I asked Revis from 33 grams of blog to come and hang out in the kingdom for the a day. I was expectin awesome, because that is what Revis consistently provides, and I should say that I wasn’t disappointed either. You might even say that Revis provided 33 grams of awesome:
When the wonderful Jester asked me if I wanted to guest post, the original idea was a post all about how awesome I am. While a post telling everyone about my greatness would be the truth, I cannot do it for a couple of reasons. One, if I’m the one to tell you that I kick ass, you’d be less likely to believe it. Second, if you read my stuph, and don’t come to that conclusion on your own, I’m probably not as great as I think I am.
Therefore, what I have decided to do is enlighten all of you about other things. I’m going to make a list of things that I have learned from watching movies. I’m sure that every one of these things will help you out in your day-to-day life on a regular basis.
■Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, no matter how crazy they are.
■Matthew McConaughey may get older, but high school girls stay the same age.
■Leonardo DiCaprio dying doesn’t guarantee a good movie, but it certainly helps.
■Shaq made most of his money playing in college.
■If you have a problem, call Houston.
■When Laurence Fishburne gives you a pill, the next thing you know you’ll be tripping, and then you’ll wake up naked.
■Beware the Groove!
■Don’t piss off Bruce Willis, Liam Neeson, or Harrison Ford. Bad things happen to you if you do that.
■ The difference between me and Will Smith is that Will Smith makes this look good.
■Some men are longer than others.
■Chris Evans or Ryan Reynolds have to be in almost every superhero movie.
■When Russell Crowe gives the signal, we should unleash hell.
■Her chastity belt will chafe your Willie.
■Arnold will always be back.
■Dark Helmet always drinks coffee when looking at radar.
■And, finally, those aren’t the droids we’re looking for.
I hope you’ve all learned a little something. I know I did.
Need more wisdom? Of course you do. Plus, now you have to go and figure out if all this talk of awesomeness is correct or not. It is, but we here at the kindgom encourage you to determine that for yourself, and we suggest starting here: