The Neverending Q and A

"Oh no she didn't!"  *snap, snap, snap*

Tsk, tsk, I haven’t even gotten on to any themes yet!  Soon there will be superhero movie Q and A’s, and western movie Q and A’s, and baseball movie Q and A’s, and…  Well, you get the point, because you’ve already been following the madness here, and here, and here, and here.  Once I’ve completely exhausted movies, I can just pick up a few books and send the series that way.  Once I’m done with books I can listen to a few more albums and send the series that way.  By then I’ll have watched a whole new slew of movies to have pulled dialogue from and the cycle will being again.

Muahahahahahaha.
Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Now, where are my sharks with the laser beams attached to their heads?
(Dr. Evil, Austin Powers, as if you didn’t already know.)

Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of film dialogue into my day to day lingo.  The following is a useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.

You probably shouldn’t ever use most of these.*  However, I’ve used many of them and the rest I’m just waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Q: (This one should be pretty obvious) What do you say when someone asks how long you are going to be able to carry on with a particular endeavor?
A: “For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver!”
– Squints (Chauncey Leopardi) – Sandlot

Q: What do you say when someone asks what you think about a touchy subject?
A: “There’s no right, there’s no wrong, there’s only popular opinion.”
– Jeffery Goines (Brad Pitt) – Twelve Monkeys

Q: What do you say when you see something naming something ridiculous – their lawnmower for example?
A: “Men get such hardons from putting their names on things. You guys don’t grow up. It’s like you need to pee on everything.”
– Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) – Up in the Air

Q: What do you say when you need to give yourself a timeout?
A: “Excuse me. I think I had better be where other people are not.”
– Charles (Hugh Grant) – Four Weddings and a Funeral

Q: What do you say when someone says that something about you seems different?
A: “I’m wearing new shoes.”
– Dave (Jay Baruchel) – Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Q: What do you say when you are doing something you know you shouldn’t be but it still feels so right?
A: “I am a baaaad man.”
– Mephis (Nicolas Cage) – Gone in Sixty Seconds

Q: What do you say when someone says they are down on their luck?
A: “Never give up and good luck will find you.”
– Falcor (Alan Oppenheimer) – The Neverending Story

Q: What do you say when someone says they can’t beleive what they just witnessed?
A: “You just saw three monkeys go by on a motorcycle, didn’t you?”
– Sarah Whittle (Bonnie Hunt) – Jumanji

Q: What do you say when someone asks why you do something, especially if they know it is something you don’t enjoy doing?
A: “Because I’ve got a gift.”
– Charles Remington (Michael Douglas) – The Ghost and the Darkness

Q: What do you say when someone attempts something they shouldn’t have and it didn’t work out well for them?
A: “You wanted to go through the looking glass. How was it? Was it more fun than miniature golf?”
– Scott (Val Kilmer) – Spartan

…..

*The Matticus Kingdom published this list for entertainment purposes only.  We do not dispense with advice we think people should ever heed and cannot be held responsible for any resulting slaps across the face, puzzled looks, loss of friends, tarnished reputation, improved reputation for that matter, closets that were once skeleton free no longer being so, or other unpleasantness that may result from following these guidelines.  Proceed at your own risk, here there be monsters.  Don’t try this at home kids.  Insert additional typical “hold harmless” verbiage here.  Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bunch of movie quotes.  The quotes blew their minds and that’s all she wrote.  Yes, these weekly posts may just last “for-ev-ver.”

Q and A Parody Madness, on the rocks

I’m being overrun by madness herehereherehere, …

Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of film dialogue into my day to day lingo.  The following is a useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.

You probably shouldn’t ever use most of these.*  However, I’ve used many of them and the rest I’m just waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Q: What do you say when someone says they hurt themselves?
A: “Let me take your mind off the pain.”  (At this point I really, really, really don’t recommend breaking their finger.  Don’t do it.)
– Maj. Benson Payne (Damon Wayans) – Major Payne

Q: What do you say when someone asks a really good question?
A: “That, is the right question.”
– Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell) – I, Robot

Q: What do you say when someone asks how you got so good at what you do?
A: “I was trained by the best. British intelligence. But in retrospect I would rather have been a poet. Or a farmer.”
– John Mason (Sean Connery) – The Rock

Q: What do you say when you see mob mentality starting to overrun humanity?
A: “That’s a lot of cows.”
– Hatcher (Christopher Walken) – The Rundown

Q: What do you say when someone says they are too scared to do something?
A: “That’s why no-one will remember your name.”  (You could also just yell “Hector” a whole bunch of times.  That would work too.)
– Achilles (Brad Pitt) – Troy

Q: What do you say if someone asks if you want to go out dancing?
A: “Computer, define dancing’.”
– Captain (Jeff Garlin) – Wall-E

Q: What do you say when someone is talking to you and getting on your very last nerve?
A: “I don’t know what it is about you, but the more you talk, the more you give me the willies.”
– Frank James (Sam Shepard) – The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Q: What do you say when someone asks how much longer you are going to carry on with an activity, if you have a limit?
A: “I guess I just haven’t reached mine yet.”
– The Punisher (Dolph Lundgren) – The Punisher

Q: What do you say when you run into someone you haven’t seen in a long time?
A: “Carl? Carl! Merry Christmas! How is it we’re always talking on Christmas, Carl? Every Christmas, I’m talking to you!”
Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) – Catch Me if You Can

Q: What do you say when you find yourself lost and going in circles while in the car?
A: “Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament… again.”
– Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) – National Lampoon’s European Vacation

…..

*The Matticus Kingdom published this list for entertainment purposes only.  We do not dispense with advice we think people should ever heed and cannot be held responsible for any resulting slaps across the face, puzzled looks, loss of friends, tarnished reputation, improved reputation for that matter, closets that were once skeleton free no longer being so, or other unpleasantness that may result from following these guidelines.  Proceed at your own risk, here there be monsters.  Don’t try this at home kids.  Insert additional typical “hold harmless” verbiage here.