breaking news

Scientists at the Matticus Kingdom University (also known as The Daily Prompt) have proven that karma exists!

Initially, I was thinking that this information would have no impact on my day to day life.  I try to live as best I can.  I’m a good father.  I’m a good husband.  I’m a good jester.


Then I remembered all the time I spend in the car…

Now that I know that karma is real, I am going to have to curb the angry outbursts, the shaking fists, the hurled curse words, the finger gestures, the horn honking, the violent thoughts, and everything else that I do and think while out and about on my daily drives to and from work.  I’m going to have to redefine the nature of my commuter lifestyle.  I’m going to have to calm down, relax, and let all the idiots on the road with me continue to perform their inane driving without any negativity.

It is going to be hard.

Very, very, hard.

But, I certainly don’t want my reactions and retaliations while on the road to come back to me at some point in the future.

So, with that in mind… do any of my faithful kingdomites have any tips or tricks for safe, calm, peaceful driving on the chaotic roads of Southern California?

My first thought is to drink more.  But, something tells me that isn’t the smartest solution.

Also, this is the first Daily Prompt I’ve responded to in a long time.  Have you missed my daily contributions?  Should I do more of them?  Or, should I stick with the other prompts and random things I’ve been posting recently instead?

68 thoughts on “breaking news

  1. a lobotomy would work but it may ruin the jesters sense of humor, so i reject that idea…ok here’s a thought, move close to work. i know i know but that really is the answer. just shorten the exposure.

    • I’ve tried that too. Oh, they are probably having a bad day. Oh, they probably have a screaming toddler in the backseat. Oh, they this that or the other.
      But then I pull up next to them and they are a) on their phone sans hands free or b) seem perfectly serene like not a thing is wrong with their driving or the world at large or c) are staring back at me like I’m the idiot driver… and I assure you, I am not.

      • I understand that, there are those that push us to our limits. It’s usually then that no cops are around too. Up here, we get scared for our lives driving because no one has any regard for anyone’s life.

      • That’s just plain scary.
        I have plenty of regard for the lives of my fellow motorists, idiots or not. I just wish they’d get out of my way. 😉
        I can’t imagine adding bad roads and crazy weather to my drive… I’d figure out how to never leave the house again.

      • Ha. Hey I have a thought for you. Something we discovered with my Hubby recently. Hubby just wishes everyone would get out of his way on the road too. He gets really upset often and what we thought was impatience. We discovered it wasn’t that at all. It’s that he’s claustrophobic. Are you?

      • I’m not that impatient… most of the time. My anger on the road comes from people around me not respecting the boundaries of my lane or not paying to speed limit changes, or just generally being idiots. And it isn’t just reserved for the cars. The people jaywalking. The bikers on the wrong side of the road or on the sidewalks. The people wearing all black while walking at night…
        But… my anger could stem from fear. Fear of hurting them. Fear of being hurt. Fear kicking in from my claustrophobia. Very insightful. Next time I feel my angry rising I’ll try to look at it from that perspective and see if that helps calm me down.

  2. I sat on the interstate for an hour last night…most days are fine, but the night I work late is when I get stuck. TG for music. Loud, loud music.

    Sigh. May we all shine on…

    • Loud music definitely helps. I can ignore the rest of the world and just rock out…

      Ugh, that always seems to happen. The days you are already running late everyone decides they should get in your way, drive slow, get into accidents, or road work suddenly springs up.

    • OoO! Brilliant!
      Except the control freak in me… I think I’d end up making the driver ride shotgun.
      As much as I complain, if I’m in the car, I want to be behind the wheel.

      • Telecommuting!!
        I worked from home the first two months after the Little Prince was born. It was… distracting. 😉
        I think I like the structure of work.
        So, yeah… I need to move out of LA, or find someplace close enough to my current job so I can walk/ride my bike to work.

    • Hahaha
      Sometimes I listen to Rage in the morning just to make sure I make it to work safely… um, make it to work awake. Yeah, that’s right.
      Sometimes I listen to Rage when I’m already angry because the outpouring of emotion in such a concentrated fashion helps me calm down faster.
      I don’t do anything but curl up in a ball and hide from the world after binge watching 24.

  3. I’m with NAPR and others who say listen to music . . . LOUD music! Head banging, foot stomping, air guitaring music. It is a positive outlet to the physical aggression. And the other motorists will see you and FEAR you! It works, trust me. My favorite is Golden Earring’s Twilight Zone.

    • That is a good one, yes. I do a lot of singing along in the car already. Sometimes it helps… but then… like on the way home tonight. Everyone else on the freeway is going at least 65, except this one person going 45… and then they change langes, without signalling, and they cause everyone around them to slam on their breaks. It distracts me from the music…

  4. i commute to work each day too, and just kind of take it in stride. listen to music, books, sports, whatever. as for your posts, i like everything i see here, so go with what you most enjoy.

    • Thanks! I hadn’t meant to stop doing the daily posts… I just seemed to have plenty of other things to write about. And now? Well, we will see on a week by week basis I guess. I’ve only tried books on tapes a couple times. They seemed almost too distracting. I get too sucked into the book world and found I became one of those distracted drivers I’m so often yelling at.

  5. I feel ya on that one. The Irish comedian Dylan Moran has a funny bit on how obscene people are when they’re in their cars, in contrast to how they act when they bump into someone on the street. (Unfortunately I can only find a clip of it in Russian, but all of his standup is my favourite.). Though I don’t think that contrast applies in NYC…

    Sometimes I find listening to classical music and pretending to conduct the orchestra (with one hand) helps, because it’s calming, it occupies my hands, and it makes me giggle, all of which make me less prone to HATE EVERYONE. I am also calmer when listening to NPR, so i think it’s a matter of having my brain occupied by something other than how stupid everyone else on the road is.

    The rest of the time I have loud music on, which sometimes keeps me in a chipper, good-driver mood, but other times turns me into an insatiable speed-demon, and I worry that I may forget that the real road doesn’t work like the kind in video games, where you bump into the cars in front of you and they fly back behind you while you continue on unscathed…

    • The real world really should work like that video game… everyone would be a lot happier. We could all go our own speed and nobody would get hurt. Brilliant! Let’s make that happen.

  6. Lmao, the finger gestures: D

    I thought about this and came to the conclusion that you don’t have the change a thing.

    See the reason for your actions, including finger gestures *snigger* are the result of THOSE peoples bad karma, they have put themselves on a course of action where karma is biting them in the arse, the result of which is you doing what you do.

    As long as you are not doing the bad driving, (in this example of karma) then your karma is purring along nicely.

    That’s my theory anyway.

  7. More stories. This is all I ask. For driving… take deep breath before entering car, remind yourself for a full minute (has to be full minute) that you are going to relax, that you are going to let others be idiots, that you are not amongst them, that you are a good father and husband, that is more important than a hurtling chunk of steel, rubber and glass – even when piloted by douchecanoes.

  8. For driving … a good playlist on whatever device you use to listen to music … music makes any drive better.

    As for writing … write, write, write … I’ll read as many as you post.

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