this morning’s letter

To the driver of the red Camry,

Two lanes converged in the strawberry fields, and you are an idiot.

The fog lay across the land in airy wisps, clinging to a crag there, settled into a gully there, but the roads were blessedly free.  There were plenty of cars around us, which is normal for every morning as the field workers rush to reach their day’s destination before the sun rises.  We all get backed up at the stoplights.  We all crawl along at a snails pace.

The road shrinking doesn’t help.  There are too many people out there at that hour, and there is no way all those cars coming together and funneling from two lanes down to one lane can cause anything other than gridlock.  This is known.  This is the way it is and must be.

So, what do I do?  I try to alleviate some of that gridlock by leaving space in front of me so the car to my right (a red Camry), can merge into my lane without causing me to slam on my brakes, and therefore the car behind me won’t have to slam on their brakes, and the car behind them, and so on.  It isn’t much, it isn’t perfect, but when you pay attention it does help a little bit.

And you, driver of the red Camry, what do you do?

You ignore the space I leave, you put the pedal to the metal and race around the SUV that is ahead of me, veering off the road in the process, to then cut off the SUV, slam on your brakes, making the SUV slam on their brakes, and, you guessed it, causing everyone else to slam on their brakes as well.

Congratulations, you are now a whole 10 feet further along than you would have been otherwise, and zero seconds closer to your destination.

You are an idiot.

I hope you have a terrible day,

The Jester

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37 thoughts on “this morning’s letter

  1. Ahh, it’s times like these when a vivid imagination certainly can be put to work to calm and to elicit a snicker. I would imagine a million spiders raining down the face of that driver…..

    • OoO! I like it. I’m going to have to remember that for next time. I won’t use spiders though *shudder* they creep me out. I’m going to go with a full on bird attack!

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