if I had a chance

I’m going to steal some lines from the Angels and Airwaves song – Rite of Spring:

“If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing,
It’s made me all of who I am inside.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, I’ve felt hurt, and I’ve hurt others and there are moments I would rather not remember.  But, as painful as those experiences were, and as painful as those memories are, the fact that I’ve lived them and have them as part of me, shaping my decisions and actions, is something I would not willingly give up.

I am who I am because of those mistakes.  I am who I am because of their consequences, because of how I chose to deal with them and how they still affect me.  I don’t want to know who I would be now if I hadn’t learned those lessons over the years.  I wouldn’t want to make any of those same mistakes now, and if I hadn’t already who is to say that I wouldn’t?

“And everyday I wake,
I tell myself a little harmless lie:
The whole wide world is mine.”

And you?  If you could change something from your past, would you?

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34 thoughts on “if I had a chance

  1. You prompted me to think about this. You make a compelling argument with which I agree, I wouldn’t change a thing. Everything I have done, or has happened to me, has made me stronger, smarter, and more joyful. I just don’t want to spend too much time dwelling on some of those memories!

    • Don’t dwell, I know that can be hard, ponder, decipher, learn, and then move on. The memories from our life, good or bad, shouldn’t consume us… they are there if we need them, but it is the present we should be focusing on: having new experiences, learning more, walking the paths we find ourselves on. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  2. I’ll admit there are things I regret and would do differently if I could. Maybe that’s wrong, or being too tough on myself, but I had mistakes that I knew at the time I shouldn’t have made. But what are you going to do? Makes me appreciate that my family and my husband have stuck with me during my crazy moments. God bless them! xo

    • Oh, yes, definitely good to have people in our lives stick with us even when we make really bad decisions! I don’t think its wrong to have regrets or to wish you could have done something differently. I think that’s just part of the human experience. The key is to not hang on to those regrets, to not be looking backward so much you aren’t watching where your feet are taking you in the present.

  3. Although I like who I am and where I am, there are definitely things I would erase. I know it would make me different. I know it would make my life different, but I’d still do it. I often wonder who I would be without those life experiences. Maybe I’d me much better than I am?

  4. I’m agreed 🙂 I would not change anything, even sometimes I wish I can turn back the time. But all those mistakes and my decisions makes me being me today 🙂

    • Quite the dillemma. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve got something that you’d want to change despite the consequences. Then again, since this is all just a speculative “game” who among us doesn’t have something we haven’t wished we could undo from our past?

  5. Hmmm, firstly ouch… big day at work and my brain don’t like to think too much. Secondly, if I could change one thing it would be… to have had more corageous moments in my past. I have spent my life saying I can’t do it, and I can’t say it. It has left me with a life of “what if” memories and questions. It seems my inner voice was wrong. I can, if I just do. Tough lesson to learn, and I wish I had learnt it a little sooner. Great post dj!

    • Oh, a small change, just add courage, that could have set you on a different course without truly changing who you are or where you are. I hadn’t thought of that. Perhaps I could have used some more courage in my youth too. Rather than thinking about skipping all those years of schooling I was bullied, I could have just had the courage, the fortitude, to stand up to them. It wouldn’t have changed who I ultimately became but could have made a few years easier on me in the process. Very interesting…

      • Oh, bullying is a whole different ball game. You do what you need just to get through. And showing up at all showed more courage than most. I hate to hear you had such a tough time but thank you for sharing.

  6. So many choices to undo … so many! But yeah, it makes us who we are …. even when it’s painful. When I found out I had cancer a few years ago I kept revisiting that question … part of the denial/grieving process … part of the brain saying, “If I’d done THIS differently maybe it wouldn’t have happened…. or maybe I got it because of THIS….” If I had THAT answer I’d go back and change it … probably … but there’s my family to consider too. What a dilemma. Thanks for this post.

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