driving

The starbursts crowded my vision as the road swept into oblivion below my tires.  Blinking only soothed my tired eyes for a short time, the quick double beat of yellow dashes.  Rubbing only cleared them for the length of four.  No matter, the distorted view returned with a vengeance, angry that I would attempt to thwart it.

And still I journeyed to the horizon.

Ghosts of light and metal, Doppler enchanted flashes, harassed my progress, drifting across my periphery and angling to keep me from my prize.  White knuckled, I stayed true to my course.  The spirits held no power over me as long as my nerves held.  Sensing my resolve their efforts increased.

And still I journeyed to the horizon, the rising sun.

The road, my sole constant companion, betrayed me with twists and turns that hid my destination from me.  Filled with uncertainty, doubting my path, I fought against the inclination to slow.  The lines tightened around me.  I couldn’t breathe.  My heart beat out of control, faster than than thumping creases of my trail.

And still I journeyed to the horizon, the rising sun, the day about to unfold.

The blacktop blurred together with the starbursts and ghosts and my vision failed.

I slipped loose in a realm of structure and conformity.

I stopped fighting.

The fire crested the edge of the world and I felt its intensity behind my closed eyes.  The road had twisted again.  The ghosts had vanished.  My sight returned.  I opened my lids to witness the glory of the coming adventure.

And still I journeyed.

 

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31 thoughts on “driving

  1. I drove tractor trailer long haul for a living for many years. It is amazing how often driving can so easily be a metaphor for life. When you drive commercially for a living, you have to do so in all kinds of weather, in all states of mind with no choice. Living through (driving through) life’s hard times when stopping is not an option can produce both some of the most soul searching, difficult and beautiful experiences you will ever encounter. i think it is the perseverance that gets you through that creates both the lessons and the beauty

    • Paul,
      Oh my gosh, thank you for the great comment! Yes, lessons and beauty all rolled into one. I’ve never driven commercially, but I have spent a lot of my life in a car (sometimes by choice and sometimes not). I actually come up with a majority of my posts while driving to or from work every day… watching the world around me or thinking through my emotions from the day.
      Thank you,
      Matticus

      • At the best of times I find driving very Zen-like. It’s almost as if our memories are stored in grey filing cabinets – rows and rows and rows with more drawers than can be counted. When I’m driving the passing scenery seems to open these drawers, allowing a flood of memories. Each of these can be embraced and examined and linked to other memories, finding commonalities, parallel processes, details I hadn’t noticed when the memoies were created, etc. It’s pretty amazing. I found that although the memories and feelings cascaded through my mind, I had to be caeful to direct them in a positive way. If I started off with a negative attitude, the memories would go that way and I would get more angry or upset. Once you know that, it is easy to direct the thoughts in a positive way. It is also possible to think with emotions and feel connections without using words.

        I don’t usually mention this because there don’t appear to be many people who do this – most are focussed on the destination not on the journey when they drive. Unless you can be in the moment this doesn’t seem to work. I also found that it wasn’t sustainable in heavy traffic or city driving either. But on the highway with hundreds or thousands of miles to go, it comes easily. You must have a fair lengthy commute to have discovered this. It’s great to find someone else who appreciates this and has explored it. As you have so obviously noticed the emotional thoughts can be reconverted to words at a different place and feeling than where the precursors began. It’s also fun to work on really big questions like the meaning of life or the existence of a supreme being. Some of the results are rather astounding when brought back to words.

        Ha! Anyway, great to find your blog. I’ve noticed you commenting elsewhere and followed you back here. I am looking forward to your future posts. I saw that you had met Rara and some others one day and I wonder if you have any news. I caught her husband’s post today and he seems to be having a rough time. I hope Rara can get the food she needs in prision and gets out soon. It makes me very sad that such a kind and caring person is getting treated so poorly.

      • Sadly, I don’t have any recent news to give you an update. I wish I did. I wish I had good news…

        Thank you, again, for the great comment.

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