another round of Q and A madness

Another Friday means another round of this madness.  Other madness happened here, here and here.  Oh, and here too.

Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of film dialogue into my day to day lingo.  The following is a useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.

You probably shouldn’t ever use most of these.*  However, I’ve used many of them and the rest I’m just waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Q: What do you say when someone is being a scaredy-cat and you want to exert just a bit of peer pressure on them to talk them into stepping out of their shell (for their own benefit, of course)?
A: “Come on in!  The water’s… great.”
– Hogarth Hughes (Eli Marienthal) – Iron Giant

Q: What do you say when someone asks who you are?
A: “I’m batman.”
– Bruce Wayne (Val Kilmer) – Batman Forever

Q: What do you say to your troops when you are about to lead them to glory and almost certain death?  Or, what do you say to a bunch of friends when you are about to jump in the car to go grab some fast food?
A: “Ride now!… Ride now!…  Ride!  Ride to ruin and the world’s ending!”
– Theoden (Bernard Hill) – LOTR: The Return of the King

Q: What do you say when someone accuses you of cheating?
A: “Pirate.”
– Jack Sparrow (of the Captain variety) (Johnny Depp) – Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Q: What do you say when someone has a done a good job and you want to let them know that?
A: “Good job!”
– Hancock (Will Smith) – Hancock

Q: What do you say when someone asks you what the weather is like?
A: “It’s frickin’ freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth.”
-Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) – Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Q: What do you say when you are making a grand entrace and want everyone to notice?
A: “Hey, you guys!”
– Sloth (John Matuszak) – The Goonies

Q: What do you ask when you walk into a room and can’t remember why you are there and you see someone in that room looking at you quizically?
A: “Did you ever flashy-thing me?”
– Jay (Will Smith) – Men in Black

Q: What do you say when you see people rising up, exceeding expectations, and becoming more than they were before?
A: “They fought like warrior poets.”
– William Wallace (Mel Gibson) – Braveheart

Q: What do you say when you find yourself unexpectedly out front in a competition?
A: “I’m winning!”
– Enrico Pollini (Rowan Atkinson) – Rat Race

…..

*The Matticus Kingdom published this list for entertainment purposes only.  We do not dispense with advice we think people should ever heed and cannot be held responsible for any resulting slaps across the face, puzzled looks, loss of friends, tarnished reputation, improved reputation for that matter, closets that were once skeleton free no longer being so, or other unpleasantness that may result from following these guidelines.  Proceed at your own risk, here there be monsters.  Don’t try this at home kids.  Insert additional typical “hold harmless” verbiage here.   Someone finally commented on all the silliness going on down here last week! I thought about deleting it this week to see if anyone would notice it’s abscence but didn’t want to deprive anyone of this last final bit of silly.