742 Evergreen Q and A

I can’t believe I haven’t already done this one…

Shame on me.  Shame, shame, shame.

This week’s theme is fairly evident, if you haven’t figured it out just based on the post title, then shame on you!  It’s, of course, all quotes from The Simpsons Movie.

Do you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions?  Or a theme?  Or a specific actor?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: What should you say whenever someone brings up “what’s-her-name?”
A: “Clap for Alaska!”
– Homer (Dan Castellaneta)

Q: What should you say when someone asks for advice?
A: “Anyone can pick something when they know what it is; It takes real leadership to pick something you’re clueless about.”
– Russ Cargill (Albert Brooks)

Q: What should you say when the plane you are on is about to take off?
A: “Ok, boys, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call Him Mr. Christ.”
– Ned Flanders (Harry Shearer)

Q: What should you say when you are backseat driving?
A: “Look, we can’t keep stopping at every “sop”, “yeld”, or “one vay” sign!”
– EPA Passenger (Hank Azaria)

Q: What should you say whenever someone asks about your family?
A: “I wish Homer was my father.”
– Todd Flanders (Nancy Cartwright)

Q: What should you say when someone asks about where you grew up?
A: “This town is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare!”
– Lisa (Yeardley Smith)

Q: What should you say when someone asks what your current job is?
A: “Well, I don’t like to brag, but I am now the Emperor of Springfield.”
– Moe (Hank Azaria)

Q: What should you say when someone says you made a mistake?
A: “That could be anybody’s Pig Crap silo.”
– Homer (Dan Castellaneta)

Q: What should you say when someone asks if they did something right?
A: “Actually, you’ve doomed us all. Again.”
– Bart (Nancy Cartwright)

Q: What should you say every single time you leave a building?
A: “Bye, everybody!”
– Dr. Nick (Hank Azaria)

………

I will never grow tired of watching The Simpsons on TV or on Film.  They always find a way to tickle my funny bone.  And while I will admit that sometimes the episodes can blur into one another, that isn’t reason enough to walk away from the characters.  Every generation has that one show that came on at the right time and then grew up with them.  The Simpsons is that for me.  Here there be fierce pacifier wielding babies, smart saxophone playing girls, crazy trouble making boys, tired peace keeping moms, and Homer.  There are no monsters.  Thanks for playing along.

Can’t Hardly Q and A

This week’s theme is fairly evident, if you haven’t figured it out just based on the post title, it’s all quotes from Can’t Hardly Wait.  This series was thrown together based on a request from The Queen.  It was on TV a few weeks ago, we were watching it, and she was amazed with how many lines I knew.  She said, “This should be one of your movie posts,” and now it is.

Do you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions?  Or a theme?  Or a specific actor?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: What should you say to someone who says they are good at tanning?
A: “There’s a mirror right there. Take a look, you’re white.”
– Denise (Lauren Ambrose)

Q: While discussing favorite female character roles with friends, what should you add to the conversation?
A: “You know who else I like that didn’t get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.”
– Stoner Guy (Brian Klugman)

Q: What should you say to someone who is questioning the direction their life is headed?
A: “Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it’s up to you to make it happen.”
– Angel Stripper (Jenna Elfman)

Q: What should you say to a friend who is grieving over a lost relationship?
A: “You know what they say about women and trolley cars. There’s plenty of ’em in the sea.”
– William (Charlie Korsmo)

Q: I don’t really have a question for this one.  I just like it.  But, if you think of a question to go with this as the answer leave it in the comments.
A: “I roll up on that shorty be like, “What’s up yo?” she be like, “You don’t know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa” cuz I don’t yo.”
– Kenny Fisher (Seth Green)

Q: What should you say to your flock?
A: “You are all sheep. Baah!”
– Earth Girl (Sara Rue)

Q: What should you say after taking the first sip of a newly tapped keg?
A: “Nobody drink the beer, the beer has gone bad!”
– William (Charlie Korsmo)

Q: What should you say to your girlfriend/wife/significant other when they ask how they look in a new outfit?
A: “Seriously, and you’re like Gwyneth.”
– Rachel (Jennifer Lyons)

Q: What should you say when someone calls you weird?
A: “You’re the one calling Barry Mannilow from a phone booth at 2:00 am”
– Angel Stripper (Jenna Elfman)

Q: What should you say any time you are really excited about something?
A: “I can’t feel my legs, I HAVE NO LEGS!”
– William (Charlie Korsmo)

………

I have no problem admitting that I love this movie.  Come on, the geeky aspiring writer gets the girl.  What could be better than that, right?  How about you: have you seen it? did you like it? do you have a guilty pleasure movie? do you like Barry Manilow?  Here there be love, true love, comedy, jocks, kleptomaniacs, stoners, nerds, and every other cliche high school group, even the monsters.  Thanks for playing along.

