He paid attention in class, despite the onslaught of distractions from his friends, the notes being passed, the whispers back and forth, the spit wads, the faces at the teachers back. He raised his hand when he knew the answer to any posed question. He turned his work in on time. He studied. He was diligent. He didn’t care what his classmates thought of him and he strove to ace every subject because he wanted that for himself every bit as much as his parents wanted that for him, for his future. He valued grades over friendships. He was never happy.
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After school, he would get lost on the way home while walking with his friends. They would duck into alleys after stealing half smoked cigarettes from ashtrays. He would light one up for himself and revel in his own rebellious nature. He liked the feeling of doing something he knew he shouldn’t. He liked playing the dangerous game of hiding the truth of his extra-curricular activities from his parents and teachers. He liked the rush when he would run from his friends after a smash and grab job at the convenience store. He knew he was jeopardizing the future his other self was working so hard to achieve but he didn’t care, he loved feeling part of a group.
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She loved her husband. They had been best friends for years before tying the knot. It had felt so right at the time. Her love for him and his love for her were beyond question, beyond reproach, it was the stuff of stories and legends. They built their life together. They shared their secrets. They were each others’ confidants. They shared their joys and sorrows. They relished in the others’ triumphs and held their hands through the others’ struggles. She loved him more each and every day. She never wanted to do anything that would break apart their union, their companionship, their “we can overcome any obstacle as long as we work together” attitude. She felt like she was living a lie.
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She held her oldest secret so close to her chest that she could hardly see it herself. She knew it was there though, and knew what it meant. She knew that all of her love for her husband couldn’t keep it from coming out eventually, and in fact, her love for him would make it come out sooner than it might if she didn’t love him so deeply. But, telling her secret would destroy them even though it didn’t change the fact that she loved him. That part would never change, but once her secret was out her love for her would wane and falter. For, as much as she loved him, he could not complete her. She loved women too and couldn’t be truly happy while she remained devoted solely to him. Needing to unburden herself of the truth, she took the secret out and gazed upon it from time to time when she was alone. She shared that truth with nobody else and wouldn’t until she was ready to tell her husband.
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Put together as a thank you to Steph for helping me reach this major milestone. She said: “This hits home for me, great post!” in response to my we are all Gemini post, and so I volunteered to expand upon it for her, and she said, “Yes! Go on, do it…”
Well, how did I do?
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Are you a faithful kingdomite? Do you have a request? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you. (And for all those who already have their requests in, don’t worry, I have them all written down and I’m already working on them. Your posts are coming.)
The Matticus Kingdom 