Revis and Matticus save the Kingdom, Chapter 15

For the first few seconds after he went through the portal, all Revis was able to see was a bright light. When he was finally able to see something else, he found himself looking at the angry face of Matticus. “Why did you do that,” the Jester demanded. “And what took you so long in following?”

“What are you talking about,” Revis asked innocently. “I stepped through the portal right after you.”

Matticus didn’t believe that for a second, but he was so grateful that he was no longer alone that he let it go….for now.

Revis turned his attention away from his companion and began surveying their surroundings.  The walls of the small room were made of dry mud. A white door, made out of some material that he had never seen before, was the only other thing in the room. Not knowing what else to do, Revis went to inspect the door. He was wondering how he was going to open it, as it had no handle on it, when it opened by itself.

The Knight took his daggers out and looked for whoever had just opened the door. When no threat made itself apparent, Revis took a cautious step back, thinking that they were dealing with someone else who could turn invisible. As he stepped back, the door closed. An idea struck him. He stepped forward again and watched as the door opened back up.

“Is that some sort of trick?”  Matticus asked as he took a step closer to the door.  “Have you pulled something else out from your bag of wonders?”

“No, the door is opening and closing on it’s own,” Revis replied, scratching his cheek in thought.  “It must have some magical charm on it.”

Matticus looked askance at his Knight and then the door.  He didn’t like the idea of trusting sorcery in a world he wasn’t familiar with, especially when whoever probably controlled that magic was also responsible for sending the sparkly vampires into his kingdom.  “Well, we’re here, some of us for longer than others, now what do we do?”

“Come on,” Revis said as he sheathed his daggers and stepped towards the doorway to have the opening appear again, “let’s see what’s on the other side.”

With that, the Knight stepped out of the small room.  Matticus cringed as Revis crossed the threshold, fully expecting there to be a trap or for the door to close again on his companion.  When nothing happened, he quickly followed Revis through the door, with a little skip over the threshold just in case there was a trigger his Knight had been somehow lucky enough to miss the first time through.

The room they stepped into was constructed in the same manner as the one they just left. It was just bigger and had furniture, including a bed, table, and storage chest. Revis wanted to open the chest to see what was inside, but it was locked. Normally, that wouldn’t have stopped him, but this lock was unlike anything he had ever seen. Strange glowing symbols covered the lock plate. He reached out to touch one of the symbols.

“Are you crazy,” Matticus scolded. “You don’t know what will happen if you touch that.”

“That’s why I’m going to touch it: to see what will happen when I do.”

“This is a wizard’s domain. Those symbols could mean a magical trap.”

Revis was about to argue further when they heard something coming from the outside of the other door in the room. He pointed at the door they had just come from. As quickly, and quietly, as they could, they walked back through the door. Just as the door closed, they heard the other one open. A loud crash soon followed it. That’s when they heard a man yelling.

“What an idiot,” the man hollered. “Those were the droids we were looking for, you moron!”

“What’s a droid,” Matticus whispered.

His Knight ignored him and went back to listening to what was happening in the other room. He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like the man was talking to himself.

“What’s a nerfherder?”  Matticus whispered again.

The man in the other room was ranting so loudly about something idiotic his Captain had done that there wasn’t any concern that the Jester’s whispered questions would be overheard, but Revis silenced Matticus with a glare anyway.  The jester shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes.  He knew that Revis had no idea what was going on or what their next should be either.

Though, if the man yelling in the other room was the person they were looking for, and was a magician of sorts as well, Matticus was loathe to confront him until he had settled down.  Magicians, he had learned, were volatile at the best of times, and irate ones were best to be avoided at all costs.

The Jester was, therefore, mortified as he saw Revis step towards the magic door again as the noise from the other room begin to dwindle down.  He reached out for his Knight, trying to grab hold of the man’s armor and halt his progress, but Revis eluded his grasp.

The door swept open, and the man from the other side said, “What?  Who’s there?  Show yourself or I’ll blast you!”

The threat of being blasted confirmed that the man was indeed a magician and as Revis stepped through the door, Matticus followed knowing that they were about to enter a foray they had little hope of winning.

With his hands up, trying to be as nonthreatening as possible, Revis stepped into view of the other man. It was indeed the man with shiny bone armor. In his hands, he held the most peculiar looking magic wand that Revis had ever seen. Suddenly, red fire shot out of the end of it. The fire went a foot wide of the Knight’s head and left a scorch mark on the wall behind him.

