it hurts my heart

Head held high, she strides into the system,
(Did they handcuff her?  Did she tell her beloved goodbye?)
Unashamed but tired of fighting,
She knows her fate is not yet written.
(Will it really be a year?  Did they tell her why?)

So much time had passed, her life had gained some peace,
(Statute of limitations? How long could they leave this?)
Shattered but no time for crying,
I want to pick up the banner and march in the streets.
(I’m disappointed in our nation. I want to call it quits.)


Do you remember when you were a child and had complete faith in the police, our government, and our systems?  You knew that good people would be proven innocent and that bad people would end up jail…

As we aged, and saw that the world is much more complex than our naive minds could process, a bit of our faith died.  We realized that there are still humans behind each of those systems and humans are frail and prone to error.  We aren’t even smart enough to put in the checks and balances that would ensure our mistakes were caught by others.  We try, but we fail.

I’ve only met her in person 3 times, but, in the time I have known her, I know her to be a good person, and I am proud to call her a good friend.  But, right now she is in a bad way because the system if failing her.

Today I grew up a little bit more.  Today I can see our world a little bit clearer and I don’t like what I see.  It isn’t pretty and it hurts my heart.


A Sign of Life: We Are Not Bloggers

Not a Punk Rocker: I don’t Know What to Say

Behind the Mask of Abuse: Innocent paying the price again…

To Breathe is to Write: My Heart Hurts Today

64 thoughts on “it hurts my heart

  1. I’m liking this out of solidarity. My heart is broken for so many people right now. I was going to try to write something and can’t get the words out, so thank you for this.

  2. I like your poem! You should check out my blog I write a lot of similar stuff!

  3. I hate what’s happening to her… I’m one of those people who wants to rawr, and squish things, and DO something, and I can’t abide standing by… Mind if I link up to this when I write my own?

  4. Ah DJ, my heart hurts so much for her. I wrote her an email, and hopefully she gets it soon. I think we all love her and it’s driving me crazy that we can’t help. I may write something too today and I will link up with you.

    • Please do.
      And, yes, I feel useless… Why don’t I have a law degree? Why don’t I have a “get out of jail free” card tucked up my sleeve? Why has our system continued to fail her?

  5. I’m in tears. Once again injustice. Is anyone starting a fundrasier for them? I would but since I just did one, I don’t know that it be right for me to do another so soon.

  6. Woah. I’m only peripheral to the blogger in question, but I’ve never heard anything but nice things about her.
    It’s been a long time since I had faith in gov’t, but it would be nice to have some af that faith restored here in a quick ending (in her favor) of this mess,

  7. Matticus-
    My heart is torn in a milion tiny pieces right now.

    I can’t just sit idly by. I can’t.

    I had another post out already, but tomorrow I’ll write and link up. Email me when you get a chance, okay?

    • Email sent.
      And, yes, a million tiny pieces sounds about right. Most of them sad, but some of them so angry at any system that could possible think she was guilty of what they are accusing her of.

  8. Wow. I am awestruck. I have no clue… none… about what is going on and I have been a faithful follower for many many moons. I am saddened and outraged just by all of your sadness and outrage. Without knowing anything, I feel that this is horrible.

    • It is horrible. And those of us who know a little bit about what is going on don’t really know all that much either… so many questions unanswered… And, perhaps it isn’t our place to know everything, I can live with that. But, that isn’t going to keep me from questioning our terrible system for putting her in this predicament in the first place!

      • I think, regardless of what we know or don’t know, nothing can ever change if we don’t band together. You (we?) are all doing the best we can by showing our support and concern and (maybe?) rallying together for change. I wish I knew what I could do to change things, so I can’t imagine what you are all feeling, when you actually know something and are still as helpless as me. ((hug))

      • Thanks for the hug, it is much appreciated. 😀
        And yes, showing our support (and if you check out Zoe’s comment with links to a couple other things) is all we can do right now…
        I’m hoping that changes so we can do something that helps them more, helps them faster.

  9. Like some of the commenters, I don’t really know what is going on, but I love Rara, and I’m so worried. I’m just commenting to spread some love at this dark time. Love to you all.

  10. Ugh work so busy! I liked earlier for the writing, but coming back to see more, I HATE what’s going on. Our system sucks donkeynuts! I am so angry right now I could spit (or run for office). I wanted to be a PO when I was younger but physical limitations prevented. I soon became jaded at the entire clusterbleep. Now angry again b/c only knowing what I know, I know she deserves a system that is so much better than this one.

    Hugs to you.

    • Yes, she does deserve a better system. We all deserve a better system. Perhaps one that is meant to support us rather than kick us when we are already down? Wouldn’t that be a novel idea.
      I sent you an email…
      I was hoping my anger would subside a bit so I could think more clearly, but I’m still buzzing this morning.

    • Best we could do at the time?
      A good idea that has been twisted by greed and fear?
      A good idea taken too far to protect us from ourselves?
      I don’t know… :-/

  11. How true. I’m really starting to realize (and I can only imagine I’ll continue to) that unfairness and assholeness are very present in life

    • It is a sad lesson to learn. I thought I already knew it, too. I thought I had a good grasp on just how messed up the world was, but this just proves how far off I was…

    • Hugs to you as well, thank you.
      Yes. Hope. I am full of hope today. We can’t change what has already happened, but that doesn’t take away from the hope we have for the days ahead.

  12. Your poem is just perfect. I have no words. The words I have are flying around like a tornado, trying to make sense of it all. I wrote, will post it later and I will link up to you as well. The more Rawr energy we can bundle together, the better. I just wish I could do so much more for her, but I’ll keep on hoping and throwing magical positive vibes her way. Hugs to you.

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