sparks

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Sparks splashed the asphalt before disappearing under my car.  It was beautiful.  A dazzling explosion of red and orange in the dark morning. 

A flash of color, of life, and then gone. 

In that instant, the ashes looked alive. They moved like tiny creatures, swirling, a spark dancing in the dark. 

It was the kind of thing I’d have loved to last longer so I could really capture the colors and movement, build a story off it, and tie it back to a song, to a memory, to something beautiful.

I didn’t enjoy it in that moment, though. 

It was anger I felt first and strongest

Who throws a cigarette out their window these days?  In fire prone country?  During a drought?

The absurdity made me furious.

the first timer

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It had been a fun day.  Her first time camping.  She had her first night in a tent ahead of her.  And she was just about to enjoy her first ever officially cooked on a fire while camping s’more.  Not her first ever s’more, of course.  She’d had plenty of those, but never one while camping where the marshmallows were toasted in the coals of a fire.

The long drive to get here seemed a distant memory even though she’d been in the car longer that day than she’d actually been in the camp.  That time would even out and the swing the other way while she was sleeping that night.  The days ahead stretched with endless possibilities.

Her little legs kicked freely, dangling from her camp chair.  The fire warmed her legs.  It was surprising how quickly it was getting cold now that the sun had set.  It had been a warm day but it certainly seemed like it was going to be a cold night.  She wished she could get a little closer to the fire but it seemed like too much a production to get off the chair, scoot it closer, and then climb back in.  Besides, she would have her s’more soon and then it’s deliciousness would distract her from the cold.

The fire crackled, a pinecone she stuck in the coals earlier popped, the giant trees around rustled their millions of needles, and somewhere off in the darkness the river whispered its lulling song.  The river.  The river.  The river.

She had caught glimpses of it while they’d been driving into camp but hadn’t yet been down to it.  The day had been too full of setting up camp to explore it yet.  Tomorrow, though, she knew she’d get to feel its icy waters, see its roaring torrents, and play at its edge. 

Her s’more was handed to her, its marshmallows browned to perfection and the chocolate already beginning to melt beneath their warmth.   She was tempted to shove as much into her mouth as she could at once but decided to let it cool first.  Her eyes drifted across the fire to their neighbor’s camp.  He had a fire, too.  It was smaller than her fire and that was surprising.  His wood pile had been huge.

In the dancing shadows she could see him sitting in a chair by himself and this made her frown.  Didn’t seem right that he should be by himself.  And, it didn’t look like he was fixing s’mores either.  That very much did not seem right. 

An idea came to her and she carefully scooted forward in her chair, balancing her s’more in one hand while using the other to help guide her way, until her toes touched the dirt and she could stand up.  Her dad was by her side an instant later, asking, “Where you going, honey?”

“I’m going to ask our neighbor if he wants a s’more, too.”

“That’s very kind of you.  He might want to be left alone, though.”

She smiled her biggest smile and replied, “It doesn’t hurt to ask.”

And then, before her father could argue, she marched carefully away from her own fire, still cradling the s’more in one hand, and avoiding all the stumps and rocks she’d made note of while it was still light, through the dark stretches between the two camps until she was at the edge of light created by her neighbor’s fire.  She slowed then, not wanting to startle him, and suddenly a bit nervous, bu he must have heard her coming because he turned and greeted her with a large, warm, smile.

“Hello there, beautiful night isn’t it.”

He was older than he’d looked from the distance between the camps when she’d watched him earlier.  The light from his fire splashed across his face, his wrinkles casting shadows of their own.  The smile won her over before her nerves had a chance to really frighten her.

“Would you like a s’more?” she asked, holding her own out to him.

“Oh?  Why I haven’t had one of those longer than you’ve been alive.  I didn’t even bring the stuff to make them this trip.  I remember them being very tasty, though.  Are you sure you want to part with it?”

