Revis Saves the Kingdom…. From Matticus

Matticus couldn’t believe his luck. There were signs up all around the castle saying that there were free tacos. And it wasn’t even Tuesday!!!

He had just passed his fifth sign with an arrow pointing him in the direction of the free tacos. The further along he went, the more he started getting a bad feeling about this. Something about it didn’t feel right. The next sign was pointing him towards the dungeon. Something was definitely not right here.

But, he wasn’t about to give up. Not when there could be free tacos at stake.

Right after the last sign, the tacos came into view. He rushed forward to grab them. That’s when he noticed that he’d just ran into a cell. The door slammed shut behind him. His hand reached out for the tacos and, as soon as he touched them, he knew he’d been tricked. He turned around to a faceful of bars and his First Knight, Revis, standing on the outside of the cell.

“Those tacos aren’t real,” Matticus protested. “They’re papier-mache!”

“That’s the part you’re mad at?” Revis answered. “Not the part where I locked you in a cell?”

“You don’t tease someone with tacos! That’s not right!”

“If you want to get technical, those signs were entirely accurate. No matter what they’re made of, they’re still tacos, and they’re yours to keep. So, I didn’t lie to you.”

“I suppose that’s true. Ok, fine you win. You tricked me into a cell. Ha ha. You’ve had your fun, now let me out.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ve done the people of the Kingdom wrong, and as the First Knight, it is my duty to protect the people of the Kingdom from everyone who would do them harm. Even you.”

“What are you talking about? What have I done to the people of the Kingdom?”

“You put in an automated system to handle the Kingdom’s information hotline instead of having real, live people handle the calls.”

Matticus laughed. “Would you expect anything less from the Jester?!”

“How can you defend this action? It is a horrible, vile thing that puts you on par with some of the world’s most evil villains. I may not be the best person out there, but I would never inflict an automated phone system on anyone. You should be ashamed of yourself…”

“Simple answer: I am an evil person.”

“And this is why I must overthrow you. To save the Kingdom from your evil tyranny.”

“Good luck.”

“What do you mean, ‘Good luck’? I’ve already captured you. You’re already in jail.”

“That is…. a fair point. So, now what?”

“Now, Jester, you are to be punished in a manner that will make evildoers think twice before they commit any misdeeds in the Kingdom again.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Yes. You will be forced to watch the kindergarteners of the Kingdom sing the song ‘Baby Shark’ 55,378,008 times in a row.”


“After that, you will be released and, if you commit another crime, you will be forced to watch the animated version of Dragons of Autumn Twilight for two straight weeks.”


A Thank You To All

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you to everyone who played along with our silliness. Thank you for everyone who read, and commented, and even wrote their own additions to the storyline. And thank you to Revis, who wrote all the funny parts, all the action scenes, and all the plot twists. The story itself was even his idea! Honestly… I’m not sure what I contributed at all. Anyway, if you enjoyed the Save the Kingdom series make sure you show some love to all the guests who made it that much more special!

33 Grams of Blog

As you know, Matticus and I just finished up a story in which we saved his Kingdom from sparkly vampires. Along the way, we ran into many of our fellow bloggers. These are all amazing people. Not only did they make the writing process fun, they were also very good sports about the whole thing.

There are a few of our fellow bloggers who we would like to give extra special thanks to:

First and foremost, we’d like to thank Goldfish for agreeing to be our villain. Every good story needs a good villain, and you were the best, my fishy friend.

We’d also like to give thanks to Faithhopechocolate, who took the time to write her own story about the happenings in the Kingdom. Your adventure is a welcome addition to the Kingdom’s legends.

Last in this category, but certainly not least, is another blogger who was awesome…

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Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom, Chapter 33

Matticus didn’t have time to check on his Knight.  He had to hope that Revis’ cry of pain didn’t mean he’d lost the duel, and didn’t mean that Goldfish would have the energy and mental strength to cast a spell that could repel his attack.

His anger fueled his legs.  The miles that he and Revis had crossed no longer weighed them down.  The atrocities they had witnessed and the battles they’d fought gave him purpose.  The belief that the end of the war, that the kingdom would once again be safe, gave him renewed purpose, and he closed the distance with a speed he hadn’t know he was capable of.

Brandishing his sword, Matticus prepared to strike Goldfish with the flat of the blade.  He was happy to see her eyes go wide with surprise as he began to bring the swing around.  Just before his attacking blow landed, he had a moment of doubt.

