Crack

Author’s note:  this one is pretty dark… and I feel like I should mention on the outset, this isn’t me and you don’t need to worry about it.  I’m exploring characters and I had the first line in my head.  As I put the words down the rest sort of filled in to explore the theme of the echoing “cracks.”  So, trigger warning for suicide.  Skip this one if that will set you off.  And, don’t worry about me!  Everything is a-okay in the kingdom!

Another Author’s note:  Feels like there has been a bunch of darker posts recently.  Feels that way because I wrote them all at the same time and have since scheduled them out across the month.  I can’t promise that I’ll write anything happier any time soon but I have noticed the trend and I will make an effort to turn some of these things into something a bit lighter.

………………………………………………………………………….

I opened my eyes to a world bathed in colors I couldn’t name. I blinked and the world remained. I breathed and my lungs filled cleanly. I snapped my fingers and the crack echoed between my ears before fading to nothingness.

Crack

Crack

Crack

Crack

Crack
Crack

I woke with a start. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, though. I didn’t want to see that it had only been a dream. I didn’t want to miss the colors. As long as my eyes were shut I could ignore the cacophony and the oily air. But then a crash from outside echoed across the room and my eyes flew open.

Crack

Crack

Crack

Crack

Crack
Crack

Another accident. Another twisting of metal and flesh because of one reason or another and none of them worthwhile. I didn’t need to rise to see it. I could hear the horns and shouts and cries of pain. Son the sirens would come and drown out all else. I would smell the blood and fire but still only see the drab of greys of reality.
I longed for sleep to take me before the worst of it. To sleep. To dream. To return to the beauty of would could be if only…
But sleep did not come. Would not. Refused to come.
I knew how to force it though.
A rope. A fall. And then…

Crack

Crack

Crack

Crack

Crack
Crack

9 thoughts on “Crack

  1. I don’t think you need to apologize for darkness. It is what it is, and it’s not your job to make everyone happy. 🙂 Even if you are the jester. This was very good. Hugs

  2. Crap, come back for a looksee and you hit me with this… not complaining at all. I’ll take visceral over anything, and this is definitely visceral. Glad you’re doing okay, now you just gotta take this and make it part of a narrative, cause that’s where dreams come from.

    • Still working on the narrative, yes. Little pieces at a time. Maybe one day I will have all the pieces to make a whole. Loved your most recent post… not sure if I mentioned it there. I think I didn’t. Was stuck on the what to say part and ended up not saying anything at all.

      • Little pieces at a time is the only way it works, Matticus. I think. I haven’t found an alternate approach. Glad you liked the most recent post, it was a tough one to write.

      • It’s funny to me to think of things being tough for you to write… I don’t know why, but I have always envisioned the toughest part of your writing being carving out the time to do it… your characters are so full of life that I imagine they spring from your thoughts and fall easily on the paper…

      • Thank you for saying that, Matticus. I really appreciate it. I don’t think about my characters really, they just spring out so from that standpoint, it’s pretty automatic. But this story had a subject matter that kills me, and I know (as Mark in one of his comments), that this actually happens – and that’s just so hard to swallow.

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