my fears

This week’s post is based on the following lyrics from Re-Align by Godsmack:

“My fears come alive in this place where I once died.”

…..

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He sped through the room, refusing to look left or right.  Before he could exit to the solace of the hallway, his path was blocked.  Gritting his teeth he said, “Get out of my way.”

His antagonizer smirked and did not move.  “Why does this room bother you so much?”

“Move.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll move, if you’ll tell me what I want to know.”

Sighing, he nodded once and then stepped into the hallway as soon as the way was clear.

“So?  I’ve watched you walk this big house for months now and in this room, and this room only, you rush through.  Why is that?”

He sighed again, refusing to meet the other’s gaze.  The words would not come immediately and so he said nothing.  His eyes shifted to his feet, ready to be on the move again.

“I’m waiting.”

“I died in that room.”

“So?  That’s it?  You’re dead.  That shouldn’t bother you.”

“I don’t mind the room because it’s where I died.  I don’t like it because it is a reminder of all I left unfinished.”

“Again, so what?  You’re dead.  None of that should bother you.”

“You are truly lucky then.”

“Come off it.  What are you talking about?”

“In that room, that room where I died, I can still feel.”

“That’s impossible.”

“As I said, you are truly lucky.”

“What do you feel?”

“Afraid.”

At this, the other scoffed and grew visibly agitated.  “That can’t be.  You have nothing to fear.  You’re already dead, you fool. What are you playing at?  What’s the real reason?”

He didn’t answer.  There was nothing else he could say to have them understand. 

It wasn’t fear for himself, he was dead.  It was fear for those he’d left behind.  Fear he hadn’t done enough for them.  Fear he hadn’t helped as much as he could.  Fear that they would join him in this, this haunting, this whatever it was. 

In the room where he died, all those fears came alive.

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