the one where I break all the rules

ardenrr nominated me for a liebster award.  Not just any liebster award, but this one:

Isn’t it pretty?  No?  Yes?  Well, anyway, on to…

The Rules

• Post the award image on your blog
• List 11 random facts about yourself
• Answer the 11 questions asked by the person/people who nominated you
• Make up 11 questions for those to be nominated
• Nominate 11 people to receive the award. They should have fewer than 200 followers on their blog.

Here are the 11 questions asked by ardenrr and my asnswers:

• If you could fork-stab one person with no repercussions, would you do it?  Who would it be? – I already did, but I can’t disclose the details.
• How long have you been blogging? – Not long enough.
• If you could get back one thing you’ve lost, what would it be? – I had this GIJoe action figure once (Shipwreck), and he fell out of the car when we stopped for gas/snacks on a road trip.  I’ve always missed him.
• Do you watch porn? – What’s “porn?”
• What is your favorite hobby (besides blogging)? – Watching porn.
• Do you have any pets?  If so, please post a picture, especially if it’s a sloth. – Sorry, no sloths here.  Go fish.
• Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom? – Only in the mountains.
• If you could move anywhere you have already visited, where would that be? – The blogosphere – it seems like such a happy place.
• What is your favorite TV show that is currently airing and why should I watch it? – Castle, Nathan Fillion, it’s not quite Firefly, but it’s all we’ve got.  Plus, it’s about a writer who helps to solve crimes.  Need I say more?
• Do you hate your job?  If so, what would you rather be doing? – Hate?  No.  Would I rather be doing something else?  Yes.  Fishing.
• Are you starting to hate this as much as I am? – I can’t get enough of this!

I only answered truthfully to two of the answers above!  😀  But I’m not saying which two!  So, neener, neener!

Also, I’m not going to list 11 random facts about myself, but I will tell you:
1) I never went to Jester school or DJ school
2) I probably would have failed out of both if I had
3) Awards are a special kind of punishment.  I often wonder what I’ve done to deserve them?  What is the karma trade off here?
4) That’s all I’ve got today.  4, 11, same difference.

And, finally, for nominations and questions to my nominees…  Any of the kingdom faithful readers who have less than 200 followers are welcome to grab this award for their own.  You’re welcome.  As for the questions you must answer?  You can either answer the questions that ardenrr asked me, or you can answer these questions:
1) What is the square root of 64?
2) Why is “same difference” an oxymoron?
3) For that matter, how can something be “new” and “improved?”
4) Why is the sky blue?
5) If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
6) Are you sure?
7) How many people do you think will a) except this award and b) answer these questions?
8) 11 – 3 = ?