My Unintentional Sin

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Stories that Must Not Die

Editor’s note: this story was submitted anonymously.


The internet is a universe unto itself. 20 years ago, if you had told me I could fall for a woman without ever having met her, I’d have pronounced you insane and ceased further interaction with you. I’d have mocked you mercilessly. Now, however, I’d tell you that it’s happened to me more than once. I’d also tell you I hope it never happens to me again and that I’m actively taking steps to avoid this perilous situation.

Last year I met a lovely woman online. She is smart, beautiful, caring, and independent. That sounds like wonderful news and under different circumstances it would have been, but there was one small problem. She lives hundreds of miles away.

Despite the distance we managed to meet. I fell more deeply in love with her after spending some time with her. She returned my feelings…

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I Will Stand With You

I stepped away from the kingdom for a little bit today to visit Hayley’s lil world. I put together a little poem in response to her recent battle against cyber bullying. Go check it out.

Hayley'slilworld

Hayley put out the request for some guest posts and I was compelled to answer.

But, what to write about?  What could I possibly say that held the same power and emotion of her recent guest post for me?  She tackled a touchy subject and really had to dig deep to put the post together.  My post for her needed to at least attempt to be as meaningful…

I deleted about 400 words I had written here… which all amounted to a lot of random ramblings of my jestering mind.  And, yes, the only reason I’m telling you that I deleted some content was so I could use the phrase “jestering mind.”  I’m awesomely silly like that.

Anyway, I’ve given up hope of trying to compete with the guest post that Hayley did for me, and so I’m going to subject you all to another poem.  Please, please, keep the…

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it’s the beat

Initially I was going to share a story about one of the first times I stepped behind the decks to spin at a club: the songs I selected, the feeling of being there, the energy from the crowd, etc…  But then thinking about that I decided that it would be more fun to share the various songs that have shaped who I am over the years and what I associate with them now.

What follows is a list of emotions and situations and the song I pair with them automatically in my mind:

When I’m happy:


Bruce Springsteen – No Surrender

When I’m sad:


Gary Jules and Michael Andres – Mad World

When I’m angry:


Rage Against the Machine – Bulls on Parade

When I’m lost:


Tiesto – Just Be

When I’m driving in the mountains:


Crystal Method – High Roller

When I’m nostalgic:


Simon and Garfunkel – The Sound of Silence

When I’m feeling romantic:


U2 – With or Without You

When I’m feeling heart-broken:


Foo Fighters – Best of You

When I’m getting ready to exercise:


Blink-182 – Go

When I’m tired:


Green Day – Brain Stew

When I think of music:


Solar Stone – Seven Cities

Obviously not a complete list… I didn’t even pull any Johnny Cash, any Offspring, any Mozart, any Insane Clowne Posse, any No Doubt…

So, put me in a situation, give me an emotion (in the comments), and I’ll tell you the song I put with it.

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Put together as a thank you to Not a Punk Rocker for helping me reach this major milestone.   She requested/said: “You can write about music, good or bad, too.”

Well, how did I do?

…..

Are you a faithful kingdomite?  Do you have a request?  Let me know in the comments and I’ll see what I can put together for you.  (And for all those who already have their requests in, don’t worry, I have them all written down and I’m already working on them.  Your posts are coming.)

it should have been a dark day

 photo park_zpse7952f1e.jpg

credit to – Indy Kethdy

It was a beautiful day.  The leaves had started changing color a few weeks before and as autumn came on in full force they fell from their lofty perches to settle onto the still green lawn.  The sun filtered through the trees, warming the afternoon after the morning chill, and the light made everything stand out in brilliant contrasts and splashes of color.  It was the kind of scene that made you stop and take notice.

It seemed all wrong.

It should have been raining, or overcast at least, to match the mood of all those in attendance.  It seemed disrespectful of the sun to shine so brightly when their hearts were full of gloom.  It felt off to want to enjoy the day, to notice the beauty of it, when sadness ruled their thoughts.  How could the universe not feel the loss as well?  How could it so blatantly disregard their misery?  Why would it be so defiant?

He cursed under his breath as he helped his brothers lift the coffin onto their shoulders.  No, the sun should not have been shining on the day they buried their father.  The setting should not have been so beautiful.

Silence fell across the green as they carried their charge forward to its final resting place.

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Hooray for another picture writing prompt provided by moi.  What do you see when you look at the picture?  Write it up and link it up so we can all find you!

have a bawl

I was tired this morning on my way too work, and when I’m tired I find I’m more emotional (read: I cry a whole lot easier) than when I’m fully rested.

That’s right, I cry. I have no problem admitting that.

We aren’t talking full on sob sessions (and so what if we were), but my eyes will water up and spill over the edges on occasion while watching movies, reading books, listening to music, telling stories…  It happens.

This morning, listening to Bruce Springsteen sing “This Hard Land,” I had to wipe my eyes:

Hey frank won’t ya pack your bags
And meet me tonight down at liberty hall
Just one kiss from you my brother
And we’ll ride until we fall
We’ll sleep in the fields
We’ll sleep by the rivers and in the morning
We’ll make a plan
Well if you can’t make it
Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive
If you can
And meet me in a dream of this hard land

There are a couple things going on here:

First, he is calling out “Frank,” which always brings to mind “Jessie.”  (You know, Frank and Jessie James.)  So, there’s history, and family, and life and death, and all the romance I ascribe to the old west all rolled into that one word.  Who among us hasn’t made believe at one time in our lives that we were these notorious outlaws robbing a bank or train, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, watching each other’s backs, protected by family and friends and tradition?  So, with all that now running through my head, we proceed into the rest of the stanza.

The second hit comes from: “Just one kiss from you my brother, and we’ll ride until we fall.”  I haven’t always been close with my brother, there were a couple years where we didn’t talk much at all.  But, since then, we have become much closer.  This line resonates with me.  I know, either way, if one of us needed the other, we’d be there to whatever end.  Without question.  Without complaint.  Guns blazing if needed.  At this point I can already feel the pressure behind my eyes as my tear ducts are starting to do there thing.

Then it all comes together with the third and final stressor on my (fragile?) emotional state with the final lines: “stay alive, if you can, and meet me in a dream of this hard land.”  If you can?  If you can!  That’s it, I’m done, I can’t stop the tears from coming.  Life is a struggle, there are always going to be challenges, but there is hope, there is something wonderful about meeting those adventures head on with someone by your side, there is more going on in those lines than I have the words to capture.

From there, on my drive, I moved on to thinking about the other lines from my life that I can’t help but cry when I hear them (see them):

For Love of the Game – written on the baseball – “Tell them I’m through, ‘for love of the game’, Billy Chapel”

Schindler’s List – Oskar Schindler (Liam Neeson) – “I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don’t know. If I’d just… I could have got more.”

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) – “Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them.”

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – Jason Tully (Willis Bouchey) – “Nothing’s too good for the man who shot Liberty Valance.”

Zulu – Adendorff (Gert van den Bergh) –  “They’re… they’re saluting you. They’re saluting fellow braves. They’re saluting you.”

Five seems like enough for today.  And now, of course, I want to watch each of these films again.  If you haven’t seen them, add them to your must watch lists.  That’s an official kingdom proclamation.