sank deeply into Goldfish’s back. Injured, the mermaid sank to the ground.

“How,” she asked the Knight in confusion. “I would’ve seen you if you turned yourself invisible.”

With a smirk, Revis replied, “That’s why I didn’t turn myself invisible.” When neither Goldfish or Matticus seemed to understand what he was getting at, he continued, “What do you think I did before I got the ring? I hid in the shadows of the room. I became invisible without actually becoming invisible. Just because I haven’t had to do it since I got the ring doesn’t mean I forgot how to do it.”

Revis knelt down next to the sorceress and put his blades up to her throat. “It’s time to end this,” he stated, preparing to strike.

“Wait” Matticus commanded.

The Knight raised an eyebrow at the Jester, but did as he was told and stayed his hand.

“Do we have to kill her?”

“As long as she is living she will be a threat to the kingdom, a threat to my daughter, a threat to the little prince.  Yes, we have to kill her.”

Matticus frowned and bit his lip.  “Isn’t there a way we can send her through the portals and trap her in a different world, a phantom zone, or something like that?”

“A phantom zone?” Revis mused.  “That’s an interesting idea, and it may be feasible.  But, why don’t we just kill her and then we don’t have to worry about her or her antics ever again?  She’s caused enough mayhem, the punishment fits the crimes she has committed.”

“But…”

“But?”

“Well, it just seems wrong to kill her for some reason.”

Goldfish let out a cackling laugh of derision, “Don’t want to get your hands dirty Jester.  You have no problem ruling the kingdom but you don’t actually know what it takes to rule successfully.  I could have made your kingdom ten times greater than you’d ever imagined.”

Revis pressed a little more firmly on the blades and Goldfish went silent again.  Then the Knight looked expectantly at Matticus, waiting for the word that would allow him to dispatch the sorceress one way or another. The decision was taken out of their hands, however.

With a cry of pain, Goldfish’s eyes rolled up into her head. Then, her body turned into fog and slowly faded away, leaving behind only a pool of blood from where the Knight had stabbed her. The Jester turned to Revis and asked, “That’s an awful lot of blood. Do you think we killed her?”

“I don’t know,” Revis answered honestly. “I’d like to think we ended the threat of Goldfish, but I’m not sure. This may just be another one of her tricks.”

The two men stood back to back, on the lookout for a reemergence of their foe, while gathering up their strength. Suddenly, the door burst open. Deb ran in, stopping right in front of Matticus. “Jester,” she began, out of breath, “You did it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what you two did, but it worked. All of the sparkly vampires disappeared right in front of our eyes a few minutes ago.”

“They’re all gone?”

“All of the ones in the castle are. The dragons said that they’ve received some magical communications saying that the sparkly vampires are disappearing from all over the kingdom.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Matticus looked at his Knight. “We did it, Revis. We finally did it. The Kingdom is finally back to the way it should be.”

The Jester motioned for Revis to follow him. As they walked towards  a balcony that overlooked the area around the castle, Revis said, “I hate to break your jubilant mood, but you realize that she may be back, right?”

“Yeah,” Matticus replied with a smile, “but I’m not going to dwell on that now. I’m just going to take joy in the fact that the kingdom is safe for now and this adventure is over.”

The two men, having reached the balcony, looked out at the horizon. In the distance, they could see the dragons, Rara and Grayson, flying free. For some reason, even though they had saved the entire kingdom, that seemed to be the most right thing of all.