Guest Post – StephRogers: but, the grass needs mowing

Do you know Steph?  You do?  Great! 

And if you don’t, well she writes over at She Said What

She’s guest blogging at The Matticus Kingdom today and, apparently, she said this:

When thematticuskingdom put out the call for guest bloggers I thought ‘what is it that his lordship would like to read?’ and hey presto! He’s into football. He also follows MUFC just like my hubby (I can’t remember where I read that on his blog. Just trust me it’s there somewhere!). Anyway so I thought I would post about football from a wife’s perspective…

Hubby works 6 days a week. Plus we are business owners so the stress and workload is overwhelming, and doesn’t stop when the shop shuts. Basically hubby works a lot. I look after kids and home practically all the time without a break. Life can be hard at times. We rarely spend time together. When he gets time off I have a list of things that need doing, normally in the yard, because it’s impossible for me to get out there and do it while supervising the children. Under these circumstances, with the grass so tall that I can’t see the dog until he emerges from the rustling canopy onto the doorstep, with the pool bright green and completely unswimable, with the roof leaking in the laundry and the vegetable crisper from our fridge strategically placed in the roof space under the drip to stop the laundry flooding, hubby decides that he will spend his only day off in the week at a football game. He has to go and watch his beloved Western Sydney Wanderers play.

dog in grass
My dog is practically invisible in this grass

I totally cracked it and accused him of choosing football over his family. He said that wasn’t it at all and I just didn’t understand. Yes. He’s totally right. I don’t understand.

Aside from the being out at football games, there are a few more things that shit me about the football. He must watch the games. This sometimes means staying up til crazy hours because time zones dictate the MUFC games are usually on around 3am. It’s not the game watching per se. It’s the yobbo-ness that it inspires. The “yes” *fist pump, every time a goal is scored, the drunken yelling, cheering and abusing the TV (if I had balls to scratch it would inspire ball-scratching). The obsession with football twitter feeds and shows about football. I mean what’s duller than a football game? Listening to dull ex-players who were not chosen for their interpersonal skills discuss the pros and cons of a team or of a game that was on last week. Um… isn’t there grass growing somewhere? I was proud of him for taking to twitter and putting down a few immature men who found the need to make comments about a female presenter looking better in a bikini or something. That was awesome of him *chest swelling with pride.

Smoke bomb at the game
Hubby took this picture from his seat in the stands. It’s crazy!

The next annoying thing is the merchandise. Hubby needs the shirts, my sons need the shirts, we need hats and shorts and socks and posters and all sorts of crap that costs $100 extra because it has a logo on it. A plain red shirt will not do. They get you coming and going really.

Hubby went to England to visit his grandfather who lives there. He spent a whole day at Old Trafford while his grandfather sat in the coffee shop and drank coffee and killed time. Yeah that was a bonding moment.

MUFC tour
Hubby does a tour of Old Trafford
Opa in coffee shop
Meanwhile… Opa drinks coffee, lots of coffee

Really what it all comes down to is the tribalism. That’s what I really can’t stand. The us and them. I would ask why they can’t just share the ball but I’m not completely insane. The Western Sydney Wanderers  active supporters (called the Red and Black Bloc or RBB) are notorious. Here’s footage of pre-game antics in a recent game against Sydney FC

All these people are spending all this time and money watching a bunch of guys run around a field and kick a ball back and forth. All these people could be spending their time and money solving global warming, helping children in third world countries, or hell, even mowing grass!

I talk tough but the truth of the matter is that I do get it. It is about escapism. When the world is stressful and work is hard, when the list of jobs at home seems never-ending, when there is war and famine and impending environmental doom it is nice to be able to forget all that shit, put on your team colours, and go and stand with the supporters while you yell and scream and sing at the top of your lungs. When your team scores that goal it’s like your happiness knows no bounds. I get it. I love my hubby, and life is not easy for him at the moment, or ever really. So I rearrange the world so he can go to watch his Western Sydney Wanderers play. Yes occasionally I crack the shits and yell. But I feel bad afterwards. He needs the escape. If only I could get into it. I think I’ll stick to knitting.

the boys at the game
Hubby and number 1 son at the WSW game (dressed in their team colours of course!). I guess it’s not so bad.


I’m not entirely sure how someone could enjoy knitting over cheering on the finest football (soccer) club in the world; but, we never presume to know everything here in the kingdom.  Besides I’m just the jester, I don’t have to know the same things a king would have to know (favorite colors, my quest, the average airspeed velocities of both African and European swallows, etc…)

More Steph you should read:

16 thoughts on “Guest Post – StephRogers: but, the grass needs mowing

  1. I would like to clarify a few things.

    1 – The dog likes the grass to be long. He likes to pretend he is a lion, hunting prey in the jungle.
    2 – The water is in the roof to provide hydration for the possum that lives in there. I go up there and top it up myself weekly.
    3 – “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that” Bill Shankly

    • Love the Shankly quote… I’ve used it a few times myself. Especially when trying to explain the absolute heartbreak I feel when a ref brandishes a red card for no good reason completely ruining what could have been a great game…. Yes, I’m still crying over that.

      • I’m not allowed to bring it up because I’m just told I’m a whinging man united fan who had forgotten that it is always the other team getting bad calls when playing us.

        I think it’s because the refs were turks. ..and we know how much the turks hate Manchester United!

      • LOL! Okay, well, I hadn’t the Turkish – United connection, but I’m not ruling anything out at this point. Yes, all teams have to deal with bad calls going against them at some point – but, in a big game for them to be so one sided seemed a bit, well, off – the off by a mile non call that would have been a goal if vidic hadn’t been huge. The non call against Sergio Ramos hand ball near the end…

      • United v Galatasaray 1993. Have a read Steph, it’ll make our pissy little flares at parramatta look like a 5 year old girls birthday party. Bricks being thrown at players, hundreds of United fans being arrested…

  2. Hey, I’ve got my team merchandise. And it is all about the escape. Sometimes it seems like I spend most of my life trying to escape from …my life. Books, blogs, video games, movies, TV shows. you name it. The world is a cold, cruel place and I’ll do whatever I can to forget how much if sucks.

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