continuing worth

This is a continuation of the story started here and here:

The darkness parted and his eyes blinked against the onslaught of light.  The glimmering and shimmering ground, as though reflecting a sunrise, stretched towards the horizon in a moving landscape of beauty.  Everywhere he looked there was a friendly face or a testament, a monument, to the natural wonder of the world he had left behind.  It was shifting chaos, but he found that he didn’t mind.  It seemed right.  It seemed normal.

Almost immediately he felt the oddness of time.  It had the same qualities of the time he had left behind but it wasn’t as solid.  He looked for the markers of when it might slow or race and found, to his surprise, that every second, every moment that had the weight of a second, held the possibility for both.  He no longer had to wait for them to come; he could control them as he wished.

His eyes scanned the crowd again.  He was looking for her.  She was what he wanted, needed, to find more than any of the friends waving for his attention or any of the gorgeous sights vying to be explored.  When he didn’t see her immediately present, he grabbed ahold of time and slowed it down as much as he could.

He started forward, taking large, purposeful steps, and waded through the crowd.  The ripples of minor bumps and impacts spread through those he couldn’t avoid colliding with.  Their reactions were distorted by the change but he didn’t notice.  He had one focus and one intent.

There would be plenty of time for adventure and friends and everything else this new world held.  There would be plenty of time to explore and appreciate it all.  But first, he needed to find her.  Once they were together again then he would release his control and let the moments unfold as intended.  Once they were together he would happily live, if that’s what this was called, at whatever speed time had in store.

Until they were together though, he would keep it slow so he didn’t waste one moment unnecessarily without her.

a cry unleashed

A faint cry rolled through the room, like thunder through a valley,
To take a quick glance towards the clock, my strength I needed to rally.
Once confirmed, my deepest fears were true, I steeled myself for the cold,
Only an hour and a half had passed since last his voice had been so bold,
Sweet little prince, hungry again and needing a change,
His cries over several octaves did range,
Threw back the covers from their place,
And over to his side I did race,
Where I pulled him into my arms lovingly,
And sang to him words so soothingly.
My son, my son, whatever is the matter,
You don’t need to shout with such a forceful clatter,
We’re right here, next to where you sleep,
And never do we dream so deep,
That’d we missed coming to your aid,
That is a truth of the finest grade.
Calm your voice, and your heart,
Take a breath, we shall never part.
Yet the screams continue throughout the swap,
The only way I can help, I’m just the pop,
Then freshly dressed I hand you over to the queen,
And your eyes get the widest I’ve ever seen,
Your cries cut short, you are happy once more,
Food, you needed, and there is plenty in store.
Then back to sleep, rest your tiny little head,
The queen and I return to our own bed,
And wait to hear you return to your slumber,
Sometimes you snore like saws at the lumber,
But we know that even when you do finally nod off,
The next wake-up call is never too far off.
That’s okay, we wouldn’t change a thing.

Until then, sleep, my sweet little prince…

a friend lost

Rara has provided a prompt (details at the end) I can’t ignore now that I’ve finally found a few minutes to do some writing…

… In Junior High I was a loner, an outcast, a nerd – before it was cool to be a nerd – in a school full of jocks.  Most of my friends from elementary school had gone to a different Junior High and the one friend that had transferred with me and I had a falling out very shortly into our inaugural year.  I had a few other people I knew and would hang out with from time to time but no one who was a “close” friend: no one to share secrets with, no one to bare my soul too, no one to depend on and to be dependent on me.

It was a very trying time.  I was bullied.  I wasn’t happy in any of my classes.  I didn’t feel like I fit in and I was seriously considering taking my mom up on her offer to home school me.  There were tears more days than not.  Tears of frustration.  Tears of shame.  Tears of humiliation.  I was miserable.

Then, out of the blue, I was moved out of one of the classes I wasn’t happy in to a different one.  New teacher, new classmates, new period… and in this new class, I met Joe.  Or, did he meet me?  Or, did the teacher somehow pair us together?  I don’t remember anymore.  But, Joe was exactly what I had been missing in Junior High.

We went on adventures together.  We got into trouble together.  We partnered on projects.  We laughed, we played video games, we played basketball in my front yard, we went rollerblading all over town, we shared secrets, we bared our souls, and I knew he had my back, just as he knew I had his.  We were BFF’s before that was a thing.

He helped me survive Junior High.  And, we were inseparable for several years after that.  At some point in High School he ended up transferring to a different school, and while we remained friends, we started to go our separate ways.  Eventually, I left town to go to college and we lost touch for awhile.

I ran into him again the summer after Freshman year of college, and we caught up, promised to stay in touch, and then never did…

A few years later I got a call on a random afternoon from my mom.  She was reading the local newspaper and had come across a name in the obituaries…  She wasn’t sure if it was my Joe or not and tried to break it gently in case it was, while hoping all along that it wasn’t.  It was.  He had died in a car accident, leaving behind a wife and children I didn’t even know he had.

The news hurt.  A very physical pain.  A lot of the pain was for the world losing out because he wasn’t around anymore.  A lot of the pain was for the family he had left behind.  Most of the pain was because I hadn’t kept in touch with him, and I had missed out on stories, and adventures, and everything else… and I would never have a chance to correct that mistake.

Time moves on and the pain dulls, but I’m still fighting tears, unsuccessfully, as I type out this total suadade.  I miss my friend, Joe.  I miss having the option of calling him up and saying, “Hey, remember that time we so on and so forth…”  But, I do remember those times, I treasure them, and they still make me smile, even as the tears run unchecked down my cheek.

…….

rarasaur, forthepromptless

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Saudade is a Portuguese word that describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something/someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return.

Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone (e.g., one’s children, parents, sibling, grandparents, friends, pets) or something (e.g., places, things one used to do in childhood, or other activities performed in the past) that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence. It brings sad and happy feelings all together, sadness for missing and happiness for having experienced the feeling.

Above text and lots more information at : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade