This is the second installment in a new series of parody posts that I started earlier this week with some humorous lyrics.
Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of movie dialogue into my day to day lingo. The following is a
useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.
You probably shouldn’t ever use these.* However, I have. Every. Single. One.
Q: What do you say when someone asks why you did something foolish?
A: “It’s like this fellow I knew in El Paso. One day, he just took all his clothes off and jumped in a mess of cactus. I asked him that same question, ‘Why?’ … He said, ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time.'”
– Vin – The Magnificent Seven
Q: What do you say when you see someone driving a super flashy car?
A: “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”
– The Joker – Batman
Q: What do you say when someone questions your coolness?
A: “I’m with it. I’m hip.”
– Dr. Evil – Austin Powers
Q: What do you say when you are about to avenge the death of your father, who you loved very much?
A: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
– Inigo Montoya – The Princess Bride
Q: What do you say when you want to happily respond in the affirmative?
A: “Oh, it’s twue. It’s twue. It’s twue, it’s twue!”
– Lily Von Shtupp – Blazing Saddles
Q: What do you say when you realize you don’t need to worry about something as much as you were?
A: “Oh, good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble.”
– Butch Cassidy – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Q: What do you say when a situation is under control but people keep asking who is taking care of it?
A: “We have top men working on it now. … Top… men.”
– Major Eaton – Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark
Q: What do you say when you are at a social event and someone playing the bagpipes has had too much to drink?
A: “We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down!”
– Stuart Mackenzie – So I Married an Axe Murderer
Q: What do you say when someone asks your name?
A: “There are some who call me… Tim.”
– Tim – Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“Harriet, sweet Harriet..”
What do you mean you’ve never been to a social event that had a bagpiper who drank too much? We’ll you’re missing out.
Bonus question – how many Mike Myers references did I make?
This, along with the previous installment, are by no means complete lists, but they should be enough to get you through most of life’s experiences. Well, I’ve found them useful anyway.