older brothers are confusing

Charles put down the comic book, his eyes wild with mischief and his mouth twisted in a matching grin, and he pushed himself off his bed.  He quickly raided his closet and changed into a mash up of costumes from the past several Halloweens.  He checked his appearance in the mirror hanging behind his door and continued changing articles here and there until he was satisfied with his look.  Then he pulled open the door with a resounding thud and raced through the house trumpeting, “I am Galactus.  I am the devourer.  Earth is mine!”  With a maniacal laugh he flew out the front door, slamming it shut in his wake.

Cody, playing quietly in the room adjacent to his older brother’s, snuck to his own bedroom door to ensure that Charles had in fact left and wasn’t playing some trick on him.  He’d fallen victim to too many of his brother’s shenanigans recently to take anything Charles did at face value.  However, as Cody confirmed he was safe for the moment, a look of confusion crossed his small face, “The devourer?  Earth is his?  He’s an earth eater?”

He returned to his playing shaking his head.  Charles was so silly.  Cody never knew what his brother was going to be like from one day to the next.   Cody had just offered him some mud pies the day before and Charles hadn’t had any interest, but today it seemed he had changed his mind.

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Short and silly, but hopefully it got a chuckle or two out of you.  This was written in response to this week’s Inspiration Monday writing challenge:

The Rules

There are none. Read the prompts, get inspired, write something. No word count minimum or maximum. You don’t have to include the exact prompt in your piece, and you can interpret the prompt(s) any way you like.

OR

No really; I need rules!

Okay; write 200-500 words on the prompt of your choice. You may either use the prompt as the title of your piece or work it into the body of your piece. You must complete it before 6 pm CST on the Monday following this post.

The Prompts:

COST OF LIVING

EARTH EATER

ORANGE JUMPSUIT

UNREAD

SECOND BEST

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I know you want to play along with the silliness, and there are some great prompt words this week.  So… what are you waiting for?  Pick one, write a post, link it up, and share it with the rest of us!

Guest Post: Why can’t they get this one right?

I wax philosophical over on 33 Grams of Blog regarding comic book movies and one in particular they just can’t seem to do justice to. Go check it out!

 

(Comments closed here to get y’all to start up the discussion over there.)

33 Grams of Blog

Please welcome Matticus to 33 Grams of Blog. As some of you know, I’ve visited Matticus over at The Matticus Kingdom on a couple of occasions and, in return, he has made me the First Knight over his realm. Well, today he’s paying me a visit. Matticus is a man of many faces. He’s the husband of the Queen, the father of the Prince, a great writer, and an awesome guy. He’s 33 grams of Jester. Once you read this, please go over and visit the Kingdom. Check out the rest of his awesomesauce.

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Guest Post: The Hook offers up some travel advice

Please welcome Niagara bellman: The Hook.  You know him, you love him, you’ve laughed with him and at him, and you know there is nobody else you could possibly trust with travel advice, because he literally has seen it all. 

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We all know why I’m here: our host is out and about, so he has sent out the “Bloggers, Assemble!” call for guest posts.

And here is my response.

THE HOOK’S GOLDEN RULES OF TRAVEL.

#1)  EMBRACE THE PURE JOY THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM LETTING GO…

Of whatever it is that’s weighing you down at home. Such as:

• Crazy in-laws that make the couple from Everybody Loves Raymond look sane.
• Kids that sometimes act as though they’ve pledged their little souls to Beelzebub.
• A boss that is Beelzebub.
• An ever-growing pile of bills that threatens to overtake the national deficit.
• A schedule that prevents you from actually enjoying life; never mind finding time for a little “quality time” with your spouse, you can barely squeeze out some quality time with yourself! Pun intended.

So after you’ve melted your credit card booking the trip, you have an even bigger hurdle to conquer. And don’t kid yourself, certain problems won’t disappear during your trip: they’ll intensify!

If your kids are out-of-control (and whose aren’t at times?), you’re going to have to lay down the law long before you let them accompany you.  Most of us remember being in the back of the car and cowering in fear of our folks; you knew you were going to have trouble sitting back down for days if you pushed Dad too far. Nowadays, kids don’t have the fear of God instilled in them prior to embarking on the road.

