Q and A parody

After posting three weeks ago about movie quotes,  and reading through other submissions across the blogosphere, it dawned on me that I could do a series of posts on the dialogue I’ve stolen borrowered procured from cinema (covered),  literature (covered literary quotes two weeks ago), and music (covered lyric quotes last week).

That was supposed to be the end of it, but then likeitiz asked for “More, more, more!”

more

So, I humbly submit the fourth installment in this series.

Over the years I’ve incorporated an abundance of song lyrics into my day to day lingo.  The following is a useful guide parody I’ve put together of situations you may find yourself in and the some (in)appropriate and/or completely silly responses.  You probably shouldn’t ever use these.*

Q: What do you say when you are reminiscing about that time you spilled some apple juice in the hall?
A: “Remember the time that I spilled the cup of apple juice in the hall.”
– Blink 182 – Adam’s Song

Q: What do you say when you think your baby might be breech?
A: “Turn, Turn, Turn.”
– Byrds – Turn! Turn! Turn!

Q: What do you say to a friend who you think is being taken advantage of?
A: “Is someone getting the best, the best, the best of you?”
– Foo Fighters – Best of You

Q: What do you say when you see someone swinging a string of pearls on a corner?
A: “She swings the string of pearls on the corner.”
– Soul Asylum – String of Pearls

Q: What do you say when you’ve run out of gas and the gas station is out of gas too?
A: “Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry.”
– Don McClean – American Pie

Q: What do you sing when you are out and about, three sheets to the wind, with some friends?
A: “Cause we find ourselves in the same old mess singin’ drunken lullabies.”
– Flogging Molly – Drunken Lullabies

Q: What do you ask when you want to know if a friend has a minute or two to let you vent?
A: “Do you have some time to listen to me whine?”
– Green Day – Basket Case

Q: What do you say when you have had a few too many drinks and are trying to pick up someone at a bar?
A: “Hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone, I got a bad desire.”
– Bruce Springsteen – I’m On Fire

Q: What do you say when your pet bird is hungry?
A: “Polly wants a cracker.”
– Nirvana – Polly

Q: What do you say when you are moving to Jackson?
A: “I’m going to Jackson, and that’s a fact.  Yeah, we’re going to Jackson, ain’t never comin’ back.”
– Johnny Cash and June Carter – Jackson

Q: What do you say when you are talking about you friend Jenny who never lived up to her potential?
A: “Jenny had a chance, well she really did.”
– Offspring – The Kids Aren’t Alright

Q: What do you say as the instructor of a negotiator/crisis counseling class on the first day when you are trying to open with a joke?
A: “Might as well jump.”
– Van Halen – Jump

Q: What do you say about someone who has spent so much time in their garage working on their car that they’ve lost their mind?
A: “In the shuffling madness of the locomotive breath.”
– Jethro Tull – Locomotive Breath

This, along with the first three installments, are by no means complete lists, but they should be enough to get you through most of life’s experiences.  Well, I’ve found them useful anyway.

That’s not true at all – I’m pretty sure I’ve never used any of the above lyrics in any of the above referenced situations.  I may have used them in other situations though.  That, however, would be a story for a different day.

…..

*The Matticus Kingdom published this list for entertainment purposes only.  We do not dispense with advice we think people should ever heed and cannot be held responsible for any resulting slaps across the face or other unpleasantness that may result from following these guidelines.  Proceed at your own risk.  Insert additional typical “hold harmless” verbiage here.
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34 thoughts on “Q and A parody

  1. See I was right. We do all have our talents.
    I think you would like Andy from work. He often pulls in quotes into our conversations from movies I’ve never seen and from rap I never listen to. Then he laughs because I don’t get it. He likes my confused look. He always tells me and we have a good laugh.
    I see my dragon eye is here. Thanks!!!!

    • This sounds like conversations I have with people all the time – I pull an obscure quote from somewhere, they get confused, I explain it, we laugh and move on. Though, I also have friends where we can have full conversations just bouncing from one quote to the next – that’s always a blast.

      • It’s not an issue about being smart or not – it’s all about how we choose to waste our time. I spent high school and college watching movies and listening to music rather than doing the studying I probably should have been doing. So, my head is full of useless quotes rather than more pertinent information. Like: why is the sky blue? what is the best way to solve for “x” in mathematical equations? who was the 23rd president? what is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? etc…

      • Remember Matrix? Those guys read comic books. Look what they accomplished.
        Have you seen Shrik? How many quotes did they rip off to make us laugh.
        It’s not what you know, but what you do with it.
        Never regret what you don’t have, be creative with what you do have.
        That’s my brilliants for the day. I have to take a nap now and rest my brain. ;0)

  2. I think I have new post inspiration! Only, I am going to throw some questions at the kid and see what he comes up with. It will be our version of “Who’s Line Is It Anyway?”

  3. Enjoyed this one again! Yay!

    How about: What do you say when you see your friend hear of a sudden turn of events?
    That her face, at first just ghostly, turn a whiter shade of pale. Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum

    What do you say to someone who will not see beyond his little comfy world?
    In the paper today, tales of war and of waste, but you turn right over to the TV page. Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden

    • A Savage Garden reference! Nicely done. Shh, don’t tell anyone, but I’m working on a new movie quote post too. Might be up today, might be up tomorrow, just have to see how my day goes.

  4. My favorite… when things are really bad: “life’s a piece of %**% / when you think of it / life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true/ when you’re in the dumps/ don’t be silly chumps/ just remember that the last laugh is on you…. “. (Not that I REALLY believe that… but…) It is just an appropriate comment on the general unfairness of things at times. 🙂

    Loved this post.

    • …. and all together now, Always look on the Bright side of life.. I think I put this is the lyric list. Maybe I thought about it and didn’t? I don’t remember anymore… all this multiple posting in a series is just helping me lose my mind faster.

      • not live, unfortunately (on TV or in person), but I did catch it on youtube afterwards. it was one of the highlights of the closing ceremony, that’s for sure (tied with the Queen segment)

        no worries about the short term memory problem (wait, what are talking about again?) – I did the same thing to someone else yesterday: asked them a question they had already given me the answer to; silly me

      • Frustrating, isn’t it? Memory has been getting worse, plus I’ve been having health issues making it worse. Bleagh. Thanks for being patient with me .. I sure need it!!!!!

  5. …that’s absolutely great 🙂 and I like the songs you quote – good inspirations for what I might listen to next – you’ve got a great taste of music!

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