To the driver of the red Camry,
Two lanes converged in the strawberry fields, and you are an idiot.
The fog lay across the land in airy wisps, clinging to a crag there, settled into a gully there, but the roads were blessedly free. There were plenty of cars around us, which is normal for every morning as the field workers rush to reach their day’s destination before the sun rises. We all get backed up at the stoplights. We all crawl along at a snails pace.
The road shrinking doesn’t help. There are too many people out there at that hour, and there is no way all those cars coming together and funneling from two lanes down to one lane can cause anything other than gridlock. This is known. This is the way it is and must be.
So, what do I do? I try to alleviate some of that gridlock by leaving space in front of me so the car to my right (a red Camry), can merge into my lane without causing me to slam on my brakes, and therefore the car behind me won’t have to slam on their brakes, and the car behind them, and so on. It isn’t much, it isn’t perfect, but when you pay attention it does help a little bit.
And you, driver of the red Camry, what do you do?
You ignore the space I leave, you put the pedal to the metal and race around the SUV that is ahead of me, veering off the road in the process, to then cut off the SUV, slam on your brakes, making the SUV slam on their brakes, and, you guessed it, causing everyone else to slam on their brakes as well.
Congratulations, you are now a whole 10 feet further along than you would have been otherwise, and zero seconds closer to your destination.
You are an idiot.
I hope you have a terrible day,
The Jester
Sadly, red camry driver probably doesn’t have the brains to be able to read this.
Sadly, I think you are probably right.
Did he get out of his camera and then get into a white Accord?
Probably. I’ve also seen the driver in black Toyota truck and a silver BMW.
I hate asshole drivers. I’m I allowed to say that here? If not, reprimand me and I’ll never do it again.
I don’t censor. Say what you will. And, I completely agree.
You tell them!! 🙂
I figured the letter was a more constructive way of “telling them” than what actually transpired in the truck this morning. I used far fewer words and they were, um, less pleasant.
Ooo, I love unpleasant words, especially today.
Today being Monday? Today being July 8th? Today being I need to pop over to your page and read about something?
I am just a just a bit ticked off because of a situation.
Red Camry? Black Toyota? Offspring? DH? Loss of coffee (again)?
Dear Jester,
That was priceless! 🙂
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
Oh, it makes me so mad when drivers do that. 😀
I want to applaud them for “besting us all.” Congratulations, you are going to get where you are going ahead of me. Good job.
I like what you said about getting another 10 feet. I see ppl do that all the time I want to knock on their window and give them a thumbs up
A thumb? Or a certain other digit?
nope a thumbs up for being an idiot 😀
I. Love. It!!
I think the driver of the red Camry was driving a blue Outback the other day, and pulled the same stunt on me …
That driver seems to get around.
I get so annoyed when I try to maintain “safe following distance” and people keep cutting me off.
That’s why I normally tailgate. Thought I’d do something different this morning… and it was just as annoying. 😉
You can’t win in traffic. As a competitive person, that’s tough for me to accept.
I thought there was a trophy at the end… you mean, there isn’t?
That’s very sad for me.
You could always rip off someone’s hood ornament and keep it as a trophy.
Brilliant. Consider it done. Do you want one too?
Heck yeah. Mercedes if possible. Thanks
You got it!
Ahh, it’s times like these when a vivid imagination certainly can be put to work to calm and to elicit a snicker. I would imagine a million spiders raining down the face of that driver…..
OoO! I like it. I’m going to have to remember that for next time. I won’t use spiders though *shudder* they creep me out. I’m going to go with a full on bird attack!
Too bad the driver wasn’t in a Honda, then you could have travelled Biblically “in one Accord.” 🙂
Hah! You know… it might just have been a Honda. Sometimes it’s hard to tell in the glare of headlights and brake lights.
Reblogged this on Serenity is a fuzzy belly and commented:
He’s apparently been in my head, and that’s a scary place. Lord, the idiots are everywhere; it’s proof that God watches out for dumbass drivers. 😛
And he was probably on his phone the whole time, too…
Actually, in this case, I don’t think they were. But, that does seem to be a common problem.