Sinking Deeper

Old stuff again but still living it.

This first time
You beckon me with your open arm.
You beckon me with your cunning charm.
I see
I believe
I embrace you and succumb to your warmth.
I float this first time.

This second time
You beckon me with your open arm.
You beckon me with your cunning charm.
I see
I believe
I embrace you and succumb
to what I believe to what
will be your warmth.
Instead the warmth is replaced
by an icy grip.
Against my will, This time I sink.
This second time.

This third time.
You bexkon me with your open arm.
You beckon me with your cunning charm.
I see
I want to believe
I tentatively embrace you.
I once again succumb to your icy grip
I sink deeper
this third time.

All these times,
you beckon me with your open arm.
You beckon me with your cunning charm.
I no longer want to see.
I no longer believe.
Yet I still embrace you.
I still sucxumb to your icy grip.
I sink deeper aand deeper.

I wonder when I will touch bottom.

1j1

cursed

I’ve never seen red, not in the way the saying is meant.
Though I have bled, my knuckles were split and spent.
I’ve never flown into a white-hot murderous rage.
Though I have thrown hateful hexes as a dark mage.
I’ve never choked the life away from a mortal enemy.
Though I have wrapped my hands around a neck painfully.

I’m not prim and proper and everything nice most of the time.
I’m losing battles to my demons without reason or rhyme.
I’m cursed in a waged war against my fire-fueled temper.
I’m cursed to hurt those I hold closest, hold most dear.

I’ve never thrown a punch in anger, at a person anyway.
Though I have lashed out at walls, my fists made them pay.
I’ve never, deserved or not, truly tried to murder anyone.
Though, if they had power, my hurled words would have done.
I’ve never not regretted my outbursts after each lost battle.
Though I have relished the release that lets my soul rattle.

I’m not prim and proper and everything nice most of the time.
I’m losing battles to my demons without reason or rhyme.
I’m cursed in a waged war against my fire-fueled temper.
I’m cursed to hurt those I hold closest, hold most dear.

I’ve shown glimpses of the raging fire licking at my core.
Though I’ve never admitted how it always craves more.
I’ve shown glimpses of my truth in my darkest fiction.
Though I’ve never admitted it might truly be an addiction.
I’ve shown glimpses, here and there, for those who looked.
Though I’ve never admitted, not yet anyway, I’m hooked.

I’m not the Mr. Nice Guy everyone wants me to be.
I’m wouldn’t want to even if it were a possibility.
I’m cursed in a waged war against society.
I’m cursed because I think differently.

a need

He met the dealer on the corner, as he’d been instructed to do.

He’d finally broken free of the morals that had been taught at him from his childhood, and took a taste at a friends party a few weeks back.  He’d been warned that it could be addictive but he’d just puffed up his chest and replied those sorts of things didn’t happen to him.  Except, they had.  He’d never had anything so divine.

The tasting had turned into a sampling.  The sampling had morphed into a craving over the days that followed.  And, as the addiction settled in, the craving turned into a need.  He had reached out to his friend, the one that had originally offered him the taste, and the friend had told him how to contact the dealer.

And, so, when the need grew too great to ignore, he had.

The soft light from the nearby street lamp bathed their brief exchange in an ethereal glow.  Part of him couldn’t believe how quickly things had escalated.  A month before he couldn’t have imagined ever meeting a dealer on the street at midnight in a questionable part of town.  A month before he didn’t truly understand the words “need” and “addiction.”

“Do you have any garlic?”  He whispered and winced as his voice carried in the darkness.  His head twitched as his eyes danced up and down the streets, peering into every shadow.

“That’s an illegal spice, man, I don’t trade in that.  Wouldn’t you rather have some Molly, Mickey, or Mary?”

He shook his head defiantly.  “No, only garlic will do.”  He hadn’t even heard of the other three.  They didn’t interest him at all.  Not yet, anyway.

The dealer began to walk away, “You look like a cop to me, man.  And, if you ain’t, this is no place for someone like you to be.  Go home and sleep it off.”

“Please,” he begged, his voice quivered as the depth of his need poured out of him.

The dealer stopped and turned back.  He recognized that need.  It was what set the true customers apart from the cops.  “Okay, man, I can set you straight.  How much you want?”

“How much do you have?”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I think I’m hungry this morning.  Everything I want to write has to do with food.  Perhaps I should go find some of that and set myself straight?  In the meantime, as if you hadn’t already guessed, this bit of silliness was in response to the current Inspiration Monday writing challenge:

Inspiration Monday logo

The Rules

There are none. Read the prompts, get inspired, write something. No word count minimum or maximum. You don’t have to include the exact prompt in your piece, and you can interpret the prompt(s) any way you like.

OR

No really; I need rules!

Okay; write 200-500 words on the prompt of your choice. You may either use the prompt as the title of your piece or work it into the body of your piece. You must complete it before 6 pm CST on the Monday following this post.

The Prompts:

SQUANDERED VISION

SEE IN THE DARK

BROKEN  CLOCK

ILLEGAL SPICE

ORNITHOPTER

So, dear kingdomites, tell me, what do you need?

come on lads!

Am I sports fan?  What does fandom mean to me?

You obviously haven’t been paying attention…

So, we’re going to sit here and sing “Glory, Glory, Man United” until it sinks in.  Wait, hold that thought, I need to go get my jersey, scarf and beanie for the full affect.  And, yes, I do wear those when I watch games on TV.  Because how else will the team now I’m supporting them?

Paraphernalia is meaningless though… Any casual fan can pick up a jersey and throw it on to watch the games.  Any casual fan can pick up the songs and chants and incorporate those into their daily lives.  But, I am not a casual fan.  I will wake up at 4AM on the weekend to watch games live.  I could record them and watch them at a more reasonable hour… but live is so much better.  That’s where the magic is.  No mere casual fan would do that.

However, you are right, I’ve never been to Manchester.  I’ve never been to Old Trafford.  I’ve never gotten to see my beloved Red Devils storm the pitch in the flesh.  One day I will.  That’s the best I can do for now.

In the meantime, while I’m saving my pennies and waiting for the prince to get a little older, I’m going to say scream sing call out “LA” and if you could please provide the appropriate response of “Galaxy” that would be fantastic.  Ready?  Here we go:

LA!

…..

Hmm… I couldn’t hear you… but I’m going to assume that’s just because I’m too far away and not because you didn’t loudly and proudly shout it out, and definitely not because you didn’t even open your mouth and say it at all.  You wouldn’t do that to me.

My hometown team, the LA Galaxy, formerly of David Beckham fame, are my go-to source for local soccer, football, footy, what have you.  I wear the jersey and the scarf and the beanie.  I know the chants and the call and response routines.  I go to the games and get lost in the frenzied madness and excitement of that atmosphere – there is nothing like being the twelfth man.  Even the queen has a jersey and comes out to the games, my enthusiasm, my fandom, has rubbed off on her.

And the little prince?  Let us not forget about him!  He already has a jersey style onesie, and he will wear it well…. as soon as he is big enough for it.

Come on lads!  This isn’t just a kick-about.  Get it up the wings, get those passes snapping in faster, get it in the box!  Shoot the ball!  I want to see that net bulge!  I need those goals.  I need those three points.

I’m a three points junkie!