More Q and A Parody Madness

The madness started here and made its way over here before now popping up again today.

Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of TV dialogue into my day to day lingo.  The following is a useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.

You probably shouldn’t ever use most of these.*  However, I’ve used many of them and the rest I’m just waiting on the perfect opportunity.

Q: What do you say when you are doing anything (listening to a song, a lecture, a conversation, a dog barking, etc…; or reading a movie script, a novel, a magazine, the warning label on your medicine bottle, etc…; or watching a movie, a television show, a play, a boxing match, etc…) and your first instinct is that it needs more of something?
A: “I got a fever!  And the only prescription… is more cowbell.”
– Bruce Dickinson (Christopher Walken) – Saturday Night Live

Q: What do you say when you are about to head out on a grand adventure?
A: “It’s going to be legen…  wait for it… dary!”
– Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) – How I Met Your Mother

Q: What do you say when you bump your head, when your bank accounts are empty, when you lose your job, when you stub your toe, when ….  when you forget what else you were going to say?
A: “D’oh!”
– Homer (Dan Castellaneta) – The Simpsons

Q: What do you say when someone quesitons your sanity?
A: “I’m not insane, my mother had me tested!”
– Sheldon (Jim Parsosn) – The Big Bang Theory

Q: What do you say to someone you are at your absolute wits end with?  Someone who has wronged you, who has tried to bypass the system, who has only ever been up to no good and finds themself up against the wall?
A: “So far, I’ve seen you lie, cheat, steal, and try murder. You tried everything but begging. Now get down on your knees…”
– Paladin (Richard Boone) – Have Gun – Will Travel

Q: What do you say when you see an attractive person and want to say hello to them?
A: “How you doin’?”
– Joey (Matt LeBlanc) – Friends

Q: What do you say after someone just went on a long, rambling, expletive filled, yet still completely pointless diatribe with far too many adjectives and other descriptive words while simultaneously trying to get a point across and completely terrorize you in the process?
A: “So you do scary little speaches.  How adorable!”
– Jill Tracy (Nicole Sullivan) – Scrubs

Q: What do you say when you catch your refelction in a mirror?
A: “I really am ruggedly handsome, aren’t I?”
– Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) – Castle

Q: What do you say if someone asks if you really care about their problems?
A: “Sure.  You make my face look like this and concerned words come out.”
– Rube (Mandy Patinkin) – Dead Like Me

Please, please stop the madness before it spreads further!

This, along with the previous installments, are by no means complete lists, but they should be enough to get you through most of life’s experiences.  Well, I’ve found them useful anyway.


*The Matticus Kingdom published this list for entertainment purposes only.  We do not dispense with advice we think people should ever heed and cannot be held responsible for any resulting slaps across the face, puzzled looks, loss of friends, tarnished reputation, improved reputation for that matter, closets that were once skeleton free no longer being so, or other unpleasantness that may result from following these guidelines.  Proceed at your own risk, here there be monsters.  Don’t try this at home kids.  Insert additional typical “hold harmless” verbiage here.

36 thoughts on “More Q and A Parody Madness

  1. I’ve been completely guilty of 2nd, 3rd, and 6th and the only one that is completely not applicable for me is Sheldon’s quote. I’m certifiably insane.

    • LOL! Okay, okay, okay… you might be on to something there. I had never considered “D’oh” as the answer to life, the unvierse and everything… but, I think you’ve hit upon it exactly! I do know, however, that beer (“mmm, beer”) is the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.

  2. Oh and this one’s from Web therapy lately my favourite quote ” I’m not bored I have enough intellectual life to keep interested in that even YOU could be saying.”

  3. I love these posts. Of course when I do find myself in those situations, I will completely fluff the line! Dam my memory recall issues. What were we talking about again???

    • No TV and no beer make Homer something something… 😀 You’ve just got to practice, practice, practice. Think fast – you just stubbed your toe, what do you say?

      • Yeah, I can’t write it here, Mumma likes to swear like a trucker when I kick my toes! Oh, do you mean…. could it be…. D’oh!? OK, I think there may have been a break through. 😉

    • “D’oh!”
      There’s probably something that would be a better fit, but that’s what came to mind first. If I think of a better one I’ll reply again.
      The story with Dead Like Me was a problem with contract negotiations – they stalled for too long and Mandy Patinkin signed for a different show; without him they didn’t really have a show anymore.

    • Haven’t seen Django yet… typically wait to watch movies until they come out on video these days (hmm, I think there is a post in there somewhere). Pulp Fiction? Might just show up next Friday with “Even More Q and A Parody Madness.”

  4. I’m fond of watching Friends episodes but like the How I Met Your Mother bit here. 😆
    And yes, reading, even magazines, and watching, even comedies, are the best ways to acquire words and phrases. Ow, and of course, blogging too. 😀

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