Versus: Season 2 Episode 4

The Jester and his First Knight once again face off in the virtual arena. Please head on over and cast your votes. Let us know who you think would win!

33 Grams of Blog

It’s the Versus that you’ve all been waiting for! It’s the long anticipated rematch between Matticus and I!

Well, I’m sure at least one of you were anxiously awaiting it anyway.

The first order of business, however, is declaring the winner of the previous Versus post. In Episode 3, I asked you to vote for which of the three Summers brothers was the most badass. Once again, the results didn’t go for who I voted for. You said that Gabriel, or Vulcan as he’s more widely known, was that answer. It’s hard to argue that. After all, he did conquer the Shi’ar Empire. In defense of Alex (Havok), who I voted for, in the War of the Kings storyline, Havok was able to absorb the energy of an entire star and use it to hurt Vulcan pretty badly. Just as Havok was about to put him down for good…

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The Note I Almost Wrote

It has been more than 30 years since my attempt. It is misconception that a suicide requires a note. I had one written in my mind. It has stayed with me along with many of the prevailing feelings. The triggering beast lingers with a glance or (un)spoken word. Here it is.

Dear Daddy, Mom and (Sis),

Thank you all for deciding to be gone today. When you return, I will be gone. My body will be here and for that, I apologize. The mess that I am will be gone.

I don’t want to write this because if I fail, just add it to the list.

You may have noticed that ‘A’ doesn’t come around much. I told her to stay the fuck away.

Daddy, I said horrible words to you…they were awful enough to make you put hands on me. The idea was to make you believe sis was better. I think to an extent it worked. Our relationship changed in the weeks after that.

If I fail I will have to accept accountability.

I am nothing but a fuck up. If it is not fucked up and I touch it, it will die (aka I will have fucked it up).

You all don’t need that.

I love you and I do apologize.

Jaded.

8 years

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Dearest Queen,

Eight years ago, our vows promised adventure, and oh the adventures we have had.

Some have changed over the years… The daily dance drama has been substituted with the poop story of the day – two kids and two fur babies, and all of them full of shenanigans, and that’s a lot of poop.

Some have not changed… Mammoth season passes – and all the fun and tranquility the mountain provides time after time after time, recharging our spirits and adding stories to our shared life.

Our home has been updated and upgraded while remaining the same reliable, comfortable bedrock for our family. That family has grown with the addition of kitties and children, in that order. We’ve had some misunderstandings. We’ve had some disappointments. We’ve had some amazing triumphs. We’ve had some perfect moments.

We’ve faced it all side by side. And we’ve made it through, together. We make a great team.

I am still sad every morning when I have to leave you to go to work. I am still thrilled when I see you next, no matter the circumstances. You make me feel safe. You make me feel whole. I don’t see that ever changing.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t imagine it any other way.

I know that regardless of what adventures come our way next, we will navigate them successfully. The good, we will fully enjoy. The bad, we will survive and come through with laughter. These are truths of who we are.

I love you,

Matt

3 months in the life

Dear LITTLER Prince,

(And, yes, that is an important distinction to make.)

You are 3 months old! Oh my goodness. When did that happen? And how? And all the other questions! Okay, okay, I know three months isn’t very long, but it is still all you’ve known. And, considering the first couple months of your life are often referred to as the fourth trimester, it is a quarter of your entire existence. That’s a big chunk of time.

You are progressing nicely away from bump on a log status. Your kung fu fighting is still going strong and you’ve started to kick yourself almost into a roll. You aren’t quite there yet, but one day soon you will get yourself rolled over from back to front. Then it will only be a matter of time before you are headed off to college. Hmm, maybe I’m jumping ahead a bit there, but sometimes that’s how it feels. I’m certainly not in a hurry for that. I’m loving every second of you right now.

The faces you make, including the almost smile, maybe that was a smile, did I just see a dimple, there! there! that was definitely a smile moments. The sounds you make, from the sweet coos to the happy screeches. Okay, the shrieking cries in my ear aren’t my favorite thing, but you don’t do those that often anyway. The drool… and I know that’s a weird thing to like, but I can’t help it. Your drooly little face is adorable. And, you’ve started shoving everything you can into your mouth. Well, you try to shove everything in. Somethings are too big and sometimes you miss. And that’s okay too, because you really shouldn’t be putting stuff in there in the first place. But, you will because that’s how you explore, and that’s okay too.

Then, beyond all of that, my current favorite part of your first three months has been how awestruck you are with your big brother. You hear his voice and look around until you find him and then you stare and stare and stare. It is sweet and adorable and, as a younger brother myself, it hopefully speaks to the good friendship you two will forge in the years ahead. I’m excited for you.

So, keep on keeping on. Learn all the things. Your mom and I, and big brother, will help you along as best we can. And, you’ve got a whole kingdom cheering you on, too. You’re doing great.

Love you,

Daddy / Matticus / The Jester

on being four 

Dear Little Prince,

How much longer will I be able to call you that?  Little…  It hardly seems to fit anymore.  You aren’t even in toddler size shoes anymore.  You don’t tie your own laces yet, but your shoes have laces too.  And that’s just talking about your feet.

Two eye appointments ago you read the chart using numbers, which was amazing in itself.  Then, at your last appointment you read the chart using letters.  Your mom and I were so very proud of you.  Not only did you know your letters but you were confident enough to suggest using them instead of the numbers.  You said, “I can do this,” and you did.

It’s been a year of moments like that.  You would decide it was time to take on a new responsibility or challenge and then you would do it.  The most recent of those was taking the training wheels off your bike.  They were slowing you down.  You weren’t even four yet.  The almost six year old two doors down still has training wheels on his bike.

In other words, you are exceptional.  That’s not surprising, given your parents.

You are stubborn and strong-willed, too, of course.  You are infuriating at times.  You know how to press my buttons and seem to take pleasure in doing so as well.  None of that is surprising either, again, given your parents.  Plus, your stubbornness and confidence will serve you well later.  There’s no challenge you will shy away from.  There is no obstacle that will stand in your way for long.  There is no limit to your potential.

I can tell all this about you already and you are still only four. 

What will the next year hold for you?  It’s a mystery I’m excited to watch you solve.

Love you,

Daddy / Matticus / The Jester