In Q and A Bruges

This may be the start of a whole new series of Q and A – where I highlight a film that punches above it’s weight: it’s better than it should be.  Today, we are going to see what I’ve learned from a couple contract killers taking a “vacation” In Bruges.

(All previous iterations of the Q and A silliness can be found here.)

Some of these may not be suitable for small children, the elderly, and anyone who gets offended easily.  You’ve been warned.

Q: What should you say when you are perfectly content at home and someone suggests going on a trip to a place you’ve never even heard of?
A: “Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn’t, so it doesn’t.”
– Ray (Colin Farrell)

*You were warned about offensiveness.  You can’t say that you weren’t.*

Q: What should you say when someone compliments you on the attractive nature of your female companion at a social gathering?
A: “She’s ain’t my girlfriend. She’s a prostitute I just picked up.”
– Jimmy (Jordan Prentice)

*Again, offensiveness, you warned – and if you aren’t enjoying these, you should probably skip the next one.*

Q: What should you say to someone when you are finally ready to tell them off once and for all.?
A: “I mean no disrespect, but you’re a cunt. You’re a cunt now, and you’ve always been a cunt. And the only thing that’s going to change is that you’re going to be an even bigger cunt.”
– Ken (Brendan Gleeson)

*Did you skip it or risk it?  How’d that work out for you?*

Q: When you are on vacation and someone asks how you are enjoying yourself, what should you answer?
A: “Maybe that’s what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.”
– Ray (Colin Farrell)

*I figure if you’ve made this far and haven’t headed any of the warnings, you know what you are doing and are on your own for the rest.*

Q: What should you say to someone who’s stupidity and uselessness leaves you too flummoxed and frustrated to think straight?
A: “You’re an inanimate fuckin’ object!”
– Harry (Ralph Fiennes)

Q: What should you say when you are at a bar ordering drinks for yourself and a friend and your friend wants something “light?”
A: “One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.”
– Ray (Colin Farrell)

Q: What should you say when someone asks why you didn’t recognize them when they passed you on the street earlier?
A: “I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn’t waving hello to anybody. Except… maybe to a horse.”
– Jimmy (Jordan Prentice)

Q: What should you say when you find yourself talking to a couple people who you can’t understand and aren’t quite sure you should be anywhere near to begin with?
A: “You two are weird. Would you like some cocaine?”
– Ray (Colin Farrell)

Q: What should you say when you are in a gun shop, browsing, and the clerk asks if you’ve seen the latest Uzi models?
A: “An Uzi? I’m not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn’t come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.”
– Harry (Ralph Fiennes)

And for the grand finale, this one only works if you have two people “playing along:”

Q: “Why don’t you both put your guns down, and go home?”
– Marie (Thekla Reuten)
A: “Don’t be stupid. This is the shootout.”
– Harry (Ralph Fiennes)

Don’t forget to come back next week where I will either try to offend even more people or I’ll profusely apologize for everyone I offended this week.

………

Have you watched this movie?  Netflix, when I had the service, recommended it to me and one day I finally relented and watched it, and then I watched it again and laughed even hard the second time around.  It’s got everything: drama, love, comedy, action.  It’s almost the perfect movie.  Here there be gun battles, a few deaths, redemption, love, and all kinds of over-the-top ridiculousness, and one very bad monster.  Thanks for playing along.