Jesterly Challenge Month – November 13th

Revis asked me to eloquently elaborate on the superiority of football over futbol.  (Anyone who knows me even a little bit understands that this will be a true challenge for me, because I love soccer.  Love it!).  Anyway, give it a read and let me know how I did in the comments.


Ah, Revis, you should have been a bit more specific…I know what you meant to ask, but you left it so open that I could answer you several ways without actually giving you what you wanted.  Should I compare the English style to the Spanish style: pace and power over technique and finesse?  Should I compare styles within North America: MLS over Liga MX?  Or, should I compare the broader European Football against South American Futbol?

In fairness to your intended question, though, The Queen would certainly agree that (American) Football is far superior to (soccer) Futbol for the simple reason that (American) Football has an off season.  Between domestic leagues on different schedules, national team friendlies and cup competitions, there is never a time when Futbol takes a break; which certainly works for me, because I love the beautiful game.

Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll rise to the challenge as issued (and lie).
(Hey, I’m a fiction writer; I basically lie all the time.)
(This is going to hurt.)

Football is… better… than futbol because …

Hmm.  I was going to go with the standby “American” answer and say, “because it is a higher scoring game that never has a lull in the action.”  However, in forcing my fingers to try and type that, I realized a truth: there are a ton of pauses in the action in American Football.  They have commercials every chance they get.  Long time outs, breaks between the quarters, injuries, and sometimes even just breaks between the plays all warrant an opportunity to stop the action and throw a commercial on the screen for all those fans watching from home.

And that’s one reason I can actually agree that Football is better than Futbol.  I don’t even have to lie.  All those commercials give me an opportunity to get stuff done during the three hours a game is on.  Where a soccer game only gives me the 15 minute break between halves to quickly eat, or run to the bathroom, or change a diaper, or whatever other chore I’m procrastinating on, while watching a Football game I can get a ton of stuff done!

So, there you go.  In one way, Football truly is better than Futbol.
(In 9 million other ways, however, Futbol destroys Football.)
(Also, in fairness to The Queen, she can’t stand (American) Football either.)
(Also, in the Kingdom, the Little Prince is known to run around shouting “Goal!”)
(I’m so proud.)

11 thoughts on “Jesterly Challenge Month – November 13th

  1. Go Futbol. This was hilarious. I love the fast pace and no breaks. I hope your fingers have recovered. I remember having to change my gravatar to OSU buckeye mascot and type how great osu was. I think I’m permanently scarred from that.

  2. The funny thing? When I say “football” I mean the Aussie Rules version, not American football (that’s the grid-iron one, isn’t it?).

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