He should have saved something in reserve in case she was able to defend the first attack.  It was too late, though.  His rage and speed had taken him too far to change tactics.  In a heartbeat he would know if the attack had been a mistake or not.

A bright light flashed as his sword was stopped by an invisible sphere surrounding the sorceress. The force of the blow allowed the sphere to be seen by all in the room. Sharp, shrieking voices cried out as cracks started appearing in the mystical shield. Then, the voices erupted all at once as the magic holding the sphere together exploded.

Matticus opened his eyes to find that he was now halfway across the throne room.  His ears were ringing and his head now pounded. As he raised himself up onto his hands and knees, he saw that Goldfish had been thrown by the blast, as well. She was making her way off the floor, looking around for the one person who was unaccounted for.

Revis was nowhere to be seen.

The Jester knew he needed to keep Goldfish occupied so his Knight could do whatever he needed to do. All he had to do was clear his head first. So, he tried to shake the cobwebs out as he finished getting to his feet.  His head wasn’t completely clear, but he didn’t have time to wait until it was.

He charged at the sorceress, with his sword held high, as he shouted his battle cry, “SPOON!”

“What the ….,” Goldfish’s jaw dropped.  In the face of the Jester’s ridiculous charge she almost lost her nerve and froze.  But, she regained her composure with enough time to calmly side-step Matticus.

“That’s your battle cry?”  She mocked with a mixture of disbelief and rage.  Equal parts laughter and fire danced behind her bewitching eyes.

Having turned around to once again face the sorceress, panting after the exertion, his head still throbbing from the blast seconds before, Matticus took a moment to steady himself.  “Of course…  A spoon is dull.  When I land a blow it will hurt more than you think.”

Goldfish rolled her eyes.  “Before I kill you.  Do you have anything original to say, or are you just going to quote others?”

As she taunted the Jester she kept scanning the room looking for any sign of movement so she could get a fix on the Knight.  It was frustrating her, and scaring her, that she couldn’t see through whatever magical means he was using to stay hidden.  At the same time she was frantically rebuilding her warding shields.

Matticus leveled his sword at Goldfish, the flames flared along the razor sharp edge, dancing in the swirling air currents of the room.  “Your reign of terror is nearly at an end, Fishie.”

Goldfish began moving her hands in the beginnings of one of her spells when her eyes suddenly got big. Revis appeared out of the shadows behind her, stabbing both of his daggers at her heart. The blades were slightly deflected by the few wards the sorceress enacted, but they still sank deeply into Goldfish’s back. Injured, the mermaid sank to the ground.

“How,” she asked the Knight in confusion. “I would’ve seen you if you turned yourself invisible.”

With a smirk, Revis replied, “That’s why I didn’t turn myself invisible.” When neither Goldfish or Matticus seemed to understand what he was getting at, he continued, “What do you think I did before I got the ring? I hid in the shadows of the room. I became invisible without actually becoming invisible. Just because I haven’t had to do it since I got the ring doesn’t mean I forgot how to do it.”

Revis knelt down next to the sorceress and put his blades up to her throat. “It’s time to end this,” he stated, preparing to strike.

“Wait” Matticus commanded.

The Knight raised an eyebrow at the Jester, but did as he was told and stayed his hand.

“Do we have to kill her?”

“As long as she is living she will be a threat to the kingdom, a threat to my daughter, a threat to the little prince.  Yes, we have to kill her.”

Matticus frowned and bit his lip.  “Isn’t there a way we can send her through the portals and trap her in a different world, a phantom zone, or something like that?”

“A phantom zone?” Revis mused.  “That’s an interesting idea, and it may be feasible.  But, why don’t we just kill her and then we don’t have to worry about her or her antics ever again?  She’s caused enough mayhem, the punishment fits the crimes she has committed.”



“Well, it just seems wrong to kill her for some reason.”

Goldfish let out a cackling laugh of derision, “Don’t want to get your hands dirty Jester.  You have no problem ruling the kingdom but you don’t actually know what it takes to rule successfully.  I could have made your kingdom ten times greater than you’d ever imagined.”

Revis pressed a little more firmly on the blades and Goldfish went silent again.  Then the Knight looked expectantly at Matticus, waiting for the word that would allow him to dispatch the sorceress one way or another. The decision was taken out of their hands, however.

With a cry of pain, Goldfish’s eyes rolled up into her head. Then, her body turned into fog and slowly faded away, leaving behind only a pool of blood from where the Knight had stabbed her. The Jester turned to Revis and asked, “That’s an awful lot of blood. Do you think we killed her?”

