I may be a fool

I may be a fool, but I’m a loyal fool.
I may be a fool, but I’ve never tilted with windmills.
I may be a fool, but I am no Patchface.
I may be a fool, but it’s all in a day’s work for a jester.  Get it?  Got it.  Good.


Behold, Twindaddy, of Stuph™ fame (and fortune?) has graciously bestowed upon me the Loyal Reader Award.  You know, this:


Bask in its glory and awesomeness.

Bask some more!

Okay, that’s enough, you don’t want to get an award burn.  Nobody likes a crispy audience.

I’m sure there are rules I’m supposed to adhere to for this award, but, as it is Friday and I forgot to copy and paste them over, and I don’t really feel like it, I’m not going to do any of them.  Well, okay, I will do one of them – thank the person who gave me the award:

*spoken in the official Kingdom announcement voice*

Now, go forth and show Twindaddy some love. 

That is an official Matticus Kingdom edict, order, decree… whatever.  Just do it already.

Here, I’ll even start you off with some helpful links so you don’t have to do any work at all beyond clicking on these, clicking on the “like” buttons at the bottom of each, and clicking on the “follow” button while you are there.  You won’t regret it.


Oh, and he loves comments.  So, say a few things while you are there!

sun shining through the June gloom

I don’t know how it is in your part of the world these days, but here in the kingdom we are suffering from June gloom.  May was all bright, sunny, hot, and then June 1st rolled around and the world flipped a switch – cold, dreary mornings full of heavy fog that may or may not burn off so you can see the sun for a few minutes in the afternoon.

But then!!  (cue the dramatic music) Merry sent me some sunshine!!

Post the Sunshine Award logo.
Accept the nomination and link back to the nominator.
Answer the 11 questions.
Create 11 new questions.
Nominate ten other blogs and inform them of the nomination.

Merry’s questions:

1. Have you ever talked to the wildlife in your yard?
Of course.  Usually just the hummingbirds that come to visit.  My cats, however, talk to everything that finds its way into our little backyard.

2. What is your middle name?
The Matticus Kingdom…  seems pretty obvious to me…

3. What was your favorite subject in school?
Recess.  Does that count?  I really enjoyed my mechanical drawing classes in high school.  I enjoyed most of my sociology and psychology classes in college.  But, can I count those, they seem a bit obvious as my minor and major?  I’m not sure how to answer this question I guess.  I wasn’t the biggest fan of school.

4. Name one blogger that you think is funny. (No, it doesn’t have to be me, although how nice would that be!)
Merry makes me laugh so hard some time she snorts coffee out of her nose.  Yeah.  That’s right.

5. Do you think it is true that dogs smile?
All animals can smile!

6. Can you pick things up with your toes?

7. Have you ever written a check your ass can’t cash?

8. Beatles or Rolling Stones?
Stones… because while the Beatles were wanting to hold hands, the Stones were spending the night together.  (Merry, I’ll change my answer if my current one nullifies our friendship.)

9. Do you know how to do the Funky Chicken?
Officially?  Probably not.  But I can definitely flap my arms around in mimicry of what I think it is supposed to be.

10. What was your first car? 
VW Bug

11. Do you believe that if all the raindrops were lollipops and gumdrops, oh what a world it would be?
What a world, what a world, what a super sweet and wonderful world.  😉  Yeah, it’d be pretty awesome.  I mean, the dentists would be making bank off all the cavities, but everyone would certainly be nicer to everyone else.  I’m assuming we can melt down the lollipops and gumdrops to get the liquid sustenance we need to survive, right?


