Maxwell’s Silver Hammer


Her child’s cry came, as always, at the wrong time.  She was elbow deep in an endless pile of dishes, and to go to him she would have to pull her gloves off, wash away the excess bubbles, and find a clean dish towel to dry her hands.  The last time she’d done that he’d only wanted a glass of water and he was old enough to do that on his own, finally.

She turned off the faucet, and then judging the stress in his voice, the sense of urgency, and the general location, she determined that he was still sitting in front of the TV and wasn’t in any immediate danger.  She hadn’t wanted to be one of those mom’s that just yelled from room to room rather than encouraging the behavior of getting up and having a conversation face-to-face, but it had already been a long day.


She tried to keep her frustration out of the reply, and was pleased with how sweet her question sounded.

“Something’s wrong with Maxwell?”

She wracked her brain but couldn’t place the name.  It didn’t sound like any of the characters from the shows he normally watched.  “You’re watching TV, right?”


She waited for him to elaborate.  She sighed audibly when she noticed the small pool of water at her feet that had dripped off her gloved hands while she’d been distracted.  One more thing for her to clean.

After a nearly unbearable minute, “So, what’s wrong?”

“He’s acting strange.  Normally he’s funny.  Or, he’s just there, not doing much.  But, right now he’s being mean.  He’s got this great big silver hammer and he’s smashing things with it.”

She furrowed her brow in confusion.  That didn’t sound like any of the approved shows the smart chip was supposed to allow her son to find.  She didn’t want him to think she didn’t pay attention to the things that were important to him, but she was forced to ask, “Who’s Maxwell again, darling?”

“The pig.”

“The pig?”

“Yeah, from those commercials.”

“The car insurance commercials?”


“And, what’s he doing?”

“Mom!  I already told you!  He’s got this great big silver hammer and he’s going on a totally berserk rampage.  He’s smashing everything and everyone in sight!”

Water continued to drip from her hands as she sprinted out of the kitchen…


This bit of silliness is my humble submission for Merry’s “A Beatles Contest!”  Everyone is welcome to join in the fun.  You’ll earn a new shiny badge for your blog if you do, and you could win a guest post, and all you have to do is:

Write (or draw…or both!) a post based on one of the songs [below]. Link it back to this post so that everyone has a chance to see the fabness that you created.

All entries will be judged by Paul.


Here are the songs:
All My Loving
Day Tripper
Helter Skelter
Maxwell’s Silver Hammer
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

You definitely want to join in the fun, right?  Get to it!  Write it, draw it, paint it, create it, then link it and post it, and, voila, you’re entered!

40 thoughts on “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer

    • I think he had a minor meltdown. He should be okay once the nice young men, in their clean white coats get a hold of him. He’s currently screaming “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” as he smashes a cop car….

      • I’m one of those people who loves my job. I’m fighting to get a laptop so I can work 24.7. Plus I was out sick yesterday…needed to tie things up.

      • Um… but, 24/7? Don’t you have other things to love at least some of the time?!?!
        Unless you are hourly and get those sweet, sweet extra-time bonus bucks!

      • I have other things,and that’s why I left out the 365. No bonus bucks. I really love my job, and when insomnolence strikes (which is every night), I could be productive doing it. My company created my role for me. It is the one thing in life I don’t suck at…yet.

      • Hahaha
        I finally, after bouncing around 6 years, have a job I’m enjoying again. I don’t mind working the long hours anymore, and the drive doesn’t seem as bad as it used to. Funny how actually enjoying what you do makes some of the little aggravations fade away.
        That’s awesome they created the role for you!

  1. Please tell me his rampage ended in a throwdown with Flo.
    Though I’m not sure who I’d want to win that match.
    Mutual destruction, perhaps?

    • While her hair proved a formidable defense against his hammer, he was able to beat her down… and then in a moment of ill-advised gloating, he stood upon her carcass and oinked to the heavens, only to realize she had saved just enough strength to also drive home a fatal blow… in the end, the laid strewn across each other in what the cops would later deem the Romeo and Juliet pose…

      • Well, not really, actually… it’s not fun to have a literal spaz attack, be fully conscious, yet unable to do anything about it.

      • Pain is never fun, Matt. I try to put a humorous spin on it, but, I am quite literally and honestly talking about my real life health here.

      • No worries, Matt… some days are better than others. I did think this was a coincidence, although the post, in IMHO, doesn’t quite fit your contest. (!) I’ll have to try again, I guess, when I’m not quite so overwhelmed.

        By the way, I have a question for you…

      • Guap and I were having a friendly debate about electronica vs. acoustic music a little while back, and I thought of your Tug of War feature. Could we adopt your Tug of War idea for an electronica vs. electric/acoustic showdown? Would you like to participate?

      • That sounds fantastic! And of course I’d like to participate… though, which side of the rope I’d be pulling for would depend entirely on how the question gets phrased/worded.

      • I think we’ll make it the debate of classic rock ‘n roll– to synth, or not to synth? Electronic instruments vs. traditional instruments. Live performance vs. studio. Anything too far beyond those parameters would get way too complicated, and this was the crux of our friendly debate anyways.

And, begin:

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