You are in for a real treat today. GMan, in perhaps his first ever comment left on the Kingdom, grandfather of the Little Prince, has entered the fray and challenged me to provide comedic comments on the presidential candidates in iambic pentameter (altogether now: da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM (for the most part)), taking no prisoners. Give it a read and let me know how I did in the comments.
I fear, I know, the truth you shall not like,
It’s hard to tell who wins the crown of worst,
The hag, the hair, the red, the son (or bro),
The doc, the veep (has yet to launch, all hype).
And on and on the list is long, absurd.
So sit and hang on, watch the crazy show.
I see no good, no point, in left or right.
The reps and dems, the cons and libs, all stink,
Of sins and greed, and rotting in the sink.
They stand on stages, with flags and suits, to fight,
They look the part, all trussed up, quite the sight,
Until they speak and then we see they’re finks.
I vote my heart and mind, in truth I do.
This crop of perps, they need some help, a clue.
In Trump we have a fool, but joke’s on us.
Clinton is full of lies and dark secrets.
And Jeb, a Bush, is green and craves office.
Sanders, confused, is on the wrong ticket.
I think I failed this test of rhyme and wit.
I broke a rule or two, some here, some there.
But true, at least, I stayed on task throughout.
The same cannot be said of our elects.
They flip and flop and show no honest care,
With forked, split tongues, the hidden devil shouts.
In my defense, I wrote this before Biden publicly declared he wasn’t going to be running, so that line no longer makes sense. Also, from my “extensive” research it seemed that the da-DUM stressing is pretty forgiving. So, hopefully you’ll also be pretty forgiving.