My questions for the nominees:

1. Do you have a Spotless Mind and therefore receive the benefits of Eternal Sunshine?  (In other words, is ignorance truly bliss?)
2. Have you ever met a Rain Man?  Or any other sort of weather controlling person for that matter?
3. What’s your idea of The Perfect Storm?
4. What song do you start with when you are Singing in the Rain?
5. When you’ve had to move in the past, were you happy with your mode of transportation or do you wish you could have Gone with the Wind?
6. Are you a Little Miss Sunshine?
7. Did you play Twister as a kid? Do you still play it?  What’s your favorite “party” game?
8. Do you enjoy a good Hard Rain or are you more of a drizzle person?
9. Do you know any Windtalkers?  I know at least two people who can burp the alphabet…
10. Have you ever gotten to enjoy the sight of Snow Falling on Cedars?
11. How would you define Tequila Sunrise?


(drum roll please)  And the nominees are….

1. J.D.
2. Rara
3. Steph
4. Jen
5. Revis
6. Beth
7. CK Hope
8. Jo
9. Tony
10. Lady Lovely

These wonderful bloggers always seem to be brightening up my day.  Go check them out, and see for yourself, especially if you too have some June gloom you are trying to shake off.

That’s a tasty award

C.K. Hope nominated me for… well, it was more of an open invitation to pick an award out of the several up for offer, but how could I pass up on getting to write about these delicious looking sweets… the Super Sweet Blogging Award!

I’m not sure if these are the actual rules that go with this award, but it’s what we are using today regardless:

1-Answer the 10 random questions or those of your own choosing.
2-Nominate 10 other bloggers for the Award and link their blog sites.
3-Notify the bloggers of their awards.
4-Ask the award winners to answer the 10 questions when they accept their Award.

Here are the questions that C.K. asked:
1-Do you have a goal in life?  It’s pretty simple… be a good person and have fun.  As long as I’m striving towards that I can’t really go wrong.
2-City or Countryside? Mountains?  Does that count as “countryside?”  If I could live in the mountains I would…
3-What was the last word you looked up in the dictionary?  Antidisestablishmentarianism – which I looked up just now specifically because according to Wikipedia it is the longest word to appear in a dictionary that isn’t disputed for technical or coined reasons.  And yes, I was trying to find the longest word, so this whole answer is completely staged.
4-If you had a time machine where would you go? … nowhere.  But I would rent it out for others to use, for a small fee, of course.  I thought about this for awhile – and no matter what time I could pick there would be positives and negatives about visiting that time/place and the risk of not being able to return to here/now would be too great.
5-Pirate or Vampire? “Hello.  Pirate.”  I rarely cheat.  Honestly.  But I do tend to think that “rules” are more guidelines than anything else. 
6-Are you easily satisfied or do you keep working to obtain something? Easily satisfied, mellow, go with the flow…
7-Sweet or Savoury? Sweet!  (Dude?)
8-Do you believe in Karma? Of course.
9-Which is your favorite Comedy film? Monty Python’s Spaceballs in Tights Married an Axe Murderer Holy Grail – Best.  Film.  Ever.
10-Fantasy or Sci-fi? – Fantasy.  I’d take sorcery over stun guns any day.

Look out!  You’ve been nominated:
1.  Kim
2.  UndercoverL
3.  Fibot
4.  Wiley
5.  Beth
6.  Jackie
7.  Ritu KT
8.  Mary-Ann
9.  dmauldin
10.  Zeinab

And, if you wouldn’t mind, could you please answer me these questions ten:
1.  Do you think it’s weird that the Breakfast Club ate lunch rather than breakfast?
2.  If you had Breakfast at Tiffany’s would you order the eggs or the diamonds?
3.  Have you watched the movie Layercake?  Thoughts on that experience?
4.  If you boarded the Pineapple Express, which stop would you get off at?
5.  Do you prefer American Pie over pies from other countries?  What is your favorite?
6.  If the forecast for the day was Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, would you stay inside?
7.  Do you slather Space Jam on your toast in the mornings?  Or do you prefer something else?
8.  Have you ever had to Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
9.  Do you drink a glass of warm Milk before bed?
10.  Have you ever had a Chicken Run away from you before?

there is now a dragon in the kingdom

Not Quite Alice was kind enough to offer up a dragon for the kingdom.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, something about an award, and loyalty, and awesomeness, and lots of other cool words, but…. Dragon!!!  Isn’t that all you really need to read?

