Q: What have you grown to expect and love about Fridays?
A: The Matticus Kingdom Q and A silliness, of course!
You know why we are here, and you know what’s come before, so let’s jump right in:
Q: What do you say to someone who answers a question after you’ve already figured out the answer?
A: “Gee, you know that information… really would’ve been more useful to me *yesterday.*”
– Robbie (Adam Sandler) – The Wedding Singer
Q: What do you say after getting the sixth different invitation to a wedding in one year?
A: “Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.”
– Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) – Wayne’s World
Q: What do you say to someone who won’t stop talking about the story they want to write, the one they’ve had in their head since high school, the next great novel of our times?
A: “That might take years though, perhaps a pamphlet or brochure.”
– Frankie Wilde (Paul Kaye) – It’s All Gone Pete Tong
Q: What do you say when you are trying to pull of an impossible feat?
A: “Remember: no obstacles… only challenges.”
– Ernie (Steve Van Wormer) – Groove
Q: What do you say the next time you go to shake someone’s hand and they decline the offer?
A: “Mad respect for not giving respect. I feel you.”
– Raji (Vince Vaughn) – Be Cool
Q: What do you say when someone says they are feeling low on energy?
A:”Energy, energy? Energy is, is, it’s nothing more than a lot of new age hokum masquerading as spirituality”
– Tony Wilson (Steve Coogan) – 24 Hour Party People
Q: What do you say the next time you are in a restaurant and the family at the table next to you are being obnoxiously loud?
A: “Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children!”
– Jake (John Belushi) – Blues Brothers
Q: What do you say the next time someone is trying to convince you that someone with zero redeeming value isn’t all that bad after all?
A: “Oh, he’s the good drug dealer.”
– Marcus (Taye Diggs) – Go
Q: What do you say when you are trying to get psyched up for something you don’t really want to be doing?
A: “Be excited, be, be excited.”
– Tappy Tibbons (Christopher McDonald) – Requiem for a Dream
Q: What do you say the next time someone calls you sweet, or innocent, or naive, or … well, anything you don’t want to be called really?
A: “Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and *pissed off*! And I could be very dangerous to all of you! You should know that about me… I am *the enemy*!”
– William Miller (Patrick Fugit) – Almost Famous
Q: What do you say the next time you see someone get up and leave from a situation without all of their belongings?
A: “You forgot your thingy.”
– Eddie (James Wills) – Empire Records
Oh my goodness! Wasn’t that fun!?
Well, I thought it was, but that’s what they pay me for around here. So, which was your favorite? Mine was the It’s All Gone Pete Tong one…
Oh, and you probably shouldn’t use any of this in the real world. I mean, I have, but I’m the jester so I can get away with it.