SS Q and A

I know what you are thinking: Matticus, what does SS stand for?  Something Stupid.  Silly Sisters.  Savory Snacks.  There are just so many options!  But, this week, SS stands for Steven Seagal.  That’s right!  Musician, martial arts expert, friend of the environment and terrible actor.  But, that hasn’t stopped me from pulling in several of his movie quotes into my lexicon.

Do you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions?  Or a theme?  Or a specific actor?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: What should you say when someone asks why you are always so serious?
A: “I’d like to make something very clear: I don’t have rage. I’m a happy guy. You see this face? This is a happy face”
– Orin Boyd – Exit Wounds

Q: What should you say to someone who has just insulted you?
A: “I can’t believe you can still eat with that mouth.”
– Det. Gino Fellino – Out for Justice

Q: What should you say when someone asks about the angel and devil that used to sit on your shoulders?
A: “One thought he was invincible… the other thought he could fly.”
– John Hatcher – Marked for Death

Q: What should you say about someone who you’d really like to see six feet under but won’t do it yourself?
A: “I wouldn’t dirty my bullets.”
– Forrest Taft – On Deadly Ground

Q: What should you say when you get pulled over and the cop asks why you were speeding?
A: “Let’s face it, I don’t believe in authority.”
– Jack Taggart – Fire Down Below

*I’d like to take a moment here to remind you all that these are for laughs only and should not be attempted in the real world.  We absolve ourselves of any jail time or other consequences should you actually insult an officer when you have been pulled over.*

Q: What should you say to your daughter when she first starts talking about boys?
A: “No dating until you are 40.”
– Dr. Wesley McClaren – The Patriot

Q: What should you say to a random girl you find yourself having drinks with at a bar?
A: “You’re Machete’s girl. I know, cause you’re his type.”
– Rogelio Torrez – Machete

Q: What should you say when you didn’t do as well at something as you wanted to?
A: “Number 4? I wanna be number 1.”
– Nico Toscani – Above the Law

Q: What should you say when someone asks what you are good at?
A: “I’m just a cook”
– Casey Ryback – Under Siege

Q: What should you say when playing chess with someone and they’ve left themselves open for checkmate?
A: “’Cause if that’s the best you got, I’m just gonna have to kill you.”
– Lt. Jack Cole – The Glimmer Man

………

Do you have an actor you love to hate?  Someone you agree is terrible but that you still watch all their movies anyway?  I bet you do.  But, really, who can argue with a martial arts action flick… they are just so much fun!  Here there be cooks and cops, black bets and rock stars, and glimmering, lots and lots of glimmering, and, as always, a monster.  Thanks for playing along.

Robin Q and A

This week’s theme should be obvious as you make it through the contents of the post.  And, if you haven’t seen these movies we may not be able to be friends any longer!

In other news, if you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions, or a theme, or a specific actor, let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

You get extra ones this week because I couldn’t pick only ten.  Also…  I’ve used every single one of these, and some of them I use weekly.  Perhaps not in the context I present them  here, but I use them all the same.

Q: What should you say to someone who is struggling with something from their past?
A: “It’s not your fault.”
– Sean Maguire – Good Will Hunting

Q: What should you say when you are super excited?
A: “I feel like a fox in a chicken coop!”
– Adrian Cronauer- Good Morning, Vietnam

Q: What should you say when you are challenging yourself to stand up and be heard?
A: “I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.”
– John Keating – Dead Poets Society

Q: What should you say when you’ve just done something that you aren’t all that proud of, but that needed to be done all the same?
A: “It was a run-by fruiting”
– Daniel Hillard as Mrs. Doubtfire – Mrs. Doubtfire

Q: What should you say when someone asks if you are ready to begin?
A: “There is no ‘ready’.”
– Alan Parrish – Jumanji

Q: What should you say when someone asks what it is like to be you?
A: “It’s like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable.”
– Armand – The Birdcage