She had only just met him but could tell he was being silly.  It was something in his voice and something in the way his eyes sparkled.  She supposed that could have been the fire light but she doubted it.  She doubted it very much.

“We have a lot stuff to make more.  I’m planning on having at least two every night we’re here.  It’s not a real camping out campfire unless you have a s’more.”

“No?  No.  I supposed you’re right.  Well, then I’d be honored to have one, thank you.”

And with that he took the s’more from her with one of his large, weathered hands and immediately took a bite.  Marshmallow stuck to the corners of his lips and somehow a dob of chocolate wound up on his nose.  She couldn’t help but giggle.  He didn’t seem to mind the mess or the laughter.  If anything, his eyes grew even merrier.

“Oh, yes, just as I had remembered.  Very tasty, indeed.”

“You’re welcome to join us at our campfire, if you’d like,”  her mom said from right behind her.

Somehow her mom had crossed from their camp without her hearing and her sudden arrival made her jump ever so slightly but then when she’d realized it was just her mom she went back to grinning at her new friend.

“That is very kind of you,” he replied, still smiling with chocolate on his nose and marshmallow fluff smeared to his cheeks.  “I would love to join your fire tomorrow night, if you’ll have then.  Tonight I’m already settled into my chair.”

“Perfect!  We’ll have a chair for you and everything.  Just come on down after dinner and we’ll make s’mores again,” the little girl replied, her excitement causing the words to come out in a loud rush.  Then she skipped back to her own fire, heedless of the rocks and roots that might grab a foot if she wasn’t careful, knowing that her father had almost certainly made another s’more for her.  She was ready for it.

She’d made a new friend.  She was camping.  Tomorrow was going to be an adventure. 

And, in the distance, she could still hear the blurbling and bubbling sounds of the river.  It was like magic, that sound, just like she knew this whole trip was going to be.  Magic.

Perhaps the river was the source of it all.  Perhaps it was the magic.  Maybe she’d find out tomorrow.  She figured she’d dream about it that night.  She had before, having only seen it in pictures and heard stories from her parents.  In fact, she was certain it must be magic.

The river.  The river.  The river.

Making it safely back to her chair, having ignored her mom’s calls to slow down and be careful, she climbed in and started kicking her feet again.  A moment later her dad handed her another s’more and this time she didn’t’ wait.  She just crunched right in.  She felt the marshmallows smear onto her cheeks and nose and she giggled happily, contently, magically, while she ate.

a state on fire

We walked through the burn scar, happy to see new life peeking through the soil, green in a landscape of ash grey, while breathing the smoke from a new fire raging to the south.  Seeing the remnants of a dead fire while breathing the proof of a live one.  It was eerie and sad.  I took video while we walked, to capture the moment as best as I could.  Though, that only really gets the image of it.  Not the smell.  Not the desolation.  Not the death in the air.

Still, there was life at our feet.  Tiny flowers and little green shoots sprouted along the trail.  And in the haze we could see other such life pushing through the ash.  It was encouraging to see that.  Despite the destruction, all was not lost.  Despite the raging inferno that had scarred the terrain a year earlier (nearly to the day), life was returning and, in some cases, had never left. 

Little did we know then what our day had in store. 

From one fire to another, we travelled homeward, the smoke constant and the charred hillsides popping up again and again.

I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this.

When I conceived the idea for the post on our drive home (we had been backpacking near Shaver Lake), it seemed to mean something.  All this damage.  All these fires.  I came home and looked up the names of each of them.  There were nine active and old fires that we either drove through, walked through, or saw the smoke from.  And if we saw the smoke it meant we were breathing it.  But now a month later when I’m finally get around to writing this?  That number would be thirteen instead of nine.  Four more fires started along the same corridor in the last four weeks.  One per week.  But, what does it mean?

Well, I don’t know.

Maybe it is enough to have been there and to share these words now and raise the question:  What does it mean?

