Dream a Little Dream – So Tantalizing

A little boy runs up to me. I am at my mom’s house, but she isn’t there. The house seems inhabited by 20 to 25 children plus my sister and brother in law. Most of the children ate indifferent but a couple are hostile; a little girl gives me the middle finger and a little boy kicks me in the leg. I wonder why I’m here at all.

This boy seems different. He raises his arms and begs me to go “uppie”. I ask his name and he relies, “Halo.” He has moptop blonde hair and is wearing nothing but a pullup and bruises on his face. I ask him about his owies and he responds that he fell. Reluctantly, I pick him up and sit him on my lap. I tell him that if he pees on me, we are through. He laughs as if this is the funniest thing he has heard.

My sister and brother in law enter. We rarely speak. My brother in law tells me he needs the money back. I don’t remember borrowing from him but I ask him how much? He responds that I owe him $200 plus 18% interest. Halo jumps off my lap and says , “potty.” I’m so glad he chose not to pee on me.

I tell my brother in law that I need to pay by the archiac means of a check. He agrees. I find a log that appears ro be mine. The hockey guy is in the left hand corner and it has my info. As I attempt to write a check, the info changes to a business I don’t recognize. We are all confused. I hunt for another set of checks. The same thing happens four more times. My brother in law becomes agitated. I am too, as I want to pay my debt, even though I have no memory of it.

I offer cash. I have $500 in my car, in various denominations. I run to get it. As I come back I hear my sister and brother in law laughing and saying they could get double. I don’t understand. I try to give them two hundred dollar bills and a fifty. This is my food budget. Each time the funds try to exchange hands, the money turns to plastic toy money. It seems like the myth Tantalus, where he can’t quite reach the water or grapes. By this time I am frantic and just want out. My brother in law is furious and i don’t know what to do.

Suddenly, I remember that my brother in law owes me money, not the other way around. Simultaneously, Halo returns and in the most adult voice says, “Pay her bad.”, then kicks my brother in law in the leg.

Thank you for reading the crazy that goes on in my brain while I sleep.


31 thoughts on “Dream a Little Dream – So Tantalizing

  1. I dream of the crazy, and I ate this up. This feels like the best kind of fiction – compelling and so readable, and kind of disconcerting in a way that goes right through you. I felt anxious. And I laughed at Halo not peeing on you. There’s a think line between dreams and fiction, Jaded.

    Great stuff – and thank you for a morning pleasure.

    • I am happy that you liked this. The difference between us is that you can create magic that others love to read, and do it concsiously. I’m glad Halo didn’t pee on me, as well. If he did, I most likely would have woken up wet, and that wouldn’t have meant anything good. Take care :0)

      • I don’t know if it’s consciously. It feels like a dream state. Just staring at a screen and going someplace, as though you’re inside someone else and inhabiting them. Even if they’re not real. In that sense, the same thing as a dream. I always tell my wife that I feel I often live in an abstraction, a place that’s not real or here, or really any good. But I go there, and it is a dream. A waking, living dream.

  2. First – so good to have your voice in the kingdom again. Thanks for posting this.
    Second – ugh, dreams are just the weirdest. I’ve been having strange dreams all week. This morning, a holiday for me, I kept waking up from dreams that I was late for work, but no matter what I did I couldn’t leave the house. It was frustrating and I was frantic. I guess my job has a bit more of a hold on me than I’m used to.
    Third – I love the little boy coming to your rescue in this dream. Children seem to have a better grasp on humanity than the rest of us, they know right from wrong (in their own way) and are fearless in making sure people do the right thing.
    Fourth – Does your brother-in-law actually owe you money?

    Hugs. I know there is more going on behind this dream. I’m going to reply to your email right now.

    • Thank you for letting me purge. I hate that you have those dreams. No, I dont have any monetary dealings with BIL. Kids do, which is why i wonder what I did to deserve a kick and the middle finger…

  3. I actually stopped by to visit Matticus, and you’re here! So it’s a special surprise.
    Jaded, I’ve not read a lot of your writing before, but this is REALLY interesting fiction. Matticus knows I’ve struggled to write fiction, and I love when other people can just put together such interesting characters and stories.
    I want to know more. I want to know why the child has bruises. The best kind of storytelling leaves you wanting more.

    • Hi Art. Thank you for liking it. Thanks for pointing out the typo, too. Yes, there are a few typos. If you managed to get past the first one, you would see them as well. :0) I apologized to DJ. The WP phone app wouldn’t let me edit. My computer is a phone with a three inch screen. Thanks again for liking what you read.

      • I’ve been better. I’ve been told to stop blogging and have had to take down all my posts. Obedience is a very hard thing. I’m still able to read, but am not allowed to write anymore. Last time I felt like this was when my Gran died. I feel like I’ve had my words stolen.

    • *Glares at TPTB* This makes me angry. Omg so angry that your beautiful voice can’t be heard. I am just going to hold my tongue, but it is going to puke out that this was a human edict…not otherwise. Isn’t one of the commandments thou shalt not steal? Holding my tongue because I don’t understand.

      • Apparently there were complaints about my last post. The current Prioress apparently didn’t like me writing unsupervised. She has been in community for about 50 years, and so possibly only sees the negative side of the internet. So here’s me, left feeling useless and worthless yet again. I’ve been back on antidepressants for about a month and am just wondering if I should go back to the doctor and ask to increase the dose, because I’m basically not coping. It really does feel like someone has died, and that someone is me/my creativity.

    • Are you at least allowed to journal? That really sucks. Some of the most compelling writing came from members of communities. I wonder what would have happened if internet was around back then. The fact that this is a contributor to you going back on meds, sickens me.

      • Going on the meds happened before this did but I really think I need to up the dose. Yes, I can still keep a private journal or diary, but right now that feels very pointless. Why write if no one’s going to read it? I’m struggling to sing and play my flute too. I don’t feel creative anymore. I just want to crawl into my bed and stay there. I honestly don’t know whether it’s God or inertia keeping me here. This all sounds a little melodramatic, I guess. I hate feeling so bad but I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve had my heart broken and am just going through the motions in the hope that maybe it’ll make sense at some point.

      • Hi Jaded, just wanted to let you know that I’ve started to feel much better these last two days. Not quite sure how or why, but at least the immense pain has subsided, and I can contemplate the idea of writing and not posting it online now. Xxx

  4. I love the bizarre nature of dreams/nightmares. I’ve been fascinated with it my entire life.

    This is a good one. 😉 Strange & stressful for you I bet, but hey, still good. They help us.

      • They just might. I don’t think you need meds unless things get really severe. Right now, you have us. & You already know I’ll always chat with you. No matter the hour. & If I’m not awake I’ll get back to you. You know all this already. 🙂

    • Sorry for the confusion. i am on lexapro and klonopin…i have been for almost a year. unfortunatdly or fortunately, my doctor and i realized that i need them. i hate it. i slways make sure i have my kpin when i go home because it is the only way i can deal with him, as he, sis and their kids live with mom. Thsnk you for being here.

      • I’ve heard extremely positive things about Lexapro. Can’t say the same for, Klonopin.
        Either way, just keep venting. It’s healthy. xoxo

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