Fear is a great motivator, folks.

Somewhere along the way we forgot just why our parents were such taskmasters in the first place.

Besides the kids, there may be trouble with the person sitting beside you that can drive you batty. If you bicker at home, you may kill each other when you’re away together! Seriously, I’ve seen couples hauled away in handcuffs – and not the type of cuffs they had planned on using during their trip….

So do whatever you have to do, but get your house in order before you leave your house. I know it won’t be easy, but let the family know the stakes are high. Let them know you’ll be impossible to live with if things go awry. Let them know you’ll murder them if they decide to get in the way of your fun.

Violence is also a great motivator.

Moving on, remember to leave the office when you leave the office. A few years ago, it would have been unusual to see a laptop on a bell cart. Now it’s strange to see someone who doesn’t have an electronic tether of some sort attached to them. I see it all the time; Dad sends the family on their way while he stays in the room or lobby to take an “important” phone call or set up a Skype session on a tablet.

Or worse yet, I’ve seen more than one family sell their collective soul to the demi-gods of Silicon Valley and allow them selves to be drawn in by their devices. I recently rode down to the lobby from the top floor with a family of  five – every one of whom was glued to their phones.

So much for creating precious family memories that stand the test of time. Checking in with perfect strangers on Facebook is much more important anyway.

Trust me guys, push your family away too often and you’ll wind up living in a bachelor apartment watching a crappy TV while a package of hot dogs thaws in the sink. If you absolutely have to call the office, do it first thing in the morning and then turn the Smartphone off. You may not like letting go of the Rat Race, but it sure beats the alternative.

To sum up, before you leave the house you need to pack your luggage, but leave your baggage at home.

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Baggage?  Luggage?  Wait… The bellman is making a joke about what?  Did anyone else catch that?

And now that you’ve been hooked, go and check out his site for more travel advice, hotel madness, comic book call outs and pretty much anything else you could possibly be looking for:
http://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/my-crazy-bellman-life-myths-and-facts/
http://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/my-man-of-steel-review-in-ten-super-bullet-points/
http://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/an-open-letter-to-ellen-degeneres/

Revis prompts me to ramble about movies

Revis asked: If you could make a sequel to any movie that doesn’t already have one, what would it be, and what would it be about?

I spent a whole lot more time pondering these questions than I thought I would.  With the vast catalog of movies constantly rumbling around in my brain I thought it would be super easy to pick one where the ending had begged for a sequel that had never been delivered.

Unfortunately, as is often the case with the mind of a jester, I went straight to joke answers.  For example:  There should definitely be a sequel to Spiderman 2 (there was, of course, but the third movie was so terrible that I refuse to recognize it.)  Or, there should definitely be a sequel to The Return of the Jedi (while these haven’t been made yet, the rights have been purchased and it is only a matter of time before the next trilogy gets rolled out).  Or, they should definitely make Dragons of Winter Night into a movie…  That one probably means a lot less to most of you, but those who watched the terrible Dragons of Autumn Twilight Movie understand that it really wouldn’t have been good for them to make the sequel – they would need to just start the whole thing over – either with better animators, or with a live action cast.  The story deserves better.

So…  you see, my mind tumbled from one joke answer to the next, which did nothing to help me come up with how to actually respond to Revis’ prompt.

Currently my mind is spinning around all the movies where the ending felt unfinished, hanging, and where I was furious that they had ended the way they did.  Often this happens in most of the anime series I watch – I never like the endings, because they don’t “end” but then they also don’t have any new episodes to continue the story line, leaving me feeling incomplete.  “What happens next?!”  I felt the same way at the end of the Harry Potter series (more the books than the movies), okay great (spoiler alert) the good guys win, but then what?  What adventures does he have after the fact?  I want more!

