the gathering silence

The long pauses between notifications stretch me thinner, and my attempts to ward off the unwanted thoughts grow weaker.  Is it something I wrote?  Is it just a quiet week?  Have my words lost their luster?  Where is everybody?

I look for the orange light.  I click it hoping to catch something there before it has refreshed on its own.  I keep clicking even when nothing shows up.  I feel alone.  I feel small.  I feel lost.  Did I not visit enough posts this morning?  Did I not leave enough comments?  Am I being shunned?  Where is everybody?

My stories glare at me, bore a hole through my head (through my soul?), like a (knife, baby, edgy and dull?) blast of lightning from all of my forgotten wizards.  They demand an audience and I am not providing.  They call me a cheater for quoting songs.  They threaten to leave.

I am powerless to stop them.

In the gathering silence, the whispering of my words thunders like a storm.  Did I cross a line?  Have I been forgotten?  Am I being ignored?  Am I no longer worth reading?

Where is everybody?

 

Advertisements

134 thoughts on “the gathering silence

  1. I’M HERE I’M HERE!!

    I’ve been super quiet lately. Don’t know why. Guess I haven’t had much to say 🙂

  2. Your fiction is someone else’s reality.

    (I think my views and comments drop whenever the weather gets nice…I need blustery winter to return)

  3. I can only speak for myself — I’m swamped at work just as all my favorite bloggers are writing more and more — multiple posts every day. I cannot keep up. I try. Really I do. There are currently 282 posts for me to read just from the last week.

  4. As you know, I’m in my week of Mondays…

    I like your writing, but will confess I’m holding off reading about Revis until I can start at the beginning and do it properly. I enjoy how you express even this feeling, that resonates for me. I have replaced obsessive fb-checking with blogs, posts, comments, reading, writing, etc.

    Much better addiction, I say.

  5. I just spent two hours (HOURS!!!) configuring someone’s PC.
    I haven’t noticed much of a down-tick – at least in output. My email is still constantly swamped with new posts.

    • Well…
      In WordPress there is a built in “reader” where when you decide to subscribe/follow a blog, if it is also a WordPress blog when they post something new it automatically shows up there so you don’t have to go searching around for their site or wait for an email or yadda yadda. All new posts in one place! Hooray!
      I’m not sure if BlogSpot has something similar.
      But, there are a bunch of apps that do the same thing across multiple platforms, if you are interested in something like that.

  6. Okay, from the comments (I didn’t read all of them) I’m not the only one feeling a little overwhelmed with the to do lists this time of year seem to bring. I know I haven’t been giving everyone the attention they so rightly deserve. I do read when I can. I haven’t even been writing much. There are a couple drafts just waiting to be finished. Let’s see what tonight and tomorrow bring.

  7. Happy now? Look at these hordes running toward you with fire in their eyes – your fans!! As for me I just finished the A-Z blog challenge so today is very slow as my in box is not filled with comments. this is good – have to pack for a trip to US next week. Not as far as where you are though

    Your fans are a loyal bunch 😀

    • Not fans… per se. I think “community” is the better word. 😉
      If you are looking for a new challenge, Twindaddy of Stuphblog.wordpress.com is hosting a 25 days and 25 songs challenge for May. 😀

  8. Never fear…Dani’s here. giggles. I just don’t have a lot of time and I tend to rack up lengthy pieces… especially if they are frequent. You have not lost your touch…your words are still profound…I think people are just busy. 🙂

    • My work server blocks your site most days. Some days I can get there no problem. But, most days it blocks it. Very annoying. So, then I have to remember to pop by if I turn my computer on when I get home… which, I don’t always remember to do. Sorry!!!
      But, maybe other people are having the same issue with their work servers recently, which is why fewer have been visiting you?
      Or, maybe the weather it just starting to get nicer and so more people are prying themselves away from their screens and playing outside… That’s actually a good reason. I’d be okay if that were the truth.

      • That’s likely about the weather…

        Nice to see my blog is such a vast wasteland that it gets caught up in the work blockade! It almost makes me think I’m doing something right…

  9. I’m already on the right side of the pond I live in Canada 2 hours east of Detroit. Not enough levels to answer in the right spot 😀

  10. This did not show up in my reader until today, for some reason. Along with a bunch of other posts from you.

  11. I’m almost caught up on reading people’s posts. And I’ve even managed to tidy up my score for Rutter’s Magnificat that the choir I sing with started rehearsing last night. (We’ve hired the vocal scores and the copy I’ve got was last used by someone who thought it perfectly acceptable to stick strips of paper over the English words under the Latin words, which meant I had to peel all those off before I could then rub out all his scribblings on the Bass part. My inner librarian is fuming.)

    • Hah! Oh my. I have no inner librarian so rather than fuming I think it is kind of funny. But, I am fuming on your behalf that you had to go through all that effort to fix it.

      • I get that so here and musicians have to note their copies – I do it all the time. But I’m aware that it’s not my personal copy, so try to write lightly so it can be rubbed out when the copy gets passed on to someone else. It’s frustrating that some people don’t have that consideration!

And, begin:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s