V is for…

The Queen and I have been reading  books to The Little Prince very night as part of the bedtime routine.  Which makes sense, because we are awesome parents, but that’s beside the point.  One of the books we’ve been reading to him is an alphabet book.  After a couple times through we both realized there was something very wrong with it.

It starts off perfectly fine:

Child book shenanigans: A is for Awesomesauce!
That’s a delicious looking APPLE.

A is perfectly normal.  How about B?

I’d feel perfectly safe heading out beyond the breakers in that BOAT.

And so it goes.  Innocent.  Normal.  Expected.  Everything you could want from a starting alphabet book.

But then we come to V.

Here is a list of V words that would be better than what is in the book:

Vegetable: yummy, yummy, for your tummy.

Violin: a stringed instrument that can make music soar.

Vacuum: how we clean up after two messy cats.

Vector: magnitude and direction.

Volume: what Daddy has to turn up when the little one starts screaming.

Valium: what Mommy has to take to make it through the day.

Velociraptor: a dinosaur that isn’t living under your bed.  Probably…

Yes, all of those would have been better than this:

V is for the Windowless Child Abduction van that drives (us) far away?

Seriously?  VAN?  All the potential V words out there and they went with van… and that’s the picture they went with… and it drives far away…

What exactly are we teaching our kids here?


61 thoughts on “V is for…

    • I’m pretty sure C was for Cat.
      W was for Wheel.
      X was for Xylophone, I think. It might be X-Ray. I’m getting this book mixed up with a Dr. Seuss alphabet book.
      Y was for … I don’t know. But the Dr. Seuss one is Yolanda on her yawning yellow yak. Or something like that.
      Z was for … again, I’m not sure. But the Dr. Seuss was is Zizzer Zazzer Zuss, as you can plainly see. 😛

  1. I liked your list of V words better than Van. Let’s see if I can add any. Vaccine, something meant to keep baby from getting sick. Vagrant, someone who hangs out at Walmart and asks for a handout. Vague, something Mommy becomes after taking her valume. I could probably go on, but the only words I have left are decidedly R rated.

    • Hah! I had vagrant on my original list but then discarded it… the WalMart comment is priceless though! And the Vague as a follow-up to Valium had me laughing out loud! Good stuff.

  2. Because of how the cat is looking at the van from what looks like a window, my mind went to the idea that the cat is being investigated by the CIA– well before child abduction. But still– yikes! V should always, always be velociraptor. 🙂

    • Yeah, dinosaur reference for the win, or, um, Victory, if you prefer. 😉
      Hah! Kitty under surveillance by the CIA. I love it. Well, all cats are masterminds of evil, so it would make sense, but because it is logical it is therefore impossible. The CIA would never do anything that made sense, would they?
      (Funny story – my senior year in college I went to a presentation from the CIA to learn about job opportunities – sadly, I didn’t have the grades to even apply.)

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