Dave’s Service

I don’t have any words of my own yet…  I’m sure they will come, they almost always do.  But, until then, you can read what Deb and AR Neal had to say about the day.  Deb it was a pleasure chatting with you again and meeting your amazing family.  AR Neal, it was great to meet you “in the real” and I hope next time will be under better circumstances.  Thank you both for being there today.
Also, in lieu of my own words, I’m sharing below something that was written by Rara and her sister, Lachmi, and spoken during the service:
He smelled of cigarettes and carried an attitude of knowing. He had a love for art; and his body was just one of many canvas that he decorated. He had a way of drawing and painting that reflected a raw soul that not everyone related to, but was special nonetheless. His love of Ska music was unparalleled. His love for authors like Vonnegut and Palahniuk reflected his cynical, philosophical syndrome.
He taught us how to swear like a pirate and how to conduct ourselves in a way that we would never have to apologize for; who would be the first one to shake his fist at the stupidity of human nature, and yet have the patience to hold the door open for a gaggle of old ladies. He was the boy who picked at boned meat, could eat cheese by the block, and never managed to use a napkin for its true intent. He was tremendously complicated, and one could only comprehend him by facing his contradictions. He was a Sinner, a Saint, a Hero, a Victim, a Father, a Student, a Teacher, a Brother, and some weird combination of everything else that you could imagine– corporate with joke-book humor, immensely tough yet vulnerable and loving. He would be the first one to tell you that he hated children; yet, could always be found at the children’s table or asking to baby sit. And we know without a doubt that Flash and Perdita never had a better father than Dave.
 He thought nothing was impossible, but was often impossible himself; constantly citing literary scholars  or some obscure sci-reference that only a true geek would fathom. He insisted on ferocious sense of morality and ethics that, if you were caught on the sharp end of his barbs, you most likely would not fully fathom his insult until days later; a casualty we’ve all endured. We learned not only our sense of what was right, but the importance of defending it…and even sometimes when we weren’t right, we learned to defend that too.
He was never one to let the world tell him who he was, or what he was. He was empowering and had reins of his life as he would always be quick with a theory or an invention that would solve whatever situation he thought was a problem. He wanted to sell cool phrase flashcards, misery cookies to give those in misery, and pity pillows to throw at those wallowing in self-pity. He was the one who sneaked our little sister out to teach her how to drive, who stayed up the entire night creating a Christmas wonderland for his nieces, who always knew that sometimes the right thing to say wasn’t always the right thing to do, and who had unwavering support whenever we needed it. He loved Radha so directly and so deeply that love became redefined for everyone that knew them. They were indispensable to each other, they thrived off each other’s attention, love, respect, a mutual unparalleled addiction to the arts.
Dave, Grayson Queen, or however you knew him—touched so many lives. He will be remembered as a  loving husband, a quirky brother, a super hero, a very loving uncle, a blogger, a writer, an artist. Thank you for taking time to celebrate Dave. Thank you for the endless love being sent to my sister.

16 thoughts on “Dave’s Service

  1. Thank you so much for posting that. I heard some of it while reining in the little one (with help, thankfully, from you and your chap stick), but missed other parts I’m glad to fill in now.

    I meant to not take any pictures today, but I’m glad I got that picture including you. Next time in better circumstances. (Anthony has already said he’s in. I’m glad you already put that in his brain!)

  2. This is heartbreakingly beautiful.
    I so wish I could have made it out there. I’m very glad some of you guys made it, though. There is certainly a wave of sadness and love at the same time rippling through everywhere these past few days.

  3. Thank you for keeping those of us on the other side of the ocean, or unable to attend for other reasons, informed with what’s been going on and updates on the funeral itself. I can’t imagine how hard the service was, but I am really happy that some of you were able to make it to say goodbye to Dave and to be there for Rara. In facing a world without Dave, Rara faces an incredibly difficult task on top of her already incredibly difficult hardships, but it’s good she has your support and she knows how loved she is, and Dave was. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

  4. Great seeing you as well, DJ, and Deb! Maybe we can pull together a SoCal bloggers social for Rara once she’s finished with this business. I mentioned such to FOG too since she’s not far 🙂

  5. I never met Rara or Dave — in person, or online. That’s not exactly true … I think I visited Rara’s blog a time or two over the years, but I never really followed either one except through you and your blog.

    I’ve followed their story here, and followed the various links to various posts by Dave or others. It’s a story that just seemed to become more unbelievably horrible each time you posted something new. I don’t mean this in a joking way, but their story almost seems like one of your monster tales — sadly, their story isn’t fiction.

    One thing I do know is that you’ve been a true friend to both of them. One thing life has taught me is that rough times teach you who your friends are — some seem to vanish the instant there’s something unpleasant.

    My own world has been crazy, and my own blog has been neglected, though I’ve read as many posts as I’ve been able to, so I may be a few weeks behind on most stories, so it has taken me a bit to catch up to this sad news.

    As I mentioned, I know from all the time I’ve been following you that Rara and Dave are special to you. You’ve been an amazing friend to both of them.

    I’m sorry I haven’t gotten to know either of them, though I feel I know them through you. I can’t even begin to imagine how Rara’s feeling — as if her own situation wasn’t bad enough. My heart goes out to her, and I hope that she finds strength from her family and good friends like you.

    I’m sorry for your loss. I hope that your memories of Dave will help you find your way through the grief. Take care of yourself.

And, begin:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s