I wish I were(n’t)

Oh, the hypocrisy that is me…  We’ve been down this road before, haven’t we?

I wish I were a published author.  I guess I should submit something I’ve written to an agent or publisher.  I wish I were less lazy.  I wish I were more motivated.

I wish I were a better writer.  I guess I should take some classes and attend some workshops and conferences.  I wish I were richer.  I wish I were able to justify the expense.

I wish I were paid more for my 9-5 job.  (Okay, it’s actually 7 – 4, but you understand.)  I guess I should look for ways to advance my career.  I wish I were in a more stable industry.  I wish I were more dedicated to my work.

I wish I were no longer living in California.  I guess I should try to find a job in a different state to facilitate the moving process.  I wish I were capable of predicting the future.  I wish I were able to see a silver lining here on the silver strand.

I wish I were more confident.  I guess I should be happy with what I’ve achieved so far in my life and the path I am on.  And I am.  I have a college degree, a good job, a beautiful wife, a good little condo, two crazy kitties, and a child on the way.  I’ve travelled, I’ve learned, I’ve loved.  I wish I had all the answers.  I wish it were that simple.

I wish I weren’t such a hypocrite.

…..

Written in response to this week’s writing challenge: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/10/29/weekly-writing-challenge-i-wish-i-were/

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42 thoughts on “I wish I were(n’t)

    • It’s something I’m dealing with more and more the older I get. I long for the invincible and fearless days of my youth. Thanks for stopping by and adding a comment.

    • Thank you! Yes, I believe I can do it. And one of these days I will try to get something published. We shall see, we shall see. Thanks for the comment and sorry it took me so long to reply.

  1. We were cut from the same cloth? Hmm. I can relate to much of this…especially the living in California part and the writing stuff. The good news is everyone wishes and what ifs a little bit, right??

  2. hahaha…..”I wish I weren’t a hypocrite”. Now come on, don’t be so tough on yourself. From your posts you are on a fast moving train to somewhere. Yes, you might have to look for jobs elsewhere until you find the one that fills you, makes you complete. But you will. You’re too tough to give up.

  3. “I wish I were a published author. I guess I should submit something I’ve written to an agent or publisher. I wish I were less lazy. I wish I were more motivated.”

    Exactly how I feel. I’m the biggest hypocrite of them all, so I understand everything you wrote. Thanks for following my blog, I look forward to reading more 🙂

    • Well, on behalf of hypocrites everywhere, welcome to the club! We’re working on an official slogan and the cards should be in the mail shortly. (Card carrying members of the hypocrite society.)

  4. Nice Post, reminds me of two things.
    I wish I could win the lottery. Maybe one day I’ll buy a ticket.
    I wish I could want what I have and not seek to have what I want.
    Baby on the way? Wow. For me becoming a father changed everything (for the better). I learned what was important, what love meant, what selflessness was really about. And I had whole new motive for trying harder – to make my kids proud.
    I hope the same happens for you.
    Last things though, in case you feel like you’re never ready – this phrase is with me always: experience is something you get just after you need it!
    Thanks for following. 😆

    • Your post was very powerful. I would have commented as such too, but for some reason I can’t add new comments on the computer I’m currently using (I think it has to do with the OS), while I have no problem replying to comments. It’s a mystery. Thanks for stopping by and reading a whole bunch of my posts!

  5. Ahihihi …. Looks like a one big oxymoron. You contradict yourself. But I see what you mean, actually. I’m in the same boat. My job is not my area but it puts food on my plate. Sometimes, even if you see everything is in front of you, you still feel so empty and something’s incomplete and missing.
    Very well-written.

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