the candle

I lit the candle and watched as tendrils of smoke drifted up from the burning wick.  Fire had captivated me for so long I had forgotten my initial introduction and any of the reasons I had been drawn to it.  My love for it didn’t need logic or a past, though.  It was a truth that resonated within my core.

With a quick slice, I opened a cut on my forefinger and then staunched the flow of blood in the parchment I’d written the words to the spell on.  It had to be blood magic.  That was the only thing powerful enough to combat an emotion as powerful as love.

When the bleeding stopped I carefully folded the spell into a tiny box, clearly spoke the words I’d memorized, and then touched the paper to the glowing flame.  It took a minute to catch, the corner blackened and smoking, but then the transfer of heat caused it to nearly erupt as the fire took hold.  I continued to grasp the enchanted square until the fire tasted the calluses from prior spells scarred in my flesh.

As the small ball of flame dropped into the dish I’d placed next to the candle to see out the sputtering fire until all was ash, I felt relief wash over me.  I had plenty of love in my life as it was.  My supportive family, some close friends, magic, fire, music, and other odds and ends, were all enough for the moment.  My heart wasn’t strong enough to love anyone else at the moment and the spell I had just cast would make sure I didn’t.

I’d fallen too hard and too fast for the last one.  I didn’t want to do that again, and since there is nothing logical about love, and who we find ourselves afflicted with it, I’d turned to magic to ensure my heart and mind were unable to feel that way about anyone new until I had healed from the wounds that were still fresh in my soul and flesh.

Jesterly Challenge Month – November 23rd

Dani challenged me (again) to write a spooky rhyming poem.  I quoted her a bit of The Raven, and she said “exactly.”  Well, she said something like that; I didn’t write it down.  Anyway, give the following a read and let me know how I did in the comments.

…..
…..

Lightning flashes and catches my eye,
As thousands of sparkling devils try,
In every rain drop gathered on the pane,
To shatter and batter my frayed nerves again.

Then the thunder strolls and rolls through,
The bones of my house shiver anew,
My teeth rattle in incessant prattle,
And fear grips and rips my heart on the mantle.

It’s there, biding and hiding, now,
Since she pulled it out, don’t ask me how,
And set it on high on a plate, like pie,
For me to stare and glare and enviously sigh.

The gaping and seeping chest wound,
Shall never heal despite time’s find tune,
And the resultant wage shall stay savage,
All the long and gone days until I’m ashes.

Be mindful and careful with trust,
Don’t give it away cheaply with lust,
Or one day it may be your heart removed,
And placed beating and dripping, your love refused.

Lightning flashes and catches my eye,
This storm will never fully pass by.
Forever I’ll quake, as my house shakes,
Forlornly and stubbornly watch my heart ache.

cursed

I’ve never seen red, not in the way the saying is meant.
Though I have bled, my knuckles were split and spent.
I’ve never flown into a white-hot murderous rage.
Though I have thrown hateful hexes as a dark mage.
I’ve never choked the life away from a mortal enemy.
Though I have wrapped my hands around a neck painfully.

I’m not prim and proper and everything nice most of the time.
I’m losing battles to my demons without reason or rhyme.
I’m cursed in a waged war against my fire-fueled temper.
I’m cursed to hurt those I hold closest, hold most dear.

I’ve never thrown a punch in anger, at a person anyway.
Though I have lashed out at walls, my fists made them pay.
I’ve never, deserved or not, truly tried to murder anyone.
Though, if they had power, my hurled words would have done.
I’ve never not regretted my outbursts after each lost battle.
Though I have relished the release that lets my soul rattle.

I’m not prim and proper and everything nice most of the time.
I’m losing battles to my demons without reason or rhyme.
I’m cursed in a waged war against my fire-fueled temper.
I’m cursed to hurt those I hold closest, hold most dear.

I’ve shown glimpses of the raging fire licking at my core.
Though I’ve never admitted how it always craves more.
I’ve shown glimpses of my truth in my darkest fiction.
Though I’ve never admitted it might truly be an addiction.
I’ve shown glimpses, here and there, for those who looked.
Though I’ve never admitted, not yet anyway, I’m hooked.

I’m not the Mr. Nice Guy everyone wants me to be.
I’m wouldn’t want to even if it were a possibility.
I’m cursed in a waged war against society.
I’m cursed because I think differently.

Rara Update

She has moved, again, though not very far this time… and she will probably be moving again shortly.  But, she could use some RawrLove sent her way.  So, if you can, please send off a letter (or two) in the next couple days:

Radhika Jaini, WF0124
CCWF 513-8A-1up
PO Box 1508
Chowchilla, CA  93610-1508

Let her know she is still loved.  Let her know that broken hearts can be mended.  Let her know about all the positive energy and thoughts we are constantly sending her direction.