“I don’t know,” Revis answered honestly. “I’d like to think we ended the threat of Goldfish, but I’m not sure. This may just be another one of her tricks.”

The two men stood back to back, on the lookout for a reemergence of their foe, while gathering up their strength. Suddenly, the door burst open. Deb ran in, stopping right in front of Matticus. “Jester,” she began, out of breath, “You did it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what you two did, but it worked. All of the sparkly vampires disappeared right in front of our eyes a few minutes ago.”

“They’re all gone?”

“All of the ones in the castle are. The dragons said that they’ve received some magical communications saying that the sparkly vampires are disappearing from all over the kingdom.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Matticus looked at his Knight. “We did it, Revis. We finally did it. The Kingdom is finally back to the way it should be.”

The Jester motioned for Revis to follow him. As they walked towards  a balcony that overlooked the area around the castle, Revis said, “I hate to break your jubilant mood, but you realize that she may be back, right?”

“Yeah,” Matticus replied with a smile, “but I’m not going to dwell on that now. I’m just going to take joy in the fact that the kingdom is safe for now and this adventure is over.”

The two men, having reached the balcony, looked out at the horizon. In the distance, they could see the dragons, Rara and Grayson, flying free. For some reason, even though they had saved the entire kingdom, that seemed to be the most right thing of all.

Revis and Matticus Save The Kingdom Chapter 32

Revis and I are battling with Goldfish to save the kingdom once and for all. Head over to 33 Grams of Blog to see what happens next.

33 Grams of Blog

While Matticus had Goldfish distracted with his attack, Revis ran to retrieve his thrown daggers. Just as he closed his hand around the hilt of his second one, he heard Matticus cry out. He looked over in time to see the Jester slump to the ground. Whatever had happened between the two also threw Goldfish backwards.

She landed hard on her back, the air blasted from her lungs. Revis rushed towards her. He knew he had to get to her before she recovered and put her defenses back up. The Knight swung both daggers at her head, hilt first, hoping to knock the sorceress out.

By this time, Goldfish had regained enough of her wits to see the attacks coming and tried to block it. One dagger was deflected enough that it missed her head, although the blade did cut her arm. The other dagger’s hilt struck her just above…

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Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom Chapter 31

After the initial shock wore off, Matticus was immediately confused by Goldfish’s presence before him. “You’re a mermaid,” he stated. “How are you floating?”

“You aren’t the only people who have travelled through the portals. I went through one and found a group of other mermaids. They were able to float as if they were underwater, even though there were times when it seemed like they weren’t underwater. They called themselves ‘Bubble Guppies’.”

From out of nowhere, Steph appeared. “You’ve been to the Bubble Guppy world?”

Unsure of how to react to this sudden appearance, Goldfish hesitantly answered, “Yeah.”

“Where’s the portal?”

Goldfish pointed to a doorway off to the side of the room. Without a word, Steph walked over to the door and stepped through. Goldfish looked at Revis. Her expression showed that she wanted an explanation, but all he could do was shrug.

Suddenly, from the doorway, they heard a loud crashing sound. It was soon followed by the sounds of screaming. The screams were horrible, lasting for several minutes. All the three of them could do was try to cover their ears from the noise. When it was finally over, they all sighed in relief.

A minute later, Steph emerged from the portal, carrying a pole with a giant orange fish head speared through it. “They deserved that,” she explained, disappearing again as quickly as she came.

Matticus looked at the other two people and asked, “What the hell was that about?”

“Well…” Revis stalled.

Matticus raised his eyebrows demanding further explanation.  He flicked his eyes briefly to make sure Goldfish wasn’t going to attack them but she seemed just as interested in the knight’s answer.

After a minute of thought, Revis shrugged his shoulders again, “It’s Steph’s story to tell, not mine.  You’ll have to ask her.”

The Jester scowled and Goldfish rolled her eyes.  The tension in the room seemed to lift for a moment as the three of them eyed each other and considered laughing at what had just happened.

Before any of them ventured a chuckle, Matticus turned back to the sorceress, “Wait, if that was a mermaid that Steph just killed, well, more than one based on all that screaming, aren’t they somehow related to you?  Even if they are from a different world, they are still kin to you somehow, right?”

“What’s your point?”  She responded dryly.

“Aren’t you upset about it?”

Revis shot Matticus a look that was full of daggers, wondering why the Jester would be trying to get the sorceress riled up again, and Matticus ignored him.  He had a plan and getting her angry was the first step.

“Not really.  Sure we are, were, sort of related, but their graphic design was terrible.”