With a voice that sounded surprisingly different than the one he was using before, the man swore, “Dammit!” He began ripping his helmet off as he muttered, “The targeting system in this thing blows. No wonder my squadmates can’t hit anything.”

By the time he had finished removing the helmet, Revis had closed the distance between them and was holding his daggers at the man’s throat. “I could kill you with a twitch,” Revis threatened.

“Try it,” the man responded, showing that he had the wand held at the Knight’s stomach.

Matticus watched it all unfold as his eyes went from the smoking smudge on the wall to the wand held against his knight.  He wasn’t sure what a targeting system was, or what that had to do with the magician’s ability to perform his magic, but he knew that Revis had little hope of surviving a magical blast from that range.

At least they were at a standoff, if Revis moved the man in the bone white armor would surely unleash a devastating spell, and if the magician moved then Revis would quickly dispatch him.  That meant that Matticus was free to tip the balance back into their favor.  He just had no idea how to do it.

He considered pulling his flaming sword and using it as a distraction to draw the sorcerer’s attention and hope that Revis could break away from the wand, but the weapon was too close.  He couldn’t risk it.  He considered trying to talk the men out of their current situation but didn’t have the best track record with that sort of thing.  The seconds seemed to stretch for hours and the Jester’s mind raced from idea to idea.

“This is stupid,” he muttered as he launched himself at the pair.

“What?”  The magician caught sight of the mid-air Jester and his hand jerked slightly away from Revis to brace himself against the impact.

At the same moment, Revis activated his magic ring and turned invisible.

The blaster fired, filling the air with a surge of electric power.

Guest Post: Gordon Flanders heralds the coming of Spring

Gordon, from Anyone’s Ghost, agreed to do a guest post for me.  He has a very stream of consciousness, conversational, style of writing that I find captivating.  He blends humor, and the truth, and insight in a very powerful way and today he is here to talk about Spring:

I generally write about somewhat depressing things because I generally
find myself depressed, but whenever I come to The Matticus Kingdom I
feel a little better about life. So I thought in tribute I would write
something happy about spring.

In spring there are flowers and people smile at nothing. They wear
less clothing. They try to pretend like they’re not cold when they sit
outside drinking Mexican beer at the new patios that are turning up at
all the cool restaurants. They go to the gas station and buy propane
and hope they don’t blow up.

Spring is easy to miss sometimes. Especially in a place like
Washington, DC where it only lasts a week. You walk outside to all the
dead trees and you don’t think a thing about it, you walk a little
while and look up and all the sudden there’s green everywhere and
you’ve missed it and soon enough it will all be gone again. Just
another year in the life.

This spring I’m in Boston and I’m trying to notice. It’s really
fascinating to watch the changes in the plants. How they hibernate
through the winter, or even die, so that they look like they’ll be
dead forever, then they come back to life.

What if we only lived a year? Like if we were just dropped on the
Earth fully functional and then taken back after a year. The seasons
would really freak us out. I guess in some places there aren’t any
changes in the seasons, or at least not dramatic ones. Like San Diego
or the tropics. I wonder what subtle differences there are between
people who live in places without seasons versus people who experience
the changes.

I just had a thought but I forgot what. There is a squirrel outside
eating and darting around. Oh. I remember I was going to say that it’s
crazy to think that the seasons change only because the distance
between the Earth and the Sun changes. I wonder what Kepler thought
was the cause of the seasons. He was always trying to prove that the
orbit of the planets was perfectly spherical. I wonder if the Earth
will heat up so much in the next hundred years that there will be no
spring or fall anywhere. Just extremes, like in DC.

Ah but for now it doesn’t matter, because anyway what is time but some
vast tumultuous ocean that washes over us in such a way that we can’t
really tell if we’ve been alive forever or not. For now, whatever that
means, it is spring, or at least seems that way, and it’s pretty
outside and sort of warm and if this blasted wind would stop blowing I
could really enjoy my bike ride to work.


How was that?  Brilliant, right?  He pulled you in and before you knew it you were laughing and thinking some very deep thoughts.  That’s what he does!  And for more of that I’d recommend checking out these (fair warning, because he writes with unedited emotion, letting the words bounce and lead and follow and shape the outcome, these are not PG):