Delight in Disorder

Do you have a way with words?  Do you think you do, or do you know you do?  Tony Roberts knows.


That’s not just idle banter.


“Delight in Disorder is the story of one pastor’s battle with bipolar disorder. This spiritual memoir is a house of meditations where faith and mental illness co-exist, at times fueling each other to dangerous distortion, at times feeding each other to fruitful gain. It offers hope for those often neglected and shunned. It also fosters compassion for believers towards those with troubled minds.”

I’ve been reading Tony’s work in the blogosphere for a long time now, and almost everything he has been doing has been working towards getting this book written and published.  It’s an amazing journey.  It’s a journey you should take with him.

When I asked Tony if I could feature his book, I asked him if there was a particular excerpt he would like to share with the kingdom, and there was, and here it is:

Even Me

Over the past several years now, I’ve often wondered how I could be in a personal relationship with the LORD and still have tried to take my life. Attempting suicide, while often prompted by disturbed minds (like mine), is an ultimate act of ingratitude for the life God has given us.  Yet, after my attempt, I felt drawn closer to God more than ever.  Perhaps out of desperation.  Perhaps out of desire.
Some talk about the “assurance of salvation” – once saved, always saved.  Others point to Bible passages that show it is possible to “fall from grace.” I’ve thought hard and prayed deeply about the subject and have yet to come to any conclusions.  I can only say that, in my life, while there have been plenty of times I’ve felt like giving up on God, God has never given up on me.
I don’t always feel secure in my salvation, but I do know the power of Christ’s saving love first – hand in my life.
God has brought me back from the dead.  In Christ, I have hope for abundant life with him now and forever.
The Psalmists show us that those who look to the LORD for salvation experience how intimately God is connected to us. God sees our troubles even before they are troubles. God knows our grief and grieves with us.  When we feel the most helpless, we can turn to the LORD and be swept up in God’s warm embrace.
When I came to my senses in the hospital bed after my suicide attempt, I had to face the reality that I had tried to abandon God. At the same time, I discovered God had not abandoned me. I say this not to brag about my standing with God – indeed I have no standing with God. I say this instead with tremendous gratitude and wonder that God would take notice of me — even me.

You are hooked now, right?  Well, here’s where you can find the rest: Amazon and Goodreads.

Want to find out more?  Want to interact with the author?  Here are some great ways to connect with Tony:


10 thoughts on “Delight in Disorder

  1. Ooh this is great! Congrats to Tony. I’ve been following his journey as well. (I met him here in the Kingdom!) His writing is AWESOME and his story is so important. 🙂

    • Hooray!!
      I’m glad it was there. I hope you enjoy it when it is removed from your wish list and placed in your hands. Tony is a good author, and his story in incredible.

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