Off to the side, Jaded began to stir. “Ow,” she groaned as she started to rise. Setting her glare at Revis, she complained, “How many times do I have to kill you?”

With a mock bow, Revis replied, “My dear Jaded, you’ve been begging to get shanked for a while now. I’m just happy I was able to help you accomplish that goal.”

Jaded’s eyes narrowed in anger. Shrugging, Revis disappeared again. Turning, Jaded looked to Goldfish for help. Before she could actually ask, an invisible fist slammed into her temple. Once again, she was unconscious. His work done, Revis dropped his invisibility.

“You do know that she’s only did all this because I told her to, right,” Goldfish queried.

“People’s motives don’t concern me,” Revis answered. “If you threaten my family, I’m not going to stop and ask why. I’m going to do what I have to do to neutralize the threat.”

“So,” Matticus interrupted, “why didn’t you stay invisible and attack Goldfish?”

“Because she can see me while I’m invisible,” the Knight explained, giving the sorceress a slight nod.

“Well, that’s a convenient plot twist and highly annoying,” Matticus mumbled.  The Jester was going to say a few other things under his breath, but then latched on to what Goldfish had just said.  “Why were you using Jaded to overtake the Kingdom with sparkly vampires?  Why are you attacking me?”

“You aren’t a vampire,” Matticus continued before Goldfish could respond.  “Were you just using them as a tool to gain more power and eventually take over the kingdom for yourself?  Was this all just some diversion?  A game because you decided you were bored and wanted to spice things up?  What were you hoping to achieve?  What could possibly be worth the loss of life you set into motion?”

“Well,” Goldfish started to respond, shifting uncomfortably from her spot by the throne before being cut off by Matticus.

“You think it is easy ruling a kingdom?  Did you have a problem with some of my decisions?  Did you think you could do a better job?”

“Well,” Goldfish started again, and Matticus cut her off again.

“What reason could you possibly have that makes all this worthwhile?  There isn’t one.  There is nothing you can say to absolve you of everything that has lead to here.  There is nothing that can wipe this stain from your hands… um, fins?  Wait, I’m confused again.”

Goldfish’s eyes narrowed as she glared at the Jester.  Matticus turned expectantly to Revis and raised his arms in the universal “well, aren’t you going to do something gesture.”  When Revis shrugged his shoulders, Matticus rolled his eyes, “I was distracting her so you could attack her…”

This time, it was Revis who rolled his eyes. “That was your plan?”


“That was the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard.”

“Stupid?! It was working until you botched the timing of it.”

“Working? Really? You think it was working,” the Knight asked him. Turning to Goldfish, he questioned, “Did that distract you at all? Was his ‘plan’ working?”

Goldfish, not wanting to feel left out, rolled her eyes, as well. “This is the stupidest good guy/bad guy showdown ever. Seriously. Nothing is being accomplished right now.”

Both men just stared at her, waiting for her to actually answer the question. When she didn’t, Revis continued, “See? It didn’t distract her.”

“She didn’t say that,” Matticus argued. “She said…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Revis shoved him. It knocked him a number of step backwards, but the Jester was able to keep his feet. A look of rage crossed his face. “Shove me again and I’ll stick my sword up your…”

Quickly closing the gap, Matticus shoved Revis back. The Knight fell back, but rolled with the push and came up on his feet. He drew his other dagger and took a step towards the Jester.  A smile started playing across Goldfish’s face. It lasted only long enough for her to see Revis throw his dagger at her, with Matticus leaping after it.

The sorceress, trusting in her magic to deflect the thrown weapon, concentrated solely on the sword brandishing Jester.  As the dagger hit her barrier spell and spun around her to clank noisily against the throne, she began to mouth the words of the spell that would put an end to Matticus.  The magic flowed through her and she unleashed it from the tips of her outstretched arms.

Goldfish watched as the curse danced along the air, buzzing with power and death.  She felt as elated watching the proof of another successful spell as she had after her first spell.  The joy of getting to see, hear, and feel the magic working through her had never dimmed over the years.

Her eyes grew wide in expectation as the curse neared her attacker.  But, the Jester brought his flaming sword down just as the spell was about to reach him.  The flames on his sword burned a brilliant blue as they struck her curse and she was forced to look away.  A sizzling sound ripped at her ears and she screamed in pain.

Matticus, unaware that Goldfish had thrown a deadly curse at him, clung desperately to his sword as it vibrated in his hands.  His forward momentum had been halted mid-leap, and he hung suspended in air.  With a loud clap he was thrown backwards across the room and then everything went dark.