Maybe these words are nothing more than a diary entry of sorts.  I went.  I saw.  There was devastation.  There was beauty.  And somehow that is right.  That is life.

Maybe this is nothing more than my mind trying to reconcile the memories from my youth when I was fascinated by fire while at the same time calculating the cost currently.  The forests that have burned now will not have grown back to what they were in my lifetime, nor in my children’s lifetime.  Anything that is lost now they will never get to experience.  These forests take too long to grow back.  They can’t just be instantly replaced like so much else in our lives.

Maybe it’s all of the above.

I don’t know.

A Ghost Story, Part 7

And we’re back with the next segment in our story, Revis and I. We hope you enjoy. I know I enjoyed writing my half… And that’s not half bad? I shouldn’t be allowed to write these intros after a certain point.

…..

“He called them the ‘dark arts’ but,” Jake’s mother stated after a few moments, her voice no longer quivering, “that was more of a joke, a play on words, than actually being related to what most people think of when they hear that term.  He wasn’t summoning demons.  He wasn’t doing blood sacrifices or anything like that.  There was no dancing naked in the moonlight.  Well, I mean, not related to any of this.”

She added that last bit in a whisper and then looked away, a wistful smile on her lips and a faraway look in her eyes. 

“Mom!”

Without looking back to her son, she continued, “He called them the dark arts because it was dark when the spirits liked to come out and magic is definitely a kind of art.  It takes practice and patience and skill…”

She paused again.  Based on her expression, Jake guessed she was still reliving some memory of her time with his father. 

Jake had a million questions but he knew the pause would be brief.  His mom needed this mental break and then she would gather her thoughts and spill the rest of her tale.  He took the moment to settle on the floor next to her.  He was tired and had a feeling that it was going to be a long day ahead.  There was an undercurrent of excitement bubbling in his thoughts. I’m going to learn magic.

“Again, I only know a few things. I’ll show you what I can, but it’s not much. If your father was here…”

There was pain in her voice. It was the first time she’d displayed any emotion other than anger when she talked about his father. He’d had many questions about his father when he was growing up, but he rarely asked them because she’d react angrily when he did. Back then, he thought she did that because his father had done something horrible to her. Now he thought she reacted that way purposefully, so he’d stop asking questions. 

“I wish I could tell you what happened to your father, Jake,” she said as she tried to hold back tears. “I really do, but the truth is that I don’t know what happened to him. Right after he showed me the fire trick, he started acting strange, kind of paranoid. When I asked what was going on, he’d either brush it off or tell me that something big was coming, but he didn’t know what it was, only that he had a bad feeling about it. Finally, one day, he just never came home.”

“Did you go to the police?”

She smiled sadly. “And tell them that my magic man was missing because he had a bad feeling about something? No. They wouldn’t have believed me. I was tempted to go a few times anyway, but each time I was about to walk out the door, I’d get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. Eventually, I just gave up.”

Jake opened his mouth to retort his disbelief that she could just give up on looking for his dad, for her husband, but thought better of it.  He’d only been living with the idea that magic was real for a handful of minutes and he knew there was no way he’d take any of what had just happened to the police.  They wouldn’t understand.  They wouldn’t help.  If anything, it would make the situation worse because extra scrutiny would be put on him and his family.

His mom was studying him and seemed to be following along with his thoughts, because when he closed his mouth she nodded.  There was nothing more she could have done.

“Okay, you know I love fire, so let’s get started,” Jake said, trying to lighten the mood a bit while also getting back on track.  The spirit, or ghost, or whatever it was would be back soon and he wanted to be prepared to help fight it.

His mom laughed and shook her head, “Oh, you don’t get to start with that one.  You have to earn it.”

She pushed herself off the ground and moved next to the sink, setting the fire extinguisher on the counter nearby.  She ran two handfuls of water and splashed them into her face and then turned to look at her son.  “First, “ she said, “you have to learn the cadence of magic.”

