Rules in the Kingdom

We have a very special treat today.  (Hopefully you all aren’t treated out after Halloween…)  Zoe, from Behind the Mask of Abuse and We Poets Show It fame, has stopped by the Kingdom to impart some much-needed knowledge:

Wow so this is what’s it’s like in the Kingdom.  What’s with that anyway DJMatticus, your royal…well heiness? (Is that how you spell it?) I’m not used to that word or being in the presence of royalty for that matter.   Whilst I’m on the subject of royalty, am I now a royal since I’m in here?  What’s my title Mr. big royal guy?

Oh by the way, I’m Zoe nice to meet you all. Thank you King DJ for daring to invite me into your castle. I should whisper to you King (Everyone plug your ears)  Your castle could use a good cleaning. It’s a bit dusty and messy in here.

Surely you have help…

Hmmm… that leads me to rules…Great seguay Eh? Eh? (Ya ya I’m Canadian)  King DJ Matticus asked me to type out a list of the rules of life.  Apparently he never got the memo, which I think is quite weird given he’s the king, royalty and all. Anyway, where was I…Oh yes rules.

His royal DJ, likes to plead the fifth a lot.  I told him today that he’s going to run out if he keeps it up, to which he responded, he didn’t know running out was a possibility, and he should stop.  I agreed, while telling him it is a rule.  So here are the written rules your majesty…Or should Majesty be capitalized?

So rule # 1:

One must not plead the fifth more than once a month or they will run out

Rule # 2:

One must keep one’s castle clean and dust free lest one has an allergy attack…ha ha choo

Rule # 3:

One must not use the word “one” more than once in a post.

Rule # 4:

Do as I say not as one does

Rule # 5:

One must keep up with the memo’s especially when one is King (not mentioning any names of course)

Rule #6:

One must read every post of every blogger followed, every day. Especially mine, even if it means giving up a day job. (Can a King give up his job anyway?)

Rule #7:

One must follow his royalness DJ Matticus and read all his posts. Leave responses and “likes” freely and often

Rule #8:

Laugh often (Even when he only thinks he’s funny)

Rule #9:

I have two blogs nuff said

Rule #10:

Follow all the above rules

I hope this clears up any future confusion. Now, DJ Matticus can no longer claim he hasn’t got the memo.

As you all were…Are you all still here?  Don’t you have blogs to read, posts to type?

The show’s over, on your way…

You in the corner you too, off with you lest you want to lose your head.

There’s hope.


Yes, there is hope, and there is also much more to read!  You should definitely check out Zoe’s poetry book: If I Could Write My Heart.

And Hopes Flight co-written by Kirsten A. and Zoe

And here are a few other posts from her blog that you should read as well:

This One Time in College

Have you ever had a culinary disaster? Of course you have. We all have at some point. Today I made my first visit to the Domestic Disaster Diary to talk about something that happened to me in college. Go check it out, click the follow button, and get ready to read some great tales of culinary and crafting woes.

Guest Post: Why can’t they get this one right?

I wax philosophical over on 33 Grams of Blog regarding comic book movies and one in particular they just can’t seem to do justice to. Go check it out!


(Comments closed here to get y’all to start up the discussion over there.)

33 Grams of Blog

Please welcome Matticus to 33 Grams of Blog. As some of you know, I’ve visited Matticus over at The Matticus Kingdom on a couple of occasions and, in return, he has made me the First Knight over his realm. Well, today he’s paying me a visit. Matticus is a man of many faces. He’s the husband of the Queen, the father of the Prince, a great writer, and an awesome guy. He’s 33 grams of Jester. Once you read this, please go over and visit the Kingdom. Check out the rest of his awesomesauce.

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