Still, I think I can do better than that.  I’m going to cut myself off from superhero movies altogether, and movies based on books, and anything that is part of a series already.  Where does that leave me?  What genre should I pick?  Would we want a sequel to So I Married An Axe Murderer?  Would we want a sequel to Contact?  Or Signs?  Or Sixth Sense for that matter?  How about learning what happens after The Day After Tomorrow?  Would we want to know if the love stories worked out in the end with sequels for Notting Hill or Love Actually?  What would the next chapters in Lost in Translation or The Royal Tenenbaums look like?  So many movies, so many unanswered questions, so many story lines that could be.

And now this is getting a bit long so I need to wrap it up… make a choice… get it down and explain it away…  I better reread the prompt:

If you could make a sequel to any movie that doesn’t already have one, what would it be, and what would it be about?

If I could make a sequel to any movie that doesn’t already have one, I would write the next scenes after the final credits rolled on Wall-E.  The movie would tell a tale of Wall-E and EVA helping the humans figure out how to survive on Earth.  The first half would consist of trying to wean people off the ships automated food services as they waited for plants to grow, relinquishing their chairs and getting healthy working in the soil under the sun, and relearning how to communicate face to face, resolve issues, fall in love, etc…  The second half of the movie the characters would face the major problem of having to protect their crops from the raging dust storms, and ward off an attempted mutiny by some of the passengers who didn’t trust that they could survive on Earth and tried to figure out how to get the ship up and fully operational again (including turning AUTO back on).  There would be laughs, and drama, and tears, and a cockroach that never gets squished.

What sequel would you make?  (Make sure you link back to Revis’ post when you answer.)

The Q and A Game

Need it, want it, got to have more, here you go.

There may just be another theme* brewing here, let’s see if you can spot it!

As you know, over the years I’ve incorporated an absolute ton of movie dialogue into my day-to-day lingo.  An absurd amount it would seem.  Some of you may have even begun to question if anything I say on that “day-to-day” basis isn’t stolen straight from the silver screen.  Well, I’ll have it be known that I do on occasion come with something unique on my own.  At least once or twice a year…

I’ve used most of these and in a way I’m proud to say that:

Q: What do you say when you’ve just defeated someone in a game of any kind and they immediately ask for a rematch?
A: “Didn’t I kill you already?”
– Hellboy (Ron Perlman) – Hellboy

Q: What do you say when you hear people talking about something that doesn’t sit quite right with you?
A: “No accounting for taste, really.”
– Satan (Peter Stormare) – Constantine

Q: What do you say when you are talking to someone who needs a pep talk?
A: “Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.”
– Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) – Watchmen

Q: What do you say when the world around you seems to be falling apart?
A: “I still believe in heroes.”
– Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) – The Avengers

Q: What do you say to someone who has just recently acquired some serious competition at their job?
A: “Listen, Mr. Luthor, maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?”
– Otis (Ned Beatty) – Superman

Q: What do you say when the final hitch in your plan pops up and completely derails you?
A: “And everything seemed to be going so well.”
– Dwight (Clive Owen) – Sin City

Q: After losing the rematch in the game you are playing with a friend, what do you say?
A: “Hey, bub, I’m not finished with you yet.”
– Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) – X-Men

Q: What do you say when someone asks what you are planning to do over the coming weekend?
A: “Kato, we have a secret mission.”
– Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) – Green Hornet

Q: What do you say when someone catches you in an awkward situation?
A: “Let’s face it, this is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.”
– Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) – Iron Man

Q: What do you say when a friend asks you for “love” advice?
A: “The moment you think you know what’s going on in a woman’s head is the moment your goose is well and truly cooked.”
– Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper) – Captain America

Hooray for Friday Q and A Silliness!  Wasn’t that fun?  I had fun.  I’m the jester, I always have fun.  It’s who I am.

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So, the theme this time around should have been super obvious.  Did you see what I did there: “super.”  Also, I even included “super heroes” in one of the answers.  Plus, all of the movie titles should have made it kind of obvious that it was a comic book turned movie theme.  Good stuff, right?  I thought so too.  Thanks again for playing along.  Oh, and lest we forget, here there be monsters, and super heroes.  And don’t try this at home kids.