Jake sighed. He hoped that he’d be able to jump right into it, especially given the circumstances, but it seemed like his mom was starting off with the boring stuff. It also sounded a lot like something she’d said to him many times before, “It’s not just what you say. It’s how you say it.” Throughout his life, he’d heard her say that to him a lot and, even though she was using different words, he was hearing it again. They didn’t have much time until the ghost, or spirit, or whatever, recovered from the fire. Shouldn’t she skip to the important parts instead of taking her time with the lessons? 

Despite his frustration, he paid attention to what his mother was saying. Or, at least he was until he felt a thump coming from underneath his feet. Jake wrote it off as his imagination until it happened a second time. He held up his hand to indicate his mother should stop talking. She looked annoyed when she saw him do it, but she followed his suggestion. Her expression changed at once when she felt the third thump.

“Oh no,” she breathed. Her volume increased exponentially when she then shouted, “Block the basement door!”

It was too late. An animated corpse, missing a hand, broke the door down, rage etched on his features.

Jake grabbed the fire extinguisher and prepared to throw it at the thing advancing towards them.  His mom screamed, “Don’t!  Not that!” and he shifted at the last moment and sent the extinguisher sailing out of the kitchen.  It crashed into something with a metallic clang but Jake had turned to his mom, eyebrows raised questioningly, a look of exasperation on his face, so he didn’t see what it had hit.

“The bottle,” his mom said, pointing towards the alcohol they had used earlier.

Jake followed her gesture and understanding hit him.  He raced to the far edge of the counter we’re he’d poured the cups earlier, grabbed it by its neck and threw it at the ghastly creature.  At the same time, his mom raced forward, the spray can and lighter once again in her hands.

The bottle crashed into the being, it grunted but didn’t slow its advance, and thumped to the floor at its feet where the alcohol began to slosh out the opening.  Jake’s heart fell.  He’d hoped the bottle would shatter and completely cover the thing in the flammable liquid.  His eyes cast about for some other weapon to attack with.

Then his mom was in striking distance and she once again created the black flames.  She pointed the jet at the pool of alcohol at the feet of the monster.  In a great whoosh, the whole thing became engulfed in flames.  A second later, the bottle exploded sending shards of glass flying in every direction.

Jake felt something like a needle prick in his cheek and a stinging sensation in his left arm, just above his elbow. Droplets of blood began appearing at the site, turning into a slow stream of his life fluid. Given the wet feeling on his cheek, he thought it safe to assume that he had a similar cut there. At a glance, he could see that his mother was also sporting a few blood spots, but none of them seemed to be too serious. 

She, however, was fixated on the walking corpse. It had just received the exact same treatment that destroyed the severed hand, yet it wasn’t affected at all. The corpse stood in the flames without being harmed by them. Decaying flesh turned upward as a devilish smile worked onto its face. A blast of icy air, one that Jake thought was colder than any winter breeze he’d ever felt, blew in from behind the corpse and extinguished the fire. Still, no damage appeared on the dead body.

“You were warned, boy,” it said without moving its lips. “I gave you a chance to save her. Had you told your mother earlier, she could have prepared a spell to save herself. Now, she must pay for her sins.”

“What sins?” Jake responded with a quaking voice.

“For starters,” it croaked, “she killed me in ritual sacrifice to make herself more powerful.”

norm

dav

The green hills whisper their secrets of rain and sun.
The char from the summer fires isn’t gone or forgotten.
It rests beneath the lush grasses and vibrant bushes
And whispers its own secrets of flaming touches.
It pokes through here and there to ensure it is seen.
To be seen is to be remembered and that is everything.
For the summer winds will come again like always
And all it takes is a spark and the hills will be ablaze.
When the hills go up, some homes will surely follow,
They line the ridges and fill the canyons and hollows.
This cycle repeats every year, from green to brown to fire.
We sacrifice much to the pressures of the social norm pyre.