See. RAWR!

It’s all I need anyway.  The Matticus Kingdom definitely needed a dragon, and now that we have one we feel almost complete.  We might need a few knights and a giant table that may or may not be round as well, but those are stories for different days.

Today I must show my love to those who have been loyal to the matticus kingdom so that they too can proudly house dragons in their own pieces of the blogosphere:

1. Jon
2. Jen
3. MerBear
4. Steph
5. Tony
6. (Aunt) Princess Rosebud
7. The Imaginator
8. The Scribbler
9. Mr. Atheist
10. Matrone Bell
11. Rara
12. Jenn
13. The Foodie Farmer
14. Revis Edgewater
15. Gordon Flanders
16. JC

Thank you all for helping me out and staying loyal to the kingdom.  You are all super awesome fantastic!  That’s right.  It’s true.  It has now been officially decreed and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Enjoy your dragons and please treat them well.  They like wide open spaces and need to be able to roam and stretch their wings from time to time.  If you need help taking care of them, just let me know and I’m sure we can work something out.

the one where I break all the rules

ardenrr nominated me for a liebster award.  Not just any liebster award, but this one:


Isn’t it pretty?  No?  Yes?  Well, anyway, on to…

The Rules

  • Post the award image on your blog
  • List 11 random facts about yourself
  • Answer the 11 questions asked by the person/people who nominated you
  • Make up 11 questions for those to be nominated
  • Nominate 11 people to receive the award. They should have fewer than 200 followers on their blog.

Here are the 11 questions asked by ardenrr and my asnswers:

  • If you could fork-stab one person with no repercussions, would you do it?  Who would it be? – I already did, but I can’t disclose the details.
  • How long have you been blogging? – Not long enough.
  • If you could get back one thing you’ve lost, what would it be? – I had this GIJoe action figure once (Shipwreck), and he fell out of the car when we stopped for gas/snacks on a road trip.  I’ve always missed him.
  • Do you watch porn? – What’s “porn?”
  • What is your favorite hobby (besides blogging)? – Watching porn.
  • Do you have any pets?  If so, please post a picture, especially if it’s a sloth. – Sorry, no sloths here.  Go fish.
  • Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom? – Only in the mountains.
  • If you could move anywhere you have already visited, where would that be? – The blogosphere – it seems like such a happy place.
  • What is your favorite TV show that is currently airing and why should I watch it? – Castle, Nathan Fillion, it’s not quite Firefly, but it’s all we’ve got.  Plus, it’s about a writer who helps to solve crimes.  Need I say more?
  • Do you hate your job?  If so, what would you rather be doing? – Hate?  No.  Would I rather be doing something else?  Yes.  Fishing.
  • Are you starting to hate this as much as I am? – I can’t get enough of this!

I only answered truthfully to two of the answers above!  😀  But I’m not saying which two!  So, neener, neener!

Also, I’m not going to list 11 random facts about myself, but I will tell you:
1) I never went to Jester school or DJ school
2) I probably would have failed out of both if I had
3) Awards are a special kind of punishment.  I often wonder what I’ve done to deserve them?  What is the karma trade off here?
4) That’s all I’ve got today.  4, 11, same difference.

And, finally, for nominations and questions to my nominees…  Any of the kingdom faithful readers who have less than 200 followers are welcome to grab this award for their own.  You’re welcome.  As for the questions you must answer?  You can either answer the questions that ardenrr asked me, or you can answer these questions:
1) What is the square root of 64?
2) Why is “same difference” an oxymoron?
3) For that matter, how can something be “new” and “improved?”
4) Why is the sky blue?
5) If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
6) Are you sure?
7) How many people do you think will a) except this award and b) answer these questions?
8) 11 – 3 = ?