Jesterly Challenge Month – November 13th

Revis asked me to eloquently elaborate on the superiority of football over futbol.  (Anyone who knows me even a little bit understands that this will be a true challenge for me, because I love soccer.  Love it!).  Anyway, give it a read and let me know how I did in the comments.


Ah, Revis, you should have been a bit more specific…I know what you meant to ask, but you left it so open that I could answer you several ways without actually giving you what you wanted.  Should I compare the English style to the Spanish style: pace and power over technique and finesse?  Should I compare styles within North America: MLS over Liga MX?  Or, should I compare the broader European Football against South American Futbol?

In fairness to your intended question, though, The Queen would certainly agree that (American) Football is far superior to (soccer) Futbol for the simple reason that (American) Football has an off season.  Between domestic leagues on different schedules, national team friendlies and cup competitions, there is never a time when Futbol takes a break; which certainly works for me, because I love the beautiful game.

Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll rise to the challenge as issued (and lie).
(Hey, I’m a fiction writer; I basically lie all the time.)
(This is going to hurt.)

Football is… better… than futbol because …

Hmm.  I was going to go with the standby “American” answer and say, “because it is a higher scoring game that never has a lull in the action.”  However, in forcing my fingers to try and type that, I realized a truth: there are a ton of pauses in the action in American Football.  They have commercials every chance they get.  Long time outs, breaks between the quarters, injuries, and sometimes even just breaks between the plays all warrant an opportunity to stop the action and throw a commercial on the screen for all those fans watching from home.

And that’s one reason I can actually agree that Football is better than Futbol.  I don’t even have to lie.  All those commercials give me an opportunity to get stuff done during the three hours a game is on.  Where a soccer game only gives me the 15 minute break between halves to quickly eat, or run to the bathroom, or change a diaper, or whatever other chore I’m procrastinating on, while watching a Football game I can get a ton of stuff done!

So, there you go.  In one way, Football truly is better than Futbol.
(In 9 million other ways, however, Futbol destroys Football.)
(Also, in fairness to The Queen, she can’t stand (American) Football either.)
(Also, in the Kingdom, the Little Prince is known to run around shouting “Goal!”)
(I’m so proud.)

love, lust

The whole world in a cup,
Wrapped in gold, glory.
A month long quest,
Of cheers, jeers,
Love, lust,

The battles call to me,
From the true green pitch,
Nations fighting,
Flags waiving,

Samba dance with a ball,
Ninety minute songs.
I hold my breath.
The whistle,

I’ll be crying tomorrow

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about football (soccer) here on the matticus kingdom.  I know that is partly due to my general absence for a couple of months at the end of March to the beginning of May.  However, it had been awhile since I’d written anything footy related before I disappeared too so that isn’t all of it.

I guess, I’m not really going to talk about football today either.  Instead, this is more of a testament to a legend, to the greatest Manager to ever pace the sideline of any court or field, to Sir Alex Ferguson.

Tomorrow he will be stepping out on the pitch for the final time.  He has been at the helm for Manchester United for 26 years…  Tomorrow will be his 1500th game in charge…  He’s won 13 league titles in his time in charge, turning Manchester United into a struggling middle of the table club into the force they have become.  They didn’t always win with style under him, they didn’t always play up to their potential, but more often than not they have been exciting to watch and have done their fans proud.

I was planning on posting a bunch of stats about how succesful he has been, to back up my claim of “greatest manager ever,” but if you are interested you can find all of that on the Sir Alex Ferguson Wiki.

When he first announced his retirement I was a bit shell-shocked.  He has been the only manager I have known while I’ve been a Manchester United supporter.  What will my club be without him in charge?  Will we continue our winning  ways?  Will we be like the other “top” clubs and start shuffling managers every year (or less)?  Will our key players jump ship?  I was sad, concerned, lost…

It only took a day for them to announce that they has signed David Moyes from Everton on a six-year contract.  I was pleased that they at least on paper are giving him the time to settle into an impossible role.  Who has the pedigree to follow Sir Alex Ferguson?  Nobody.  I think he will be a good fit for my beloved Red Devils.  I see us continuing our recent run of success.

However, that may not keep a few tears from being shed tomorrow as the final whistle is blown, and Sir Alex disappears for the last time down the tunnel…  I’m going to miss seeing him furiously chewing his gum.  I’m going to miss his half jump arms raised goal celebration (I’d like to see you do better at 71).  I’m going to miss his mind game news conferences, his double speak, his joking, his team selection, his tactics, his never, ever, ever give up attitude, his ability to have team after team come up with last gasp equalizers and winners (Fergie Time!)

His achievements will never be rivaled.  The game will be poorer without him.

And that is why, in all likelihood, I will shed a few tears tomorrow morning after the Manchester United vs. West Bromwich Albion game.  I know it’s just a silly sport.  I know it is kind of ridiculous for me to feel this way.  But…  it is what it is, and I am who I am.  Football (soccer) pulls at my soul.

Thank you Sir Alex for the years of glory.  I hope you get all the time you want with your children and grandchildren.  I hope the club can continue to give you brilliant goals and dramatic victories to cheer on for many years to come.

drum roll please

Look what I found this morning:


Isn’t that a lovely gift from dmauldin53?

I don’t normally accept nominations for these awards but they had such nice things to say about me and asked me very politely to accept it.  I was powerless to refuse.  You should take a minute to read this and that and pretty much everything else at the Mauldin Family blog.  It’s a whole lot of awesome.


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