Q: What should you say when you hear about a long time couple dying shortly after one another?
A: “Is that a kind of occupational hazard of soul mates? One’s not much without the other?”
– Chris Nielsen – What Dreams May Come

Q: What should you say when someone asks what you are most afraid of?
A: “Death. To die. To expire. To pass on. To perish. To peg out. To push up daisies. To push up posies. To become extinct. Curtains, deceased, Demised, departed And defunct. Dead as a doornail. Dead as a herring. Dead as a mutton. Dead as nits. The last breath. Paying a debt to nature. The big sleep. God’s way of saying, “Slow down.””
– Hunter ‘Patch’ Adams – Patch Adams

Q: What should you say when people ask why you behave the way you do?
A: “I try to make sense of things. Which is why, I guess, I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.”
– Andrew Martin – Bicentennial Man

Q: What should you tell someone who is struggling with life?
A: “You’re a good man. I know that. Even if you’ve forgotten it.”
– Finch – Insomnia

Q: What should you say before you embark on any adventure, good or bad?
A: “In that spirit, we set forth.”
– Bob Munro – RV

Q: What should you say when asked what you want?
A: “Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.”
– Teddy Roosevelt – Night at the Museum

Q: What should you say when someone asks if you like music?
A: “You got to love music more than you love food. More than life. More than yourself.”
– Wizard – August Rush

………

Robin Williams is mind blowingly funny, right?  Yes, well he is also one of my favorite actors.  He know hos to deliver a line.  He has taken his comedic genius and used it to transform script after script.  What is your favorite role of his?  Here there be teachers, and birdcages, and serial killers, and peter pan, and cross dressing nannies and psychologists and everything in between, including the required monster.  Thanks for playing along.

Q and A Pan

This week’s theme should be obvious as you make it through the contents of the post.  And, if you haven’t seen the three movies that I’m pulling from you should rectify that immediately!

In other news, if you have a movie you’d like me include in these Q and A sessions, or a theme, or a specific actor, let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.

(All previous Q and A iterations are here.)

As a reminder:  The Q’s are life situations you may find yourself in, and the A’s are the corresponding quotes from movies that you could considering using in those situations if you were mad like me.  But, I am a professional Jester, so take that into consideration before trying them on your own.

Q: When someone insults what should you say in reply?
A: “You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.”
– Peter Banning (Robin Williams) – Hook

Q: What should you sarcastically say when someone says your dreams aren’t big enough?
A: “Yes, well, we do dream on a budget here, don’t we?”
– J.M. Barrie (Johnny Depp) – Finding Neverland

Q: What should you say when someone refuses to give you something without you saying “please?”
A: “Sirs! My brother and I are English gentlemen. English gentlemen do not beg!”
– John (Harry Newell) – Peter Pan

Q: What should you say when you are trying to rally the troops together?
A: “Rufio! Rufio!”
– Rufio (Dante Basco) – Hook

Q: What should you say when you are trying to give someone a pep talk, trying to get them to see that there is hope to carry on?
A: “You showed us we can change things by simply believing them to be different.”
– Sylvia Llewelyn Davies (Kate Winslet) – Finding Neverland

Q: What should you say when two of your friends are arguing?
A: “Mother and father are fighting again…”
– Tootles (Rupert Simonian) – Peter Pan

Q: What should you say when watching a baseball game and someone hits a homerun?
A: “’Run home, Jack.’”
– Jack (Charlie Korsmo) – Hook

Q: What should you say as often as you possibly can?
A: “This is just a bit of silliness, really.”
– Peter Llewelyn Davies (Freddie Highmore) – Finding Neverland

Q: What should you say when asked for a kiss?
A: “I remember kisses, let me see. Aye, that is a kiss. A powerful thing.”
– Slightly (Theodore Chester) – Peter Pan

Q: What should you also so as often as you possibly can?
A: “I believe in you… Peter Pan.”
– Tinkerbell (Julia Roberts) – Hook

………

Neverland, and the story of Peter Pan is without a doubt one of my favorite things.  Mermaids, indians, pirates, adventures, and never, ever, having to grow up.  Who hasn’t fantasized about returning to their life as a child?  Or, perhaps not their childhood, but one that is portrayed through film and the written word – carefree, imagination led playing.  I long for that often.  Here there be lost boys, and faeries, and sword fights, and one clock swallowing ticking crocodile of a monster.  Thanks for playing along.  If you believe, it becomes reality.