Q and A parody (take 2)

This is the second installment in a new series of parody posts that I started earlier this week with some humorous lyrics.

Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of movie dialogue into my day to day lingo.  The following is a useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.

You probably shouldn’t ever use these.*  However, I have.  Every.  Single.  One.

Q: What do you say when someone asks why you did something foolish?
A: “It’s like this fellow I knew in El Paso.  One day, he just took all his clothes off and jumped in a mess of cactus.  I asked him that same question, ‘Why?’ … He said, ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time.'”
– Vin – The Magnificent Seven

Q: What do you say when you see someone driving a super flashy car?
A: “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”
– The Joker – Batman

Q: What do you say when someone questions your coolness?
A: “I’m with it.  I’m hip.”
– Dr. Evil – Austin Powers

Q: What do you say when you are about to avenge the death of your father, who you loved very much?
A: “Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.”
– Inigo Montoya – The Princess Bride

Q: What do you say when you want to happily respond in the affirmative?
A: “Oh, it’s twue.  It’s twue.  It’s twue, it’s twue!”
– Lily Von Shtupp – Blazing Saddles

Q: What do you say when you realize you don’t need to worry about something as much as you were?
A: “Oh, good.  For a moment there I thought we were in trouble.”
– Butch Cassidy – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Q: What do you say when a situation is under control but people keep asking who is taking care of it?
A: “We have top men working on it now. …  Top… men.”
– Major Eaton – Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark

Q: What do you say when you are at a social event and someone playing the bagpipes has had too much to drink?
A: “We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down!”
– Stuart Mackenzie – So I Married an Axe Murderer

Q: What do you say when someone asks your name?
A: “There are some who call me… Tim.”
– Tim – Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Q: What do you say when someone has done a good job?
A: “That’ll do, Donkey.  That’ll do.
– Shrek – Shrek
or
A: “That’ll do pig.  That’ll do.”
– Farmer Hoggett – Babe

“Harriet, sweet Harriet..”

What do you mean you’ve never been to a social event that had a bagpiper who drank too much?  We’ll you’re missing out.

Bonus question – how many Mike Myers references did I make?

This, along with the previous installment, are by no means complete lists, but they should be enough to get you through most of life’s experiences.  Well, I’ve found them useful anyway.

…..

*The Matticus Kingdom published this list for entertainment purposes only.  We do not dispense with advice we think people should ever heed and cannot be held responsible for any resulting slaps across the face, puzzled looks, loss of friends, or other unpleasantness that may result from following these guidelines.  Proceed at your own risk, here there be monsters.  Insert additional typical “hold harmless” verbiage here.  I’ve been known to joke about my legalese sections self-destructing